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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how much

117 replies

Angel786 · 05/09/2011 18:13

You earn (if working). I know it would be rude in person but strangers on t'internet seems fine. Am just being nosy after seeing someone say they felt poor when her DH earns 45k p/a. Doesn't sound like poor to me.

OP posts:

marriedinwhite · 06/09/2011 10:09

We are probably in the top few percent in terms of income but we live relatively modestly compared to many others whom I know are on less. It's less about what people earn than what they have left when expenses, essential and otherwise have been paid. I can honestly say that I have everything I ever wanted and could have lots more if I wanted it but on the other hand I always think twice before I spend anything and we do not do any of the following:

drive expensive cars
wear especially expensive clothes (although that's relative)
take expensive holidays (usually one a year, with perhaps a cottage away at Christmas or Easter to which we will invite family) and one overseas trip each year for each child with school
eat in expensive restaurants (unless DH has to entertain clients - hate it actually)

We live well, but not extravagantly and I think most people's jaws would drop in r/l if they knew what we had stashed away. We might go to the opera or theatre every couple of months.

Poshbaggirl · 06/09/2011 20:29

I am trying very hard not to get started on w/bankers.

So will just say that on the 1% of what Chocolate has, yes £7500 salary I will just wax lyrical about the freedom and joy in my life.

Dropped DD at the bus at 7.30am and cycled for half an hour to forage for blackberries, which along with the apples outside a house that said 'free windfalls' I made into a delicious apple and blackberry crumble for tea.

Wouldn't swap my satisfying and simple life for anything. Some things money cant buy. I'm going to go away now........

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 06/09/2011 20:35

What makes you think we don't also forage for blackberries, poshbaggirl? It's actually my DS's favourite thing to do (not joking)

Also, DH is not, actually, a b/wanker.... I just can't say what he does or where he does it.

BrandyAlexander · 06/09/2011 20:41

Poshbaggirl, what makes you think Chocolate or any other higher doesn't have a satisfying life? What a bitchy and bizarre assumption.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 06/09/2011 21:05

Alright, DC napping now so have time to concentrate! Interesting thread: can see it devolving into some h..u....g........e assumptions about what 'we' who earn lots of money are like (and also professions about the supposed association between poverty and simplicity of outlook/life satisfaction). posh all you know about me is that we have a lot of money because of DH's job. I have freely admitted (because this thread is about income and it's been an interesting read) that we do, indeed, have a lot of money.

Do you know what we use this money for? Do you know what we intend to do with it? Would it make a difference to you if you knew the RL answers to these questions, or does the very fact that we make a blinding load of money mean we are automatically arseholes We have a lot of money, we do indeed - it helps enormously, as the old saying goes: 'I've been rich and I've been poor, rich is better' - well, rich is certainly more comfortable.

All of these other facts about us are true, btw: I only own 3 pairs of jeans, one skirt and four dresses - and no, nothing comes from Pucci . My DC will go to the local state school. We hope to give our ILs $100K next year to help with their mortgage. We will give away $1million before we die.

Are we still arseholes???

sneakybeak · 06/09/2011 21:08

ONLY $1m.

Cheapskates

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 06/09/2011 21:14

Oh ha ha..... I admit I'm a bit defensive about how much money we have.... which is exactly why no one IRL outside of family knows The Situation - for fear we'd get exactly the same reaction I did on-line, although with actual people

sneakybeak · 06/09/2011 21:18

I think you sound fab - grateful for what you have, but I think that us people who are less well off want to believe that there is some weird karma that means you can't have it all in life.

Well you can, and you can also have f*ck all through no fault of your own. But the fact that I have less is nothing to be jealous of. You're not taking anything from me. There's enough to go round.

pinkhebe · 06/09/2011 21:19

We have a combined salary of £30k. We're quite happily living on this, no big holidays - 4 nights camping, but we do have to run 2 cars which takes most of our money (more than the mortgage)

ViviPru · 06/09/2011 21:23

Understood its hardly a broad and representative sample, but its interesting that responses seem to be quite polarised.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 06/09/2011 21:25

Well, sneaky I jacked in my career to be with the DC full time until they are in school, and I do get heebie-jeebies that I won't be able to 'make it' back again when they are older... fear that I'll have to have a whole load of useless plastic surgery as a way of filling the time.... (joke!!!)

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 06/09/2011 21:30

Chocolate I am sorry I mentioned the banker word last night, it was very much intended as tongue in cheek.

Poshbag - I can make blackberry crumble too, what's your point?
I think it is really mean to make a load of assumptions purely based on income - at either end of the scale.

sneakybeak · 06/09/2011 21:32

The biggest thing I'd like about having more money would be that I could sleep easier each night. We're OK but for a while it's going to be so tight (£100 pw for food/petrol/luxuries(!) That is depressing, but then we have some very rich friends who have just lost twins, we have rich friends going through IVF... I know they'd give every penny for our 'luck', health and happiness.

sneakybeak · 06/09/2011 21:33

Knowing MN someone is going to come along and say I'm rich having a whopping £100 pw

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 06/09/2011 21:38

Ali I thought you were funny! Genius rhyming.... I thought that, being English and all (we mostly are, aren't we?) that we wouldn't need an irony emoticon, but maybe we do

And my mum's blackberry crumble (with berries from 'tgarden and apples, too!) is the best, btw....

sneaky I hear you.... it took us over a year to conceive DS, and I had two miscarriages between him and DD... no money in the world is going to make that feel better..... I'm sorry for your money troubles, though. Seriously. Irony-free emoticon....

naughtaless · 06/09/2011 21:52

45k a year between us. I don't feel rich and I don't feel poor. We pay our bills and are saving as much as we can for when dd goes to uni, (she wants to be a vet, I'm figuring we may end up living in a tent )
Chocolate, it must be a lovely feeling to know you can pay of your inlaws mortgage next year, which will give them a better quality of life.
One other thing, apparently I, make the best Apple and Blackberry crumble in the world. I know this to be true, as my ds told me.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 06/09/2011 21:54

Chocolate

sneaky - someone will tell you you are rich on that, for sure. I hope things won't be so tight for you for too long.

That is a good point actually. Some of our closest friends decided to hold off on babies for a couple of years after they got married, save up, overpay the mortgage etc. They have a bigger house than we do, smaller mortgage, and I expect more cash in the bank although I don't know that for sure. But they have now been trying for a baby for over 2 years, and have suffered 3 miscarriages, one well into 2nd trimester. I don't suppose their secure position is any comfort to them whatsoever :(

Poshbaggirl · 06/09/2011 22:07

Chocolate, what reaction were you expecting? Sure, we can all post honest stuff here, but it doesnt mean you'll get a different reaction than in RL.
I wasnt being mean, just making a point that i wouldnt change my lifestyle for loads of money. It seems chocolate aspires to my way of life.

sneakybeak · 06/09/2011 22:07

I try to take a 'global' approach to life. As Baz Lurhman said "sometimes you're ahead, sometimes You're behind?the race is long, and in the end, it's only with
Yourself"

Poshbaggirl · 06/09/2011 22:09

Ooooo and so mysterious about what his profession is.....some things you just cant say on MN.

Poshbaggirl · 06/09/2011 22:10

You are right sneaky.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 06/09/2011 22:44

Oh, alright then, he's a superhero fighting crime in New York! Would link to the photo but haven't got one of him in his mask (to hide his identity, dontchaknow?)....

Original poster

Angel786 · 07/09/2011 00:12

Thank you ALL for responding, and being so open. I was being v nosy and curious but appreciate your honesty.

Whatever curve balls life throws, hopefully it works out in the end. Yep after a glass or two of pinot noir I'm feeling v philosophical x

OP posts:

Poshbaggirl · 07/09/2011 06:19

Superheroes dont get paid. Thats the original altruistic profession.

jellybeans208 · 07/09/2011 07:01

I am on 6.15 an hour and my husband has recently gone up to 15500 a year from minimum wage. Our mortgage has gone down from 655 to 355 yippee. We are lucky as childcare is free so since this month I have become loaded and Im loving it!!

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