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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much

117 replies

Angel786 · 05/09/2011 18:13

You earn (if working). I know it would be rude in person but strangers on t'internet seems fine. Am just being nosy after seeing someone say they felt poor when her DH earns 45k p/a. Doesn't sound like poor to me.

OP posts:
my2centsis · 05/09/2011 22:19

i dont think its unreasonable, the chances of us meeting each other are very slim...
Dp / a carpet layer... gets 52 a year... thats new zealand money so not sure what it would be were you are?

we also have a big loan so they money doesnt go far lol

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 05/09/2011 22:19

Explain 'tumbleweed' am baffled - it's a plant, isn't it? Or is it some kind of internet bollocking for being loaded?

BTW, DH is in high-earning field (obviously....) - always seems unfair to me that some people will never earn what he does annually, despite doing much more worthwhile profession. And when I earnt, was in 'worthwhile' profession that would probably net me over my lifetime what DH earns annually!

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 05/09/2011 22:21

Oh, and I'm not the most loaded - Xenia is a multi-multi millionaire! Grin

spiderslegs · 05/09/2011 22:26

I think Poshbag's 'tumbleweed' was a reaction to the board going quiet after you posted Chocolate, it's a plant that rolls across the desert when there's nothing else there, it was always a precursor to a Western fight in the John Wayne days.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 05/09/2011 22:28

I'll get me coat, shall I, then?

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 05/09/2011 22:28

Or come back with my gun?

spiderslegs · 05/09/2011 22:42

Do not fear Chocolate - I will stand beside you (in the name of honesty).

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 05/09/2011 22:45

Chocolate I'm afraid you've just put yourself in the 'banker/wanker' category Grin

spiderslegs you are spot on that people don't answer. There is a competitive poverty on MN and to admit to even being comfortable is often frowned on.

There is a thread atm with someone asking whether their budget is realistic, they're planning a relocation. Lots of people giving good advice, but equally a great deal of the 'we live on 12 pence a week'. Which if you have to do it is one thing, but if you have a choice?
I have posted saying I don't think it is enough, and will no doubt be flamed for being greedy or profligate or in a bubble or something.

And you'll notice I'm still not revealing our income Wink

jcscot · 05/09/2011 23:03

I earn precisely zero (I'm at home with the children). Husband earns c£70,000 p.a. in the public sector. Excellent pension and reasonable career prospects.

We have a reasonable mortgage and are building a nice pot of savings.

We consider ourselves to be very lucky.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 05/09/2011 23:09

But 'tis DH who is the wanker, surely? Grin

I used to be a fundraiser for children with disabilities (can I get half a halo? Or is it all obliterated by virtue of being married to b/wanker?)

God, this thread is reminding me of in/out group at school! No prizes for getting which group I was in Grin

Oh, and this is exactly why we don't. ever. talk about money IRL - even our brothers have no idea what DH makes!

spiderslegs · 05/09/2011 23:10

Ali - you are quite right, I tried to find the budget thread earlier as I had a glimpse but then lost my connection (grr - pesky nibbling mice- grr BT, grr the private engineer who came to have a look, grr the lot of ya) anyway, I digress.

Yes, people earn disparate incomes, &, fair or not, we're not debating the rights or wrongs here, merely asking the question.

I think sometimes honest debate is stifled due to fear.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 05/09/2011 23:16

spiderslegs - TOTALLY!!! I always stick my oar in whenever people ask questions IRL about babies (just being truthful about our experience with two colicky babies) and you can hear a mouse's fart afterwards.....

We say we want honesty, but do we really? Even on MN? Even in AIBU..... Grin

PotPourri · 05/09/2011 23:22

Someone I know thinks they are absolutely poverty striken, but DH earns £100k! She doesn't work, and they eat from Lidl, grow their own stuff, only buy clothes from car boots etc. I literally have no idea where their money goes. But she wrote to the MP about child benefit being taken away as it will mean they are even more poverty stricken - boo hoo.

I know someone else whose husband works from home on several lucrative but plently of x-box play allowing businesses, while she works as a scientist. Combined income I estimate from what has been said at around £70k+. Again, they see themselves as poverty stricken and take a loan of whoever they can to get lifts everywhere or work done on their house, babysitting - anything they can get they take. They too have written to their MP about the loss of the child benefit - boo hoo. And to the council to try and get a free bus for their son to get to school, even though they are close by and there is a pavement all the way, and they could have got the bus for only £40 a month (which apparently they can't afford)

Neither have childcare, which for us costs more than one of our incomes! Clearly there are really tight people living near me. But I think it goes to show that it really is all relative. Maybe they have a coke addiction or something.... beats me.

The secret is to just try to be happy with what you have. Otherwise you will end a right miserable git.

Soothe · 05/09/2011 23:27

chocolate !!! Fab!!! Is that dollars or pounds!??

PotPourri · 05/09/2011 23:31

Oh Chocolate - good for you. I will be honest, as that is what we are doing here. I am a little bit jealous of that amount of income! Wink

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 05/09/2011 23:32

soothe it's dollars. And we live somewhere london-equivalent in terms of shocking prices. But I'm not going to pretend it's anything less than amazing. It really is. And we hope to give my ILs $100K next year to go towards their mortgage. So there's some really fab things you can do with it.

flangeismyfaveword · 05/09/2011 23:49

I am NW England, sp of 1 and my income from full time work is 13000. Tis hard but possible and I feel both me and my dd dont miss out on much, I have a sis who earns 30,000 and her dp 50,000 who cannot work their finances out,quite simply because they have always had loads of money but been taxed quite hwavily and now they have dc and dont qualify for any childcare help and we have discovered that childcare is very expensive!I feel bad for my sis as she cannot afford to go part time due to the excessive early 2000 mortage that means they are both stuck! Despite earnin a very good wage

spiderslegs · 05/09/2011 23:57

Pah,, just posted a long & friendly reply to Chocolate & lost it.

The gist of it was - yes - let's be honest about our income, births, child rearing, education of our children, the way we feed our children & EVERYTHING.

To do anything less is to sell people a lie, which is why I have lost my faith in politics over the years.

I still vote but think vox-pops, sound bites & the media have replaced actual debate.

ChocolateIsAFoodGroup · 06/09/2011 00:24

I hear the spirit of your long and friendly reply, spiders and thank you! And now I'm going to have a long, hot bath by myself (oh, the joy!) as DC and DH OUT Why is that such a thrilling thought, when I love them all so much?!.... Reminds me of favourite line in favourite book (Diary of a Provincial Lady): 'Maybe the best thing in life is to be a childless widow'. Terrible, but funny.....

spiderslegs · 06/09/2011 00:41

Ahh - I do love a bit of Diary of a Provincial Lady, go bathe Chocolate, & enjoy, I love the little bastards sooo much but am planning a day of complete slattern-like behaviour tomorrow. I will wallow for a week at least in their absence.

But rejoice in their return.

Bubbaluv · 06/09/2011 03:15

Similar to Chocolate here.
I don't feel rich in the area where we live. We live in a fairly unassuming 3 bdrm house and many of our friends earn considerably more than us. We have 1 car (not an luxury brand) and I don't frequent Gucci etc
I do recognise, though, that it is a huge amount of money and I know I am extremely fortunate.

Chocolate - are you in Aus?

MrMan · 06/09/2011 03:33

Read an article recently that most people who earn over $1M a year think that they don't earn enough. Also no matter what you earn, most people think a 'comfortable' salary is about 50% more than what they earn at the moment. Also that more higher-earning people commit suicide.

The lesson I take is that there are better dreams to have than chasing money.

BrandyAlexander · 06/09/2011 04:32

It varies from year to year but this year I am guessing somewhere between £900k to just over £1m in total. Only our parents know this in rl as life is just much more simple that way. We could v happily live on dh's salary alone although I am the higher earner.

BrandyAlexander · 06/09/2011 04:36

MrMan, errr thanks for that info!

Morloth · 06/09/2011 05:15

My last full time job paid about $85k a year, I have done part time a bit since then am mostly pro rata of that.

DH makes about $200k a year including bonuses etc.

We are very aware of how fortunate we are and TBH DH often can't believe how much he gets paid for doing what he loves. The jobs I am looking at now for returning to work in January are paying around $100k full time. Hopefully I can find something for 3 days a week and get that pro rata'd.

I don't love the work I do, but it is OK, I am very good at it and it pays well.