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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Help settle an argument

59 replies

ReindeerBollocks · 22/08/2011 19:19

DH and I currently rowing discussing wedding stuff.

When holding a reception (at swish venue) do you let guests choose the menu or set a menu for them?

I have been to several weddings which when having a wedding breakfast, have a set menu. Have also been to Weddings which have had a choice (when sent out with invites)

DH has been to one wedding. They had a buffet.

He believes that our guests should all get a choice of food.

I did agree, but now we've only got less than three weeks to plan this, I think we should just set a menu.

Who is right?

(BTW we are taking this seriously - you choose his choice I'll be ringing guests this evening!)

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 22/08/2011 19:20

For the sake of ease and cost, set a menu.

JarethTheGoblinKing · 22/08/2011 19:20

Set menu.

summertimeblews · 22/08/2011 19:21

never had a menu to choose from before

eat what you are given is my motto :)

Shodan · 22/08/2011 19:21

You choose a menu, but take into account any special dietary needs.

Too much faff otherwise.

Sofabitch · 22/08/2011 19:21

For a sit down meal it has to be a set menu.

reelingintheyears · 22/08/2011 19:21

Yep..set menu.

exoticfruits · 22/08/2011 19:21

You can do whatever you like. It is cheaper to have a set menu. We had a set menu. Smile (with veggie option-in advance)

MrsJamin · 22/08/2011 19:22

Set menu

fivegomadindorset · 22/08/2011 19:22

Set menu ask for Any dietry requirements

Pakdooik · 22/08/2011 19:22

Set menu with special dietary needs options

silverfrog · 22/08/2011 19:23

set menu with options Wink

seriously, though - set menu, choice of omnivore or vegetarian. ask about other special dietary requirements (eg dairy/gluten issues - you could make your veggie option a gluten free vegan option, which should cover most issues, but there are always nut allergies etc to consider too)

Thistledew · 22/08/2011 19:27

Set menu with any special dietary requirements to be notified in advance.

I have been to 5 weddings recently. 3 had set menus, one was a buffet and one was an Indian wedding so had a selection of curries served to each table from which you could make your own choice.

Catsmamma · 22/08/2011 19:27

how many guests are there cos I think that has some bearing!

if it's under a dozen then a swish venue should be able to cope with individual choices

but any more then set menu, with a couple of choices, which they have to order in advance.

Muckyhighchair · 22/08/2011 19:30

The last wedding I went to had a mix

Set starter soup and roll

A choice of 3 mains Sunday lunch style of beef or lamb or nut roast for the veggies ( this choice was talked with them before the menu was set but open to meat eaters as well)

And trio small of puddings

They had the list made up weeks before and on the table names the guest choice. Seemed to work well and they said it work in fairly cheap because all the veg etc was the same for all the mains

Nagoo · 22/08/2011 19:30

I'd expect a set menu. I have been to one where we chose from 3 options for start main and dessert, but only one. What does the venue offer?

squeakytoy · 22/08/2011 19:31

set menu with 3 choices usually... meat, fish , vegetarian..

Sewmuchtodo · 22/08/2011 19:31

We had choices but the quests decided on the day.

2 starters, 2 soups, 3 mains and 2 desserst followed by tea or coffee and chocs.

It ment the quests could decide what they fancied on the day. It worked out a few pounds more a head to have options though, and if doing it in 3wks a set menu would give good value.

squeakytoy · 22/08/2011 19:32

depending on numbers, many places can not cater to choices on the day.. they have to know in advance

notcitrus · 22/08/2011 19:35

If you want a sit-down full-service meal, it'll have to be set menu.
However a buffet where people go up and serve themselves salads etc and get served the hot stuff will be able to be more flexible, better value (don't have to pay for so many staff) and IME most guests will prefer it.

Peachy · 22/08/2011 19:36

set menu, people who loathe main can choose veggie option

Original poster
ReindeerBollocks · 22/08/2011 19:38

I am liking this so far

Menu choices are

Course 1
Soup
Chicken Terrine
Red pepper and spring onion tartlet
Assiette of melon

Course 2
Slow roasted moorland lamb
Roast rump of Beef
Whole Seabass

Course 3
Raspberry creme brûlée
White chocolate mousse
Apple crumble

Fairly bog standard menu (sounds fancier on the cards they gave us) 50 guests.

OP posts:
eaglewings · 22/08/2011 19:38

Wedding last weekend had a set menu and it wasn't until your post I thought about it. They had different pudding for me without milk. The wine and company were actually more important to those on our table tbh

Original poster
ReindeerBollocks · 22/08/2011 19:39

squeaky the venue need to know ASAP. DH wants us me to ring guests now and find out their orders!

OP posts:
Dozer · 22/08/2011 19:45

Depends on the venue/caterer, some can do a choice with very short notice where guests choose when there.

Buffets are often cheaper.

DrPolidori · 22/08/2011 19:45

I would always have the starter as a veggie one. which should suit everyone, a choice of two mains, one meat and one veggie, and two pud options, one full on dairy gluten etc, the other dairy free

That way you can cut down on costs and make everyone happy.

I own a restaurant so if you want ideas for a gorgeous veggie option,both main and starter, let me know! Can also give you some ideas of a reasonable meat main which shouldn't taste "factory".