Help settle an argument

[ReindeerBollocks]

DH and I currently rowing discussing wedding stuff.

When holding a reception (at swish venue) do you let guests choose the menu or set a menu for them?

I have been to several weddings which when having a wedding breakfast, have a set menu. Have also been to Weddings which have had a choice (when sent out with invites)

DH has been to one wedding. They had a buffet.

He believes that our guests should all get a choice of food.

I did agree, but now we've only got less than three weeks to plan this, I think we should just set a menu.

Who is right?

(BTW we are taking this seriously - you choose his choice I'll be ringing guests this evening!)

[DrPolidori]

However! If you go for the buffet option, it is relatively easy to ensure everyone is catered for within the buffet. PM me for ideas.

[umf]

set menu. almost always set menu.

[DrPolidori]

You can't possibly leave the decision up to all your guests, it ust will not stack up and upset everyone whose preference has been ignored.

[Iggly]

Set menu, you decide. Have veggie option too obviously.

[AdelaofBlois]

Isn't a buffet a set menu where people choose? It doesn't have to be quiche and a rolled up sarnie. Am confused.

Weddings beyond me, neither my partner or I ever saw the point, but have organised a few conferences. Posh buffets are ace because people chat, mingle in the queue, get as much or as little as they want.

But posh buffet, mind you.

[AdelaofBlois]

And check the venue has as sufficiuent serving tables. Catering manager used to tell me one service stand per 20 guests was about right to avoid huge queues. But they may have been lying for the extra cash...

[HSMM]

I always like buffets

[DrPolidori]

Exactly Adela. Its all agreed in advance,just a few more option, a coulpe of hot dishes, such as butternut squash gratin and chicken cacciatore, some gorgeous, ottolhengi style salads (very easy to make those a variety which are non dairy and gluten free), salmon, thinly sliced raw beef, yummy dressings, pavlova, chocolate cake, a gluten free pud....summer fruits with cream or a summer fruit granita////

[ReindeerBollocks]

Thank you, you lovely lot.

We're not allowed a buffet as it's part of the contract with the venue, we have to pick options from the menu as above. The venue said the guests can pick individual meals, if they wish, and as long as we let them know in the next couple of days they will accommodate.

Or we can set a menu.

My preference is to set a menu - there will be disagreements either way, but set menu is easier for me

DrPolidori I wish I'd of asked earlier - I bet you have some gorgeous recipes!

I was thinking

Tart
Lamb
Creme Brûlée

Will email the venue in ten minutes.

[takethisonehereforastart]

Set menu. We did that, it worked really well. We only had one person who needed something different because of a dairy intolorence but even then it was only one course that was affected and changed in their case.

My friend said afterwards that she wished she had done the same because her wedding felt like a bit of a free for all, with one bossy uncle "helping" the waitresses by shouting "Who wanted the fish?...Who's having beef?..." across the venue at the top of his voice and half the guests had forgotten what they had chosen weeks before, fancied something else and were just claiming meals they liked the look of on the day.

Why they can't use the seating plan to match up guests with meals I do not know, so if you go down that route I would say give the venue a seating plan with the name of the guests and the meal options they have chosen on it and tell them to just serve people according to that.

We had an early wedding, a meal at mid afternoon, so we also had a buffet later on in the evening. Best buffet ever because I was the bride and got first pick

[DrPolidori]

Off the set menu, I think your choices are spot on. Do check their veggie options and be demanding if they are as dull as fuck!

Also demand fresh fruit pud option.....

[Whatmeworry]

Set Menu. Sorted.

[AdelaofBlois]

Set menu then. Whatever else, two days is not enough time to ask,a nd those who reply too late will be arsey. Guess at vegetarian numbers and go high if you need to-many who eat meat love vegetarian food too.

[DrPolidori]

As for your guests, as everybody else says, just ask if they have any dietary issues and plan for those. Always OVER cater for the veggies and intolerant, as there will ALWAYS be someone who didn't reply and will get upset....

[sue52]

Set menu and ask vegetarians and people with special dietary requirements to inform you when they RSVP.

[AdelaofBlois]

Or, give them a bottle of bubbly each and just have a tray of posh pies, fried egg and bacon sarnies. My sister did that for the breakfast, and it was about the only aspect of her wedding (rather than her happiness-inducing marriage) I enjoyed.

[AngelDelightIsIndeedDelightful]

It never even occurred to me that it was possible for guests to have a choice. When we got married 7 years ago the hotel just wanted a meat option and a veggie option.

If the hotel are happy to provide choices then I would probably go for that as it'll save you getting earache from anyone who doesn't like your choice! Your dh should do the ringing though if he's the one who wants that option.

I shall never forget sitting at the top table for my wedding and enduring the humiliation that was my aunt accosting a waiter and demanding that he get her the veggie option because "I don't like duck" Fair play to them though, they rustled one up for her sharpish! I was secretly hoping they'd 'doctored' it in some way

[GnomeDePlume]

Set menu. I like your choice though would agree about seeing if it is possible to have a fruit salad. This would then cover anyone who cant/wont eat eggs (I'm a cant and know plenty of wonts).

[TheOriginalFAB]

Set menu but cater for vegetarians. That is what we did.

We really should have had the meal first as a try out...

[Red2011]

With just three weeks - as shodan says set menu (taking on board any special dietary requirements). Enjoy & congratulations! x

[DrPolidori]

Grrh! Now I have got all excited and have been planning your menu in my head!

Sigh! Taking a month off and I am getting cooking withdrawal!

[supadupapupascupa]

well I don't really like the set menu where no options at all. When we were hunting for venues, they all gave every guest an option for each course and we had to let the venue know near the day how many of each meal to provide.
Pain in the bum to get people to come back with their choices, but everyone was happy.
Never not had the choice tbh.

[DrPolidori]

In my gaff I make lack of choice a virtue. One meat and one veg each night, but they are always a complete contrast to each other, so they are genuine choices, I never do faux versions of the main (apart from the burgers, where I do a mean chick, chiilli and coriander burger).

So if the meat main is a warm and hearty soup, the veg main will be something completely different. I aim to make it less of a meat/veg choice and more of a dining choice.

[DrPolidori]

sorry, I meant a warm and hearty stew!

[northerngirl41]

Depends on how many people you have - to get 300 meals out all at the same time is quite some feat and therefore the caterer needs to know in advance what everyone is eating.

If you have say up to 20 people, it's actually no greater than a large restaurant meal and therefore everyone can just pick off the menu and the chef can rustle up whatever.

The middle ground of letting people choose on the day is slghtly risky as let's say the choice is beef/chicken/veggie and you have 300 guests - it's very unlikely that 100 will each choose beef, 100 chicken, 100 veggie so you'll end up with some disappointed guests. The caterers might build in some over-supply so that they cook maybe 150 of each dish, but you'll be paying for this flexibility.