Help settle an argument

[ReindeerBollocks]

DH and I currently rowing discussing wedding stuff.

When holding a reception (at swish venue) do you let guests choose the menu or set a menu for them?

I have been to several weddings which when having a wedding breakfast, have a set menu. Have also been to Weddings which have had a choice (when sent out with invites)

DH has been to one wedding. They had a buffet.

He believes that our guests should all get a choice of food.

I did agree, but now we've only got less than three weeks to plan this, I think we should just set a menu.

Who is right?

(BTW we are taking this seriously - you choose his choice I'll be ringing guests this evening!)

Dr Polidori - I really appreciate your advice (and if I am ever crazy enough to organise another party I shall PM you!!)

Christening party?

Northern, you are right. After much trial and error, I can pretty well bang on guess the amount of veggie/non veggie is chosen (which encompasses meat eaters choosing veggie)

I've only ever had a choice when the reception has been in a hotel. I guess it's easier when the kitchen has restaurants to deal with as well where the non-used ingredients can be put to use. We had caterers at a small stately home and had a set meal (but accommodated all manner of special requirements).

When you send out the invites you must clearly state a date, that they need to reply to let you know if they are coming. Its usually a month before the day otherwise you could end up with too many meals. For instance we had three meals and it wasted £60 people didnt come.

On the invite you need to say please let me know if you are a vegetarian.

We did a set meal and had three vegetarian meals, and seven children meals. The kids meals was the same as the adults but smaller portions.

If you ask people what they want it will get complicated. People will change their mind, forget what they ordered, not want it on the day. Its more fun to leave it as a suprise and saves alot of hassle.

Set menu every time.

You're hosting a dinner, not running a restaurant.

My stepdaughter got married last year. There were three options on the menu. She put an insert of this into the invitations and asked people to make their choices when they RSVP'ed.

Out of the few she had to chase up, one of them was her own father.. typically!!!

good tip! write on the back of everyone's place cards what meals they have ordered if you give a choice. initials will do. it not only reminds the guest, but is very helpful to the waiting staff too especially if people have been drinking!

In all the weddings I've ever been to, there has never been a choice of food.

You don't "order" food at a wedding, you eat what the hosts kindly give you.