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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be really angry at being called stuck up for going private?

79 replies

kiki22 · 13/08/2011 23:01

I've just found out a girl i work has being calling me a stuck up cow for going for a private scan and i think i'm better than most as NHS scans are not good enough for me... I'm so annoyed about it! I'm thinking about saying something to her as i think she is totally out of order.

I went for a private gender scan and am planning on another about 30+ weeks to get it in 3D, I feel it's well worth the money you have much more time to see everything, see it on a big screen, can have family with you and the machines are much better than our hospital we even got a dvd for the rest of the family which everyone has loved! This treat was for my 25th birthday the next will be a joint xmas pressie to each other i don't think thats stuck up at all just personal choice and the fact we have the money as we don't drink or go out much. Part of me thinks it's jealousy

Would you say something?

OP posts:

takethisonehereforastart · 13/08/2011 23:02

How did you find out what she had said?

thisisyesterday · 13/08/2011 23:04

no i wouldn't say anything. her opinion shouldn't matter to you, it's just a girl you work with... doesn't matter what she thinks does it

Original poster

kiki22 · 13/08/2011 23:05

in an email a good friend got so i know she did actually say it to a good few people not just from word of mouth

OP posts:

suburbophobe · 13/08/2011 23:05

Don't let it get you down! You are doing what you think is best, she's just jealous....

squeakytoy · 13/08/2011 23:06

The good friend isnt really a good friend you know.. she is a shit stirrer.

Chynah · 13/08/2011 23:06

Why do you actually care? I had loads of scans/treatments both private and NHS and as long as it benefitted me and DC I couldn't care less. You will find as a mother that people are overly ready to comment on/criticise your choices whatever - take some time to toughen up

suburbophobe · 13/08/2011 23:07

And, rise above it, don't get hung up on email chat&bitch.!!

BaronessBomburst · 13/08/2011 23:07

But won't everyone she tells just think that she's being a twat? Her comments reflect on her, not on you.

Original poster

kiki22 · 13/08/2011 23:08

she is a very good friend only reason she showed me was because i'd heard from other ppl and girl in question has told at least 10 people and didn't think it was fair for everyone to be talking about me without being able to defend myself.

OP posts:

hester · 13/08/2011 23:09

Just ignore her. You have a lifetime ahead of enduring stupid people making uninformed comments about your personal choices... you can choose which ones you rise to, and she definitely doesn't sound worth the hassle.

Have a lovely scan and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

oldraver · 13/08/2011 23:09

Well I assume you have had the normal NHS scans anyway so how can she say your 'stck up'. Lots of people have extra private scans for different reasons

worraliberty · 13/08/2011 23:09

Why do you think she's jealous? Is she pregnant too?

I think the 3D scans look 'eery' sort of but each to their own.

I don't see why her opinion or anyone else's should matter to you?

Original poster

kiki22 · 13/08/2011 23:15

think it may be jealous because she was really wound up when she realised i would get 2 NHS scans when she only got 1 this was an NHS choice, she calls our boss stuck up because she has a beautiful house (it honestly is like a show home) and another girl stuck up because she was goin to Mexico on holiday and in her words 'can she not just go to spain like everyone else'

Her opinion doesn't matter but would love to tell her to shut up!

OP posts:

takethisonehereforastart · 13/08/2011 23:16

Don't rise to her bait then.

It sounds ridiculous anyway. I'm sure the people she is badmouthing you to just think she sounds petty and childish.

I know loads of people who went for private scans, mostly for reassurance after difficulties in previous pregnancies but some just out of pure excitement.

You know why you are doing it, she sounds jealous and childish, and you don't have to justify yourself to her. I doubt it would help change her mind anyway so just leave her to her jealous spitefulness and have fun showing off the scan pictures when you get them.

FabbyChic · 13/08/2011 23:17

Why did you advertise the fact you were spending money on a private scan? Was it to brag?

squeakytoy · 13/08/2011 23:18

She does sound very jealous. Sorry to assume your mate was a shit stirrer, but thats the way it sounded at first. However, no matter how many people this girl has voiced her opinion to, it doesnt mean that any of the other people agree with her anyway.

Just ignore her.

squeakytoy · 13/08/2011 23:19

Aw be fair Fabby, OP is having a baby, and is excited... it isnt bragging, it is just being excited about her pregnancy.

trixymalixy · 13/08/2011 23:20

She sounds awful! And very jealous of other people if they have something she doesn't. It is her probl, not yours.

Loads of people have private 3d scans these days. Just don't rise to it.

LoveBeingAtHomeOnMyOwn · 13/08/2011 23:21

No matter what you say it won't shut her up. No-one will take any notice of her they all know what she's like.

babeinthewood · 13/08/2011 23:22

I have private medical insurance, simply because it makes life easier, its not 'queue jumping' its paying for your own healthcare. When My husband broke his hand, he triggered another condition which required a further op once his hand had healed. If hed waited on the NHS we'd have had to wait 6 months + and he have been unable to work in that time. As it was we booked it privately and he was back to work 9 weeks after first breaking his hand.

Same with this, its a personal choice, some people just have nothing better to do than moan about other peoples lives. YANBU :-)

marriedinwhite · 13/08/2011 23:22

She shouldn't have said nasty things, your friend shouldn't have passed on the e-mail, you shouldn't have discussed this at work in the first place. Sorry to sound harsh but this is a very private matter both from the pregnancy perspective and the fact that you could afford to have private scans and it shouldn't have been taken to work or anywhere else for that matter. I had dd privately - didn't actually discuss it with anyone though.

worraliberty · 13/08/2011 23:24

Jesus, 10 people are talking about you and your scan...do you work for the council or something?

Just ignore them in the hope they'll actually get on and do some work....

cheekeymonkey · 13/08/2011 23:26

offs.Don't let the jealous bint ruin it for you, welcome to the world of sniffy jealous cows who can't have what you have. ( And I don't - still not jealous!)

superjobee · 13/08/2011 23:28

i had 2 nhs scans and if we didnt find out the sex we were going for a 3d gender scan they arent expensive so it cant be bragging she sounds like a jealous harpy if she calls everyone stuck up. i'd have a word with her tbh spiteful wee cow she sounds.

takethisonehereforastart · 13/08/2011 23:36

Why shouldn't the OP mention her scans at work though? My colleagues were all very interested in mine and keen to see the pictures. They asked to see them before I offered too, and were disappointed that I hadn't brought the picture in that day.

It is possible to have a normal conversation with colleagues and still get your work done. All the places I have worked have run better when the team get along well, and for that to happen they need to get to know each other a little bit and talk about something other than work once in awhile.

And the OP might have only told her colleagues about the scan because somebody asked. Not to boast but to give a civil answer to a question.

Because there's nothing like pregnancy for the whole world to assume they have the right to know every detail from you about it.

But even if the OP was just sharing without being asked because she is excited, that's no reason to accuse her of boasting or being stuck up.

This colleague sounds very jealous of everybody for whatever petty reason she can find but fortunately for the OP that must mean that they all know what she is like and set no store by her spiteful comments.

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