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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be really angry at being called stuck up for going private?

79 replies

kiki22 · 13/08/2011 23:01

I've just found out a girl i work has being calling me a stuck up cow for going for a private scan and i think i'm better than most as NHS scans are not good enough for me... I'm so annoyed about it! I'm thinking about saying something to her as i think she is totally out of order.

I went for a private gender scan and am planning on another about 30+ weeks to get it in 3D, I feel it's well worth the money you have much more time to see everything, see it on a big screen, can have family with you and the machines are much better than our hospital we even got a dvd for the rest of the family which everyone has loved! This treat was for my 25th birthday the next will be a joint xmas pressie to each other i don't think thats stuck up at all just personal choice and the fact we have the money as we don't drink or go out much. Part of me thinks it's jealousy

Would you say something?

OP posts:
Ormirian · 14/08/2011 12:13

Oh just let it go. It isn't that important. If she gets so het up about something so trivial so you really care what she thinks.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 14/08/2011 12:25

See I would play this all different .
I would say casually but only infront of the silly bint , That I was getting a Doula ,a nanny, a gardener,a dog walker.
How stressed I was by it all . The order from Harrods was going to be delayed . Then I had to find a maternity nanny .
How the villa I was going to book for christmas in Barbados was a pain because the staff only came for 12 hours and not 24. The cheff only left stuff to be reheated and there was not enough waiting staff .
Let her repeat all that with you sitting there with a smile on your face .

OTheHugeManatee · 14/08/2011 12:49

This is why the UK class system is so intractable: it's not even necessarily that people at the top of the pile want to keep others down, it's that people get all kinds of stick from their peers as well about 'having ideas above their station'. It's weird and messed up.

PattySimcox · 14/08/2011 13:19

wakeup Grin

OP as others have said this is reflecting badly on her and not you

AuntiePickleBottom · 14/08/2011 13:34

wakeupandsmellthecoffee...you forgot the wet nurse :p

op just ignore her, probably got nothing else better to do

Gillg57 · 14/08/2011 13:45

worraliberty - I fail to see the need for you to use this post for a sly and very ill-informed dig at council workers.

kiki22 - ignore her. It's not worth the stress. Put you and your baby first. Perhaps the 'friend' who told you could put her in her place instead :)

A1980 · 14/08/2011 16:46

Why on earth is is stuck up to pay for healthcare, takes the burden off the NHS if you can afford it, etc.

I have had so called friends like that at work. I used to say nothing but now I remark on it in such a way that it avoids confrontation. For example someone in the office I work at knew something that I had only told to one person. I had my suspicisons this girl I told couldn't be trusted but no proof. So over coffee I said to her, XYZ actually said thisn to me, how on earth did she know, I didn't really tell anyone. My colleageu went BRIGHT RED and looked at the floor. BUSTED!!!!! Grin I then let it drop. But she got my point.

TBH I would normally say don't say anything but she has no right and it's none of her business. I would get hold of the email she wrote from another friend and forward it to her from your inbox so that she knows you've seen it. Then say nothnig and be perfectly pleasant and normal to her! She'll get your point without you getting involved in a full confrontation and she'll prob be really embarassed.

On another note, your pregnancy scans are generally of no interest to anyone other than you, OH and your parents, etc. Why share that sort of info with the office at large. It's a matter for you but if there are bitcxhes in your office I would keep it to yourself.

WhereYouLeftIt · 14/08/2011 17:18

wakeupandsmellthecoffee Grin

kiki, your co-worker does sound as if she has a severe case of Inverted Snobbery. Does she sit at her desk with a catsbum face all day?

I'd be hard pushed, when she next, in your presence, accuses someone else of being stuck-up, not to say in as innocent a tone as I could manage, "But you think we all are, don't you?". And watch her squirm.

worraliberty · 14/08/2011 17:21

worraliberty - I fail to see the need for you to use this post for a sly and very ill-informed dig at council workers

Yeah was just a laugh though...you know that thing you do to avoid being a serious misery the whole time Grin

youarekidding · 14/08/2011 17:30

I had scans at 8weeks, 15 weeks, 20 weeks, 26 wks, 32 wks and 37 wks - all free. Grin

That was standard where I was PG and tbh if I had another I think 2 NHS scans wouldn't feel right so if I had the money would probably pay for more. It would feel weird for me not to have scans from 20 weeks until birth!!

YANBU to have the scans but YABU to worry what anyone else thinks.

Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy. Grin

Gillg57 · 14/08/2011 17:37

"Yeah was just a laugh though...you know that thing you do to avoid being a serious misery the whole time"

Well there's the point. It's just not funny.

Kytti · 14/08/2011 17:43

Ignore her, she sounds like a fool. Save your money for the baby though, much more fun once they pop out! lol Seriously, do what you like, it's your child.

worraliberty · 14/08/2011 17:46

Oh lighten up Gillg....what's funny to one person isn't necessarily funny to another. I accept that, but really there's no need to have a moan Grin

microfight · 14/08/2011 18:39

Really Wind her up by chatting to her about your decision to put your unborn childs name down for private school and other such things. That should wind her up Wink

youarekidding · 14/08/2011 19:28

micro Grin Now that's a good idea!!

scottishmummy · 14/08/2011 19:32

not worth the aggro.get used to folk having opinions on your business once youre a parent.dont sweat the wee stuff

Gillg57 · 15/08/2011 00:07

worraliberty - and what's funny to one person is just insulting to another. Nothing wrong with my sense of humour. As I say, you're just not funny.

chipmonkey · 15/08/2011 00:27

I have private healthcare and my IL's used to go on about it and how unnecessary it was. Until BIL almost died after being mis-diagnosed and only lived because he sought a private opinion!

kiki, she sounds like a jealous cow and don't think for a minute that anyone in work takes her seriously. And has for the Mexican comment! Imagine if Chrisopher Columbus had stayed in Spain like everyone else!Wink

Bubbaluv · 15/08/2011 01:28

I got a number of raised eyebrows from English aquaintances when they found out I was having my babies privately. They seemed to take it as some sort of national insult.
Some of them had lots more money than me and frankly I think they were taking the p*ss having thier babies on the NHS when they could easily pay for private care. Surely the NHS midwives have enough to do caring for everyone who can't afford private?

Bogeyface · 15/08/2011 02:22

Imagine if Chrisopher Columbus had stayed in Spain like everyone else!wink

OK.......

No bloody awful US kids TV shows (iCarly anyone?)
No war in Iraq
No Macdonalds - thinking of the size of my arse on that one!
No stroppy teens insisting on using "Ghetto" talk
No Trick or Treating
No kids who think you need to dial 911 instead of 999
No Power Rangers

I think CC should have got stuck in with the sangria! :o:o

Bubbaluv · 15/08/2011 06:28

Bogey - I'm trying to imagine what annoying German affectations kids might have? Grin

A1980 · 15/08/2011 09:26

Some of them had lots more money than me and frankly I think they were taking the pss having thier babies on the NHS when they could easily pay for private care*

Why is it taking the p i s s for the rich to use the NHS that they pay alot of money for via tax and NI bubbaluv?

Your rich friends presumably pay shed loads in NI that actually funds the NHS?! So why should they pay twice? The pay for the NHS via their taxes and then you think they should pay again?

What a strange attitude. Why should they pay twice for something because they can afford it?

Ephiny · 15/08/2011 10:13

Fully private maternity care can be a lot of money though, even people who can technically afford it might hesitate at spending that much when they've got a baby on the way. Even if you have private health insurance, maternity costs are often not covered at all unless you have a medical complication, and even then only in part.

I would like to go private for childbirth as I've heard too many awful stories about NHS care in the busy London hospitals - we could afford it but are not so wealthy that it would be a negligible cost, so I can't help wonder if I can justify it.

I'd never criticise anyone for choosing private care though, I find it very odd when people do that and I can only think it's based in jealousy. Quite right that it does take the burden off the NHS, so it's not harming anyone else, the opposite in fact.

thebeansmum · 15/08/2011 10:26

Just wait 'til you have to deal with playground politics!! Silly cow, ignore her, it's up to you.

LolaRennt · 15/08/2011 12:49

Bogey - I'm trying to imagine what annoying German affectations kids might have?

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