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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ear Piercing

96 replies

Connemara12 · 18/07/2011 15:42

Our daughter has asked to have hear ears pierced for her 4th birthday, which, based on our social and cultural norms, my husband and I are willing to allow our doctor to do at her next visit. I see this is a much-discussed topic on mumsnet. I am opposed to ear piercing in infants as an inhumane practice, in toddlers as unsafe and in children anywhere but in a doctor's office. Apart from the questions of safety and hygiene, aesthetically I think that small age-appropriate studs are pretty for little girls. Your thoughts?

OP posts:
Tanif · 18/07/2011 15:45

Hate it. I think it looks tacky and, no matter how much they want it, you're still consenting to have holes punched in your child for no good medical reason. My kids can wait until they're old enough to pay for it themselves and go to get the piercing done themselves without needing my consent. And I say this as someone who had her ears, bellybutton and lower lip pierced in her rebellious student youth!

NettoSuperstar · 18/07/2011 15:47

I like it.

StrandedBear · 18/07/2011 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BluddyMoFo · 18/07/2011 15:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ohnoudidnt · 18/07/2011 15:50

Looks nothing but cheap.

charleneanne · 18/07/2011 15:50

its wrong its child abuse as far as i am concerned

33goingon64 · 18/07/2011 15:51

Agree, earrings look awful on kids under 10 really, and especially at 4 years old. Isn't 4years technically still an infant anyway? I had mine done by choice when I was 16 and even then I was quite scared and found it painful. Do you really want your child to have a painful procedure for aesthetic reasons only?

Cyclebump · 18/07/2011 15:51

I had my ears done at five and my younger sister was four, my older sister was three when she had them done. It was actually my father who took us without telling my mum. We wore small studs. I really think it's one of those decisions that is completely down to the parents.

ihatecbeebies · 18/07/2011 15:51

I'd wait till she was a lot older, both dp and I have several piercings but would still make DS wait until he was a lot older, maybe about 12/13 for ears and 16 for anything else.

33goingon64 · 18/07/2011 15:53

I mean, how can you think it's inhumane in infants but ok for a 4 year old?

pregnantpause · 18/07/2011 15:54

At four I think she's too young to make this choice. Also, regardless of where you have it done; doctors office or otherwise, the piercing might get infected, a four year old is likely to play with them absent mindedly. Id wait a while.

ArtyJennie · 18/07/2011 15:56

BuddyMoFo surely you could have got dd the snails at least?? :)

I think 4 is too young. It looks a bit chavy imo. The recovery process is rather uncomfortable and it'll be tricky to stop her touching and maybe infecting them.

If you do get them done- keep a close eye to make sure she's not allergic to the studs (I was- both with gold and silver)

MrsGerardButler · 18/07/2011 15:56

Would a doctor do it? I can't imagine either asking my GP to do it or her agreeing to it. Just get it done at Claires like everyone else. Grin

alewVera · 18/07/2011 15:56

My daughter had hers done last summer (when she was 4), she wanted it done, so we had them done at the start of the summer holidays. She wears smalls studs to school, and doesn't wear them on days she has PE or swimming.
We were adamant that it would be her choice, and were honest with her from the start; that getting it done would hurt for a bit, and that she would not be able to wear them for certain activities.
I believe that at 4 a child knows what they want.
Also I do not believe in getting a babies ears pierced as that takes aware their option of choice.

charleneanne · 18/07/2011 16:02

ffs of course a 4 year old doesnt know what they really want i know a lot of people that had there ears pierced when young because they wanted them done and now they regret it and say they wished there parents had have said no

giveitago · 18/07/2011 16:03

Oh dear - probably the completely wrong forum.

I don't know what your cultural norms are.

Basically I have one asian parent and I had mine done in a deveoping country (whilst on hols there) when I was 4 - my mum's family thought my my mum had waited way tooo long. It wasn't done in a gp surgery and it wasn't done with a gun and I do remember it and it was actually fine. I had no view at the age of 4.

I grew up in the 70's and 80's and was gobsmacked at girls having to ask and then wait for piercings (then the norm was 16 years old) - they in turn were hugely jealous of my earrings. I had no view about my piercings.

First - I'd say don't be pressured by a 4 year old.

But also don't be pressured by some of the really odd views on mumsnet in that it's 'tacky', 'chavvy' or worse. My dad is as english as they get and back in the 1970's when I had mine done we lived in a very area - he had no view.

I don't see it as abuse.

Gotta say that when I see a european child with an ear piercing I do a bit of a double take. But so what.

Do not be influenced by either your 4 year old daughter or some of the really incredibly one sided views from supposedly a very middle class multicultural (ha ha) forum. Neither view would hold much weight with me.

FabbyChic · 18/07/2011 16:04

She is four years old, having her ears pierced is tantamount to actual bodily harm, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

alewVera · 18/07/2011 16:07

I don't feel in the slightest bit ashamed of myself for getting her ears pierced. My daughter and the parents of half the children in her class (girls and boys) obviously don't see it as abuse either.

thursday · 18/07/2011 16:10

why would a doctor poke holes in children for no medical purpose? for money i expect but still, wah???

i dont like it, i dont really care if it's culturally normal in some places, doesn't mean you have to do it. i'm glad it's becoming culturally abnormal to do it to young children here.

Cyclebump · 18/07/2011 16:10

'child abuse'? 'actual bodily harm'? I'm sorry but do you live in the real world? When people bandy those terms about over consensual ear piercing of a four-year-old it completely demeans real abuse.

[Runs off to report her parents for said 'abuse']

MugglesandLuna · 18/07/2011 16:11

Nasty and tacky IMO.

Original poster
Connemara12 · 18/07/2011 16:13

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings, Ladies. Most enlightening.

OP posts:
thursday · 18/07/2011 16:13

consensual? we take 4 yr olds consent for things now? i wouldnt label it child abuse, little extreme for me, but a 4 yr old can 'consent' to all sorts of things, doesn't mean its good for them. i dont believe it does a great deal of harm either, but as there are no benefits either i dont understand why anyone would.

TakeMeDrunkImHome · 18/07/2011 16:13

Don't think it is abuse but do think it is massively cheap and tacky looking on a child.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 18/07/2011 16:13

Hate it, looks horrible and cheap, totally unnecessary in a child of her age. Culturally normal is an excuse that doesn't hold water AFAIC.

Get her a spiderman suit or a bike or something. Leave things like that until she's old enough to make an informed decision.