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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ear Piercing

96 replies

Connemara12 · 18/07/2011 15:42

Our daughter has asked to have hear ears pierced for her 4th birthday, which, based on our social and cultural norms, my husband and I are willing to allow our doctor to do at her next visit. I see this is a much-discussed topic on mumsnet. I am opposed to ear piercing in infants as an inhumane practice, in toddlers as unsafe and in children anywhere but in a doctor's office. Apart from the questions of safety and hygiene, aesthetically I think that small age-appropriate studs are pretty for little girls. Your thoughts?

OP posts:

Fifis25StottieCakes · 18/07/2011 20:02

By the way dd3 banged her ear when she fell over. The earring got knocked into her ear. I left it for a day hopeing the swelling would go down but infact her ear doubled in size and blood was running down her back by the time i got to A&E. Believe me it was not a comfortable situation to be in and i was made well aware that i brought the situation on myself. Which by the way was true.

lazylula · 18/07/2011 20:12

From what i have been told by people who have lived in Spain, it is very common for babies ears to be pierced very soon after birth. I personally would not have a baby's ears pieced but if dd wanted them done at 5 I would consider it. I had mine done very young, and when I was a child it was very common for children to have their ears pierced. I certainly do not think it to be abuse.

VanillaRooibos · 18/07/2011 21:01

OP I know you can't say where you come from but I've never heard of a doctor piercing ears?!! Don't they have more important things to do, unless it's a private doctor?
Anyway no have to say not at all into earrings for children full stop. Tacky.
Also why are you allowing yourself to be swayed by a 4 year old, unless you really don't mind the earrings which you obviously don't

Dorje · 18/07/2011 21:41

I think culturally there are quite substantial differences between Britain and the rest of the EU.
I've lived and worked in Britain, and have observed that there is a puritanical, protestant, unadorned theme running in the UK that the rest of, mostly catholic, Europe doesn't 'get'.

I've noticed that English women don't wear much make up compared to European women and are are a lot less pulled together and less accessorised in their personal style.

This puritanical theme runs in the states as well, probably a result of, or a relic of the pilgrim fathers (and mothers, I presume, unless that was off the menu as well ). A sort of self righteous, dowdy plainness.

It's no surprise that most posters who are in favour of, or, at least less hysterical about, ear piercings on this thread have some experience of other cultures: Italy and Spain are mentioned; also Asia.

FWIW, the NHS does not operate outside the UK (and some might say it's going through a rough patch within the UK) and what anyone goes to a private doctor for is her own business - no resources are being lost to you by the OP taking her DD to her doctor, so no need to get any knickers in a twist...

I have to say describing this cosmetic, reversible procedure as abuse is extremely distasteful, and belittles those who have suffered real abuse.
It's just earrings

GwendolineMaryLacey · 18/07/2011 21:55

I don't know what being Catholic has to do with it. I'm Catholic and find piercing babies' ears horrible. I'm not Spanish, that's the difference.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 18/07/2011 21:58

And while we're on religion, why is it that a thread about circumcision is full of uproar, but ramming a needle through a newborn baby's ear isn't?

MoonGirl1981 · 18/07/2011 22:04

Tacky, tacky, tacky, tacky, tacky.

Sorry, but it looks minging on children. Really, really bad.

And it scars then for life. LIFE! At four she is too young to understand that!

justabigdisco · 18/07/2011 23:10

my goodness, I have NEVER heard of a doctor doing this???

alowVera · 18/07/2011 23:55

Scars them for life? Sorry it's a tiny hole in their ear.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 18/07/2011 23:57

It scars them for life if something goes wrong

My dd3 has got the scars

pingu2209 · 19/07/2011 00:08

Is your cultural and social norm to be a chav?

Fifis25StottieCakes · 19/07/2011 00:10

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Tryharder · 19/07/2011 00:24

My DH who's Gambian asked me the other day why I didn't take our DD (12 months) to get her ears pierced. All Gambian female babies have their ears pierced btw. I made a face like this: . I said it might be alright in The Gambia but here, it's tacky and chavvy. He said "is that what they say on mumsnet?" He knows me too well....

Lucyinthepie · 19/07/2011 09:07

In a previous job, dealing with parental complaints once they got beyond schools, this topic came up quite regularly. All I can say is, I had a file full of photos of what can go wrong with ear piercing, and based on that I wouldn't have a child's ears pierced. When children play, fall over, and have the usual mishaps of childhood, they are more likely to catch, bang or rip earrings, even studs. I dealt with parents wingeing because they didn't want their child to remove their ear-jewellery for PE. Saying that it was against their religion to remove earrings, even for an hour. They wanted their bloody heads tested.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 19/07/2011 09:36

Its worth checking with the school what te policy is aswell

We were not allowed to tape them up, they had to be completely removed. It doesnt take 6 weeks for them to heal, more like months.

DD1 and 2 missed 6 weeks of PE as i couldnt remove them, hence i got DD3 done at 2.5 thinking she is going to ask so i will do it now so i dont have to go through removing them at school.

That backfired and she just had scares and will probably not be able to get them done when she is older.

TheseThingsAreGoodThings · 19/07/2011 09:55

pingu2209 Tue 19-Jul-11 00:08:46

"Is your cultural and social norm to be a chav?"

Pingu that is just insulting and outrageous on so many levels

chinam · 19/07/2011 11:49

DD, age 6, got hers done yesterday. It's chav central in this house. Waits for SS to arrive and haul me off to face abuse charges

wigglesrock · 19/07/2011 12:29

chinam wanna borrow a fruitshoot?

strictlovingmum · 19/07/2011 12:45

Nothing "chav" or cheap about it, we had done our DD's whilst on holiday last year in Italy.
No chavs in Italy, they don't even understand the horrible word that is the "chav".
DD was 4 at the time, and now she wears small white gold studs with no stone, only during the school holidays.
It is not in our culture nor religion, but DD wanted to wear earrings when she saw her cousins and their friends over there wearing it.
Nothing wrong with it in my opinion, and no, I would certainly not classified anybody a "chav" least of all myself or my family.
What an awful word.

fedupofnamechanging · 19/07/2011 13:06

I think little studs look very pretty, but would not allow my daughter to get her ears pierced at 4 because of safety/hygiene reasons.

I think it should only be done when a child is of an age to make an informed choice, and I think it's awful to see babies with it. Don't their parents worry about them putting an earring out and swallowing it?

That said, it is not abuse and people who say it is should get a grip.

Dorje · 20/07/2011 04:19

Hear hear TheseThings: Pingu that's a offensive ad hominum comment and way out of order.

I'm not sure the lovely moniker 'chav' is used outside of the Uk TBH.
I've never heard it where I live.

Well, quite, Gwendoline "I'm Catholic and find piercing babies' ears horrible."
babies are one thing: 4 year olds another!

Ear piercing does not equal circumcision or genital mutilation / cutting... come on!

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