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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ear Piercing

96 replies

Connemara12 · 18/07/2011 15:42

Our daughter has asked to have hear ears pierced for her 4th birthday, which, based on our social and cultural norms, my husband and I are willing to allow our doctor to do at her next visit. I see this is a much-discussed topic on mumsnet. I am opposed to ear piercing in infants as an inhumane practice, in toddlers as unsafe and in children anywhere but in a doctor's office. Apart from the questions of safety and hygiene, aesthetically I think that small age-appropriate studs are pretty for little girls. Your thoughts?

OP posts:
gepublic · 18/07/2011 16:43

MooMooFarm: I actually have no idea when their body is legally theirs, I was just thinking of my precious babies as teenagers and getting all nostalgic and protective and stuff!

macdoodle · 18/07/2011 16:45

Your doctor will do it? Hmm Shock
I assume you're not in the UK?
COI am a GP

Spuddybean · 18/07/2011 16:48

i had my nose pierced at 13 (2 weeks before my 14 birthday) and my belly done at 15.

OpinionatedPlusSprogs · 18/07/2011 16:50

Tattooing a 4 year old would be illegal.

My daughter is having her ears pierced because she wants it and I don't view it as an unreasonable request.

Dorje · 18/07/2011 16:52

Wow, what a lot of use of the word abuse!! Shock

totally over the top judgy pants reactions here Grin Calm yerselves - it's hardly babyP

Now, I take it you aren't in the UK, Connemara, and aren't English?
Go right ahead and do whatever you think is right in the culture she's in. Small studs should be fine.

Dorje · 18/07/2011 16:53

BYW I spent my summers in Connemara - beautiful part of the world.

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 18/07/2011 16:57

What sort of doctor would pierce a child's ears? Not a proper doctor IMO!

Sorry but it is awful to see young children with earrings.

EricNorthmansMistressOfPotions · 18/07/2011 16:58

You know this is some kind of research project, right? This OP doesn't have a 4 year old who wants their ears pierced, if they do, I'll eat my hat Grin

Ladies...

MigratingCoconuts · 18/07/2011 17:11

that being the case Eric...lets squew the data a little.

No! I won't let my DD have her ears pierced until she is at least 19. My DS when he is 6 months annd I had my cat's done at 2 days. My DH's will be done at night when he is alseep and he is 44.

Thinking of doing the pet Boa but can't find its ears....

alewVera · 18/07/2011 17:18

Interesting debate this one.

I dont let my dd wear heals, I will not allow her to wear a skirt that does not cover her bum, or any other "adult styled" fashions, she is 5, she is fascinated by my tattoo, which I had post 18, she does not want one. She can always take her earrings out, which she does not want to do, you cannot remove a tattoo (easily).
Hw does this make me abusive or a push over?

MorelliOrRanger · 18/07/2011 17:21

There was a topic about this the other day.

IMO, 4 is too young to know what they want. My DD is 4 and today she didn't want to go to ballet oh and about 5 minutes later she did want to go to ballet so we went.

Tis very changable at that age. Also IMO, looks very tacky too.

OpinionatedPlusSprogs · 18/07/2011 17:23

If that's the case then what will be the conclusion of this research? That UK parents who pierce are seen as child abusers, or even worse, working class! (by mumsnet)

OP if this is a genuine question, then just do what you think is right for your child. It's hardly child abuse FFS!

LaurieFairyCake · 18/07/2011 17:30

A 4 year old wants their ear pierced in the same way they want fairies to be real.

It's for the parents, because it is a cultural norm as in this case or they think it enhances their child in some way (cute or whatever)

It is not my cultural norm so I am happy to say that I wouldn't want to enhance a 4 year old in any way either by piercing or make-up.

I personally think it's wrong to pierce a child for cuteness reasons - they are cute enough.

Nanny0gg · 18/07/2011 17:35

I don't know why people bother to ask.
Has anyone actually ever changed their view? You either like them on small children or you don't.
As it happens, I don't, but that won't change anyone's mind on here.

coccyx · 18/07/2011 17:38

Yuk Yuk. CHAVVY at that age

Dorje · 18/07/2011 17:43

MsChanandlerBong Mon 18-Jul-11 16:23:52

I'm still a bit gob smacked that a doctor would do this? On the NHS? Really?

No country except GB and NI have the NHS MSChandlerBong!! Grin

We have no such thing in where I'm from, and the GP is as good a place as any for getting a aseptic procedure done: makes the 70? fee worth it Smile

DrCoconut · 18/07/2011 18:26

I had mine done when I was about 2 (this was in 1979) and I'm really glad. I wouldn't have dared have them done later in life and I like earrings. The rest of the family and indeed the Italian jeweller who did it wondered why my mum had waited so long. It's a family tradition for girls to have their ears pierced. We're not Italian BTW, but Boots refused to do it. I don't think it looks tacky or chavvy as we certainly were not chavs. It is a decision for the parent(s) who know the child best.

Original poster
Connemara12 · 18/07/2011 19:00

As some have pointed out, kindly remember that child abuse is a term for heinous acts against children, which some people on this thread may have been victims of. I do actually have a 4 year old, I am not in the UK and I posted because I am interested in opinions (personally, not as a student or otherwise) on parenting from outside of my own community.

OP posts:
AyeAvast · 18/07/2011 19:29

You say it's for cultural/societal reasons, but what are they? Do people from X culture genuinely believe that pierced ears do this, that, or the other, or have people just done it for so long that it's become the norm, no real reason, but it can't be questioned?

TiggyD · 18/07/2011 19:34

If the child gets to 18 and decides that she doesn't want holes in her ears, she would be able to sue. She is unable to give permission and it's her body. It's also a fashion thing rather than a health thing.

HairyFrotter · 18/07/2011 19:39

I basically feel the same way as you OP. Once they are old enough to understand the pain I don't see a problem and do think it looks pretty.

GnomeDePlume · 18/07/2011 19:42

IMO best not done until the child can look after them herself.

Fifis25StottieCakes · 18/07/2011 19:46

Not another ear piercing thread. The holidays are coming, holidays are coming.

Ive got 3 dd's. 1 and 2 no problems. dd3 aged 2.5 had to be put to sleep to have them removed after a horrendous stint in 2 a&e's. I was pro piercing, i am now anti ear piercing

HairyFrotter · 18/07/2011 19:47

But gnome if the parent is prepared to make sure they are kept clean then surely that's their business?

wigglesrock · 18/07/2011 19:52

Connemara getting knickers in a twist about piercing childrens ears is a peculiarly British thing, I have a 6 year old, she's asked me once ,I told her she can get it done next year but I'm not that bothered either way.

We were away on holiday last month in Spain, our 3 dds were the only children without their ears pierced, I personally don't find the Spanish particularly chavvy nor do I believe they are all child abusers Hmm