Have namechanged.
My DH has always been a bit of a spendthrift. We've never really had any savings as he spends everything. We have three children and I have always tried to budget. I meal plan each week. He then decides he doesn't fancy what we're having for tea and goes to the shop and spends £20. Some weeks we probably spend in excess of £80 over budget because of his spending. He won't save up to do things to the house, he just buys things regardless. He was obsessed with getting a new sofa and as soon as we'd paid off our existing one (which is fine) he ordered another one. He insisted on having our living room ceiling re-plastered without saving up for it, so now we are £500 down.
He does shooting and had an expensive gun. A few months ago he decided to buy another expensive gun and said he would sell his old one. He never sold it and has decided not to sell it even though he doesn't use it. He got a dog to take shooting recently and spent over £700 getting the dog, and equipment for it, and things like vaccinations.
The thing is, he doesn't earn enough to sustain this spending. We already got into lots of debt before because of his spending and we got straight about 2 years ago and now I am finding credit card bills that have been run up again. His job is temporary and he won't look for another job. He wants to earn lots of money (in his words) but won't do anything to achieve that. He has turned down 2 opportunities recently; one a permanent job and one to be a business partner in a friend's business (DH is in a trade and his trade would compliment his friend's trade). If I try to talk to him about getting another job or about our finances he either starts singing or does that type of talking people do when they're going off to sleep, with his eyes closed and all muttering and talking nonsense.
I work part time from home, but obviously the more we earn between us, the more he spends. It doesn't seem fair that I am shopping at Primark and charity shops for the kids and I, whilst he is spending hundreds of pounds on his hobbies, extra food from the shop, etc. Any money that I manage to get, he spends it. I made a couple of hundred quid doing boot sales with unwanted stuff we had, and he had mentally spent it before I'd got it, and sure enough it was spent straight away on stuff for decorating the living room. A family member gave me some money the other day to buy myself something to wear and DH straight away said "Oh you can put that in the spends pot in the kitchen", basically meaning I should spend it on milk, bread and school dinner money whilst he has a gun worth 1k sitting unused in his gun cabinet.
I think the problem is he has 2 friends that are also complete spendaholics. One spends regardless and has been made bankrupt before but he still spends and spends and just says he'll go bankrupt again one day. The other owns a business and probably earns a fair bit more than DH so obviously his spending power is going to be more. If he gets something, DH has to get it too.
AIBU to be highly pissed off?