Fuckerty fuckery Fuck. Be warned this thread contains shite

[Pumpernickel10]

AIBU to be pissed at myself that we have 1/4 of a roll of toilet paper( did shopping today and forgot bog paper)
what shall I do if we run out before tomorrow.

Kitchen roll/newspaper/cat?

Newspaper?

rag on a stick.

And DH does a massive dump in the morning so I'm very concerned

lol, wet wipes? kitchen roll?

Bidet.

water. Do like the muslims do. It's really fine :)

Pop next door?

My wedding dress?

Tissues ? Kitchen roll ? Wet wipes ? An old muslin ?. A friendly neighbour ? (not to actually wipe your arses on obviously. Just to borrow a loo roll from)

Babywipes or I can tell you my luxury babywipe recipe.
Use an old tupperwear box put in folded flannels or an old towel cut into squares, pour over hot water or cammomile tea if you have some and squirt in some baby bath or shampoo.
Luxury loo wipes.

Lots of shops still open send the DH out for some

Dock leaf?

I know this doesn't help you at all but I realised that I am actually a bit OCD about not running out of loo roll, there were about 30 rolls in the house when this occurred to me . If you can find a courier maybe I could send some over?

Do you have printer paper? Don't waste it though. Print out the comments section of a Daily Mail article and it will be a very satisfying experience.

Do you have kids? If so, how old are your kids? Tissue, wet wipes, panty liners, make up removing pads?

How about Not wiping- there's a novelty- just involves moe washing powder or higher machine temperature...
6 of one

Flannels would block my bog...don't fancy calling a plumber to fish out shitty flannels tbh

The shop near us is closed now
Dock leaf it is then

Don't put kitchen roll down the loo - it will block.

Can you just go all "continental" and use a jug of water and soap? (Or a bidet even?)

999 boak

My lovely neighbours send their children over almost every evening with various requests, the most memorable being, "got 'nee bog roll?"

I can't believe you think you are going to run out? We are obv tidy pooers in this house.

Just use your hands. One for front and one for back....then wash obviously...

Daily Mail?

Not that I'm suggesting you read the Mail

Sorry, I shouldn't have said that.

Dock leaf is an entirely sensible suggestion.