Fuckerty fuckery Fuck. Be warned this thread contains shite

[Pumpernickel10]

AIBU to be pissed at myself that we have 1/4 of a roll of toilet paper( did shopping today and forgot bog paper)
what shall I do if we run out before tomorrow.

Water in a jug. Rinse. That is what we do when holidaying in the middle east. Works well if you are without toilet paper.
Also, some guests of mine have been known to jump in and shower after a dump.....

Would do you do about the dampage? Hand towel is then necessary surely? Or do you stand there for ages with your pants down and drip dry? Or just get wet pants? Agree it seem a more hygienic approx than dry paper but surely drying off is an issue?

skirts and commando.

Ok, I suppose that could work, especially as you are less likely to be wearing skimpy shorts skirts in the middle east! Better just hope there are no sudden gusts of wind!

Take one bit of bog roll and tear a little hole in the middle. Keep the little bit that you remove, this is IMPORTANT.

After pooing, put finger through the hole and wigglt round your bum. Clean finger and repeat twenty times.

take the little piece from earlier (remember I said IMPORTANT), fold into a corner and use it to clean poo from under your nail

OldMacEIEIO eewwwwww!