to be bored with myself and to want to become a Jilly Cooper character for the winter?

[BalloonSlayer]

I want to sit in front of a fire of apple logs, wearing only a Dark Blue towel.

I want a rosy-cheeked face which I have to tone down with green foundation, instead of looking like a corpse unless I put on loads of blusher.

I want to drink three quarters of a bottle of Moet before doing ANYTHING. (Including: getting up in the morning or taking an important exam.)

I want an Absolutely Filthy Mini instead of a people carrier.

I want DH to do thumb exercises so that the ball of his thumb becomes pudgy because apparently that's sexy or something .

I want to lose loads and loads of weight every time I am a bit sad about something, so that everyone who thought I was a minger before is suddenly struck by my beauty, instead of eating cakes to cheer myself up and getting fatter.

AIBU?

[GhastlyandUgly]

OK I'm won over by this. Have never read any JC - which one shall I start with?

[laurely]

I DONT want to stuff my bush with leaves after having riotus sex outside.

I would like to waft around serving scrambled eggs for supper

I would stumble off sobbing if i was upset by some bounder/cad.

[BalloonSlayer]

What's the best way for a man to get a woman to fall in love with him?
a) Take her out for a nice romantic dinner, talk to her and hold her hand in a respectful manner
b) Tip or spray champagne on to any or all of her erogenous zones and lick it off
c) Trap her into playing a sadistic sex game which she will end up enjoying far more than he does much to his surprise

[notwavingjusthaunting]

How do you pay a bill?

a)Throw wads of cash down in an nonchalent manner without bothering to count it

b)Write a cheque and wonder whether the £100,000 overdraft has been called in yet?

c)Empty the jam jars in the cupboard of "housekeeping" and search for pound coins down the bag of the cat hair covered sofa?

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Question: Which of these character names is also the name of a village in Gloucestershire:

a) France-Lynch
b) Somerford-Keynes
c) Hermione Harefield

I screamed when I moved to Gloucestershire and saw Jilly Cooper character names dotted around on countryside signs.

[notwavingjusthaunting]

or "back" as we like to call it here. God I'm inane today

[weblette]

Got to be Riders, just such an ace book.

Embarrassingly I reckon JC would be my specialist subject on Mastermind

[GetOrfMoiLand]

screamed with laughter

[aquamortis]

weeping at this thread

also: I am very much enjoying Jump

[weblette]

notwaving, you missed off

d) have some rich bloke fall in love with you so such mundane things will never trouble you again

[notwavingjusthaunting]

What do you serve at dinner parties ?

a)Fabulous home cooked treats so that everyone will beg for the recipe

b) Jugged hair (not a typo - anyone tell me which dinner party that quip is from?)

c)Mousetrap and mouldy cheese and copious bottles of Krug

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Right.

Now all you Jilly freaks are in one place, PLEASE tell me I am not the only one who gets mightily pissed off at the typos in the books.

In Riders it is Lady Grania Pringle, in Polo it is Lady Gloria Pringle.

In Rivals it is Dame Enid Spink. In Appassionata it is Dame Edith.

[weblette]

d) Something rustled up by the divine Taggie

[aquamortis]

yes you have to start with Riders, it is very dated but it's essential that you start off by hating Rupert C-B

then you have the joy that is Rivals to follow

then is it Polo? also wonderful

basically you have to do them in chronological order if you want to avoid spoilers

[notwavingjusthaunting]

Jesus - I meant mousetrap and mouldy bread, not mouldy cheese.

[GetOrfMoiLand]

ME ME ME

Jugged hare was served at Hilary Spurling's dinner party in Riders, where Helen had cried off because she had just pranged Rupert's porsche because she saw naked photos of Podge.

[weblette]

Drives me nuts Getorf, and don;t forget when Kitty's hapless fiance changes from Keith to Kevin...

[aquamortis]

it's not the typos that annoy me GetOrf so much as the repetition of particular phrases of which she is obviously very proud



I don't mind that the wild garlic always reeks in springtime, or that the old man's beard in the hedgerow reminds us it is autumn, but it's when she has literary pretensions that I get annoyed, especially when she's nicked them

[notwavingjusthaunting]

Very good GetOrf

And Hilary was annoyed because she had to go to all the expense of giving a dinner party, and Rupert thought she was disgusting and slovenly (although it didn't stop him shagging her)

[BrainMash]

Where does the man who made husbands jealous fit in?

Haven't read my JC's for years but might have to start again tonight

[BalloonSlayer]

You can imagine her saying "Keith . . . Kevin . . . whatever . . . some ghastly common name beginning with K . . . doesn't matter, no one will notice"

[GetOrfMoiLand]

breastfeeding mums often have triangular tits, I find.

[weblette]

MWMHJ comes after Polo

[weblette]

[GetOrfMoiLand]

MHWHJ left me cold.

It came out when I was 16, I remember nearly crying with disappointment. There was nobody in it I liked, it was such a disappointment after Polo.