to be bored with myself and to want to become a Jilly Cooper character for the winter?

[BalloonSlayer]

I want to sit in front of a fire of apple logs, wearing only a Dark Blue towel.

I want a rosy-cheeked face which I have to tone down with green foundation, instead of looking like a corpse unless I put on loads of blusher.

I want to drink three quarters of a bottle of Moet before doing ANYTHING. (Including: getting up in the morning or taking an important exam.)

I want an Absolutely Filthy Mini instead of a people carrier.

I want DH to do thumb exercises so that the ball of his thumb becomes pudgy because apparently that's sexy or something .

I want to lose loads and loads of weight every time I am a bit sad about something, so that everyone who thought I was a minger before is suddenly struck by my beauty, instead of eating cakes to cheer myself up and getting fatter.

AIBU?

I want to look hot in jodphurs and canter around on horses, rather than hot and sweaty and spilling over my bike seat.

Careful your breeches aren't too tight they split showing your arse to the whole of Wembley.

Ah but that would be a very shapely arse though balloon, and you would of course be wearing nothing but Mantan underneath...

I'd like to tremble occasionally. Is ages since I had cause to tremble.

And I'm also taken by the idea of slapping on the dregs of a bottle of Arpege. Or reeking of Diorissimo. Or sex, come to think of it...

I want to carelessly throw plates in the washing up machine before glugging down some Moet and dashing out with my dogs.

I want to be lovely tall willowy Taggie with cloudy black hair and silver grey eyes

Forever though, not just for the winter.

LOL at Helen's friend Hilary with the triangular tits that's me too!

Wouldn't mind being Perdita either.

Reeking is such a Jilly Cooper word. Along with splayed and bush.

DH would love me to be Taggy (is it bad I was impressed he'd read Jilly when we met?!)

Ah, but I don't think Jilly even liked winter... As dear Daisy once said, the only good thing about Winter is being able to cover up one's spare tyres and hairy legs under lots of layers - and real log fires, but cleaning up the ashes is such a faff. I suppose if one had a treasure....

Oooooh, Rupert Campbell Black.....

Who was the lovely violinist with blonde curls like an angel, Baby something?
Must read them all again...

I want someone to pour me a Huge G&T.

I want to lie back on leather seats in a purring Jag.

I want to make appalling puns - "Now this is what I call hardcore prawn" as I spear a glistening pink crustacean with a fork bearing the ancient family crest.

seriously good punning there, olderandwider

("Clitoris allsorts" is my fave Jilly one)

Baby Spinosissimo was in Score twirly and he's a tenor, albeit it a bi one who was turned by the lovely Flora. And her puns are some of the best.

I want to seduce someone with my juddering arse as I whisk scrambled eggs.

I want to behave as badly as perdita macleod did and still shag two gorgeous brothers.

I want to be the type of person who only exists in Jillyworld who LOSES WEIGHT whilst stressed as opposed to putting on 2 stone (99% of which is biscuits and crisps)

I wanna be Taggie O Hara

And I want to go on holiday to the USA and find that over there they also drive filthy minis and eat sausage rolls at their millionaires' buffets.

Ah, thanks Weblette. I really do have some brushing up to do...

I will be an Evelyn Waugh person and find everyone simply tedious darling. And say to dh oh don't be silly darling, a lot.

And it's is all too sick-making

And be impossibly beautiful and young and bright.

I'd love to be as feckless as Maud, frolicking through life sounds jolly good fun tbh although I'd probably draw the line at Tony Baddingham. Now Bas on the other hand...yum

If dh wanted to drawl every now and then I wouldn't mind that either. Especially if he started the sentence by drawling 'Ker-rist' and finished it by putting his hand down my cleavage.

I want to get stuck into the gin on an empty stomach.

I want to be Taggie Campbell-Black. (Except that she was so devastated at not having children but, hey, Rupert must be some compensation)

I want my husband to arrive home by helicopter, the leaves whirring as it lands with its distinctive dark blue and gold colours.

IvantaOuiOui - HA! Your post made me laugh and then I looked at your name and I AM GOING TO GET SACKED.

Aym one of those characters who talks with a faux fake accent and wears too taight tops