On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

Happy weekend all. I've been lurking on this thread since NY as wasn't sure how dry Jan was going to go. I've surprised myself by finding it easier this year. Last time I did it was 2018. By Dec 2023 was at the stage of hating myself for how much I drank and not being able to remember the last booze free day.

So I thought I'd finally take the plunge and post. It's actually very reassuring to realise how common an issue this is. In real life only my DH and one close friend know the extent of it. Which was typically minimum 1 bottle of wine a day, but towards the end of 2023 I was finding that was never enough. My tolerance was so high I felt sober after the first bottle, so more frequently had a fair bit more then felt hideous in the mornings.

My issue is moderation. I'm very much an all or nothing person. So I doubt my ability to let myself have 'just the one' and not slide straight back to where I was. The answers might be never to drink at home as that is my main issue, I usually have too much social embarrassment to overdrink out in company (but then I would pre-drink before meeting friends as I knew their drink ordering pace would frustrate me - another red flag)

I do think I am a functioning alcoholic although not a label I would admit to anywhere but here. I've never had to drink in the morning, and it's never affected my work (in a way anyone would notice - only in feeling shit) but would never get past late afternoon/cooking dinner without cracking open a bottle.

Well done on everyone's progress so far. I hope to continue beyond Jan with you. I'm not sure for how long, but have no events that will throw me off like I used to (social life ain't what it used to be) and DP is also with me on this journey for now which helps massively. I will find it much harder if he starts again.

Good news that dry January is going well for you this year @0C2H5OH . I love your username, very apt!

@Tilllly I'm so sorry.

Day 3 and I had a panic attack in the supermarket. I don’t think I’ve shopped sober in years, and suddenly it was so overwhelmingly peopley I had to leave 😬 No alcohol was bought though.

Thank you @Hohofortherobbers and others

Oh @sixthvestibule you poor love, how awful

Perhaps shop at quieter times for a while

I've felt panicked in supermarkets

Out for dinner with DH tonight and there were lots of cocktails and lovely wine pairings on offer. But we had a mocktail each (rhubarb and lingonberry, absolutely gorgeous) and then drank water. I could really concentrate on the delicious food and not fretting about whether the waitress was coming to top my glass up. Feeling proud.

@afaloren you should feel proud, that's brilliant. Well done.
@sixthvestibule hope you're ok. I often walk in supermarkets, then walk back out. I don't think it's a panic attack but I often feeling like running and running....
Well done on Day 3 and not buying any alcohol.

Thanks for all your positive comments regarding my tally of 3 bottles this month. I wasn't sure if it was good or not - my head's all over the place atm. But, if I only have 1 more bottle ( Friday), then it's averaging 1 a week, so, yes, it is good !

Yesterday I didn't drink. My granddaughters came so in between nursing the newborn and doing science experiments with the eldest, I was a busy bee. No alcohol needed anyway.

Today I have a choice. Go food shopping and end up buying wine or stay in, get the house sorted for the week ahead and feel good tomorrow.
I'm staying in !

Morning all, another good night's sleep. Makes me wonder why I ever do drink...
So day 3 here. Got so much done yesterday, plus a good walk. Feel very positive. Less bloated. Only have a dinner on Tuesday evening that might be testing for me to stay AF, but I'm really working myself up to it. Have lost a couple of pounds too, which is encouraging. Really must fit into that T-shirt!

@afaloren it's a pity that I don't like mocktails, I find them too sweet, perhaps I should try another once. See if I can find one that I like.
@sixthvestibule I hate big shops, when working and still small children didn't have much choice, had to go, well before deliveries were possible and they can still remember me leaving them with a full trolly, having to rush to the loo. Now I go when it's quiet, even do a bit of on line shopping with pick-up at the drive through if not enough to get free delivery.
@0C2H5OH well done on dry January, you're doing really well.
@Amdone123 good choice!

Cold and crisp here, with quite a bit of snow, so lovely digestive walk planned for this afternoon. Daughter and granddaughter coming for lunch. I have a half bottle of wine left over from my sister's visit, threw most of it into meat that's cooking, daughter will finish it off, most probably. Otherwise the plug hole will enjoy it. I bet some WWs live down there to finish the dregs off, before popping back out to torment me.

Well folks! Hope you all have an excellent Sunday. Stay strong!

@Nowstrong i can’t really drink mocktails/cocktails either as they are so sweet. I can’t drink most soft drinks either for that reason!

@Amdone123 well done on only three bottles!

My sister ended up coming over last night so I did have half a bottle of wine. But AF tonight and this must be the first time in a long time that I only had half a bottle of wine over a whole week. Noticing the bloat reducing already, particularly the extra weight I carry on my belly between the bottom of my breasts and my waist.

Morning all. Today's post is all about tips and tricks to survive a night out off the booze or while moderating - hope it's helpful:

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/21/dry-january-21-tips-tricks-again/

I'm really noticing now how much better my sleep is too @Nowstrong . I woke up at 6.15 am this morning, and didn't want to go back to sleep so got up at my usual work-day get up time of 6.30 am. It feels so much better!

I'm also practising the piano again (having a new piece I really love is helping a lot there) and generally feeling more on top of things and positive.

Yes, stay home in the warm @Amdone123 ! That's what I love about this time of year - home really feels like home. Sounds like you had a lovely day with your granddaughters ❤

@Gemstonebeach that's great, half a bottle. That's my 🎯. I also feel so much better when I'm not drinking.
Dh has just suggested we go to the new supermarket but I've said I don't want to. I know I'd buy wine !

Well done @afaloren . It sounds like you’re doing so well. It must help that your DH is doing it with you?

On that note, we went for lunch with friends today and I deliberately drove so only had a couple. We’re home now and my bloody DH has left to go to a friends house for more drinks (because I don’t want any more). I was invited obviously but I find it’s not quite the same when you’re not on the same page. A little disappointing but I’m glad I’ve done what’s right for me and when I am marching off to the gym early tomorrow, I’ll be glad for it!

@Amdone123 Good excuse for hubby to do the shopping and you stay home and relax!

Glad to hear everyone is having a nice weekend. 😊

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I’m in the pub having my planned low-alcohol pint for the weekend (because I don’t want to tell my regular Sunday lunch buddies that I’m quitting yet - as that would be drawing attention to the fact that I have a problem with drinking). I’m enjoying it, but won’t want another. This feels good, even though it isn’t perfect yet 👍🏻

@sixthvestibule well done. It's not easy when you're surrounded by it. Stick to your plan - you can do this.

Thank you @Amdone123 . I haven’t had any more.

Ooh, if there had been wine in the house while DH and I were cooking dinner this evening I would have drunk it. But there wasn’t! So hey ho. Another day dry! Had the menu through for my delayed works Christmas do and that reminded me that I really want to stay off the booze all month apart from that.

I drank again last night - wanted a nice night in with a couple of drinks instead of a horrible night after a horrible day. I only had two though, and that's me done til at least Friday.

I woke up feeling OK and have been for a very windy long run and done some batch cooking for the week so all good!

I didn't go supermarket shopping. Dh did, asked me if I wanted anything, I said no.
I was having a lovely bubble bath and in he walks with a glass of wine !
He rarely buys it unless I ask.
What was good though was I only had 2 glasses, then tea.
So, pretty much my 🎯

Well done on only having the two glasses @Amdone123 !

Does your DH know why you didn't ask him to buy wine?

I still haven't mentioned to mine that I am doing dry January, or anything to do with alcohol. He must know though. All the white wine in the shed has gone now and he hasn't bought more (which is a good sign), see what happens when the red goes too...

3 weeks AF today. I think that matches my longest stint since I got that planner in August. Not great sleep last night - house too hot, but I cba to get up and sort it. I've got quite a good pattern of eating when at work but at home I'm definitely doing recreational eating, want to get a handle on that by February.

Morning! Day 4! Yes!

Didn't get much sleep last night, but what I did get was good. Did a lot of cooking yesterday, made lots of bugnes, fried dough strips, traditionally made here before carnival season. Made my place stink of frying, perhaps that spoilt my night's sleep, but were fun to make and even better to distribute to friends and family and enjoy tea with them (perhaps too much tea could also be the culprit). Will be doing a lot of airing today to get rid of the last whiffs.
More cooking today as belong to a group and we meet up around once a month and take turns to cook. Always keep it simple. So cooking vegetable soup for 15. Lots of peeling and prepping to keep me busy. Suits me fine. Might be a challenge to keep off the wine, but will do my best. Also simply the fact that I feel so much better without the poison might be encouraging. I'll be driving there with 2 other persons so I have a good excuse to keep to none or one.
Have another solo trip planned for the beginning of February, bit of adventure there, might be slightly outside my comfort zone, but hey ho, if I want to see the pyramids I have to make the effort. Definitively an AF holiday as I never drink when traveling on my own. One beer, or AF beer, at the max. So lots of things to organise and to look forward to.
That's all for today folks! Hope you all have a good one. Stay strong and sober!

@Coppergate7 thanks.
He knows I'm on a No Spend or Low Spend budget, so he was maybe thinking he would treat me. Usually when he asks if I want anything, I'll say yes, 2 bottles of wine 🤣.
I did hesitate when he asked ( I always do) and I did question my answer ( again, I always do). But the good thing is, he'd never buy 2. And he had a large glass too. So, I know I don't need 2 bottles!
3 weeks is brilliant, well done - 💯
@Nowstrong you sound very productive. I'm with you on day 4 ( as I don't count 2 glasses !).
Your trip sounds great and it's good that you don't drink when travelling solo - I wish I had your sense.

Yesterday's post was on coping strategies on abstaining / moderating when out and about - today's is about doing the same on home turf:

https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/22/dry-january-22-final-tips-tricks/

Having more AF time has made me realise that alcohol is so much more than just the day after…

I am sleeping so well at the moment, I worry a lot less, I have more energy and overall feeling a lot happier.

I also have a lunch this weekend with another boozy couple and for the first time in a while, I am not worried about it. I will have some drinks but I genuinely want to keep it at that, and I will!