On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat *2024*

[Swannyb]

@amdone123 @mj20 @touty @Hohofortherobbers @Coppergate7 @bigbus @colouringindoors @wellitywellness @Atacamadesert @Freezingfeetwarmheart @WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast @Hohofortherobbers @mickandrorty @Mykittensmittens @afaloren @NoTeaNoShade @CrackersCheeseNoWinePlease @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE @Needtokickthehabit @OhShitImNearly40 @Nowstrong @enoughisenough4

Afternoon all!
I'm alone again and can again get back to concentrating on being AF. Weight wise it won't do me any harm either, a kilo has slipped back on. I'm looking forward to regaining normal sleep patterns and not feeling so bloated. I think that my blood pressure has raised but I don't know if it was my sister or the vino, could be both. I have, however, gained the ability to nod and smile in agreement without trying to explain why she's talking BS. Will see how it is in a couple of days.

Went to the bottle bank this afternoon and was pleasantly surprised that there were not more bottles. Got rid of the proof anyway. 😉

So I am back to herb tea, AF beer and hot milk, but not necessarily in that order. Also a lot of walking. Hopefully the weather will stay dry for a few days, don't mind the cold but hate the rain.

Welcome to the newcomers and strength to those having a really shitty time.

Tilly, so sorry to hear this...

48 hours down and feeling fine, if a bit restless. Having a big mug of spicy tom yum soup on hand is working for me (imitating the whisky ‘burn’, perhaps).

So sorry to hear of the 💩 in everyone’s life, sympathies!

Another sober Friday night done! 👍🏻

Restless, boredom and just not knowing what to do with myself was the hardest bit for me... too tired, stroppy and grumpy to do anyone productive..... but it really has passed so fingers crossed

Very sorry to hear your news @Tilllly

@Freezingfeetwarmheart that all sounds ghastly and very distressing. My uncle is rapidly descending into dementia and told me the other day he has an appointment at the eye clinic at 2.30am and might still be there next weekend. He lives alone and won’t accept help. It’s nothing like as bad as your situation though!
@Tilllly sorry to hear about you cancer, that’s crappy. You’re amazing for being so positive in the face of such a challenge.

I am so sober on a Friday night. It’s a good thing. It’s also boring! But I’m going to bed to sleep so that’s good and I won’t feel crap in the morning.

I am sober! Been on an 8 mile run and cooked us a massive chilli, I did fancy a drink earlier but then just had to think about how I felt this morning to change my mind!

Hi all! After 25 days sober gave in today! Had a lovely day with hubby so decided tonight I wanted wine…. Had a bottle over the hours of 7-11 and feel fine! Bit cross that I’ve smoked but actually feel I drank in the right context and feel fine! Having a cuppa before bed and hoping I won’t feel hungover! Will report back in the morning!

hows everyone else doing xxx

@Tilllly am sorry to hear your news!

@afaloren first sober Friday here in a long time! I’m based in NZ and it’s 32 degrees here again today, all I want is a lovely chilled crisp white wine. But it hasn’t even been a week so I’m just not leaving the house so I can’t buy any wine.

Morning all, and newbies, hope you're all ok. I took a bit of time out to sort a few things but missed you all so here I am.
@Tilllly so sorry to hear your news. Sending you ❤️.

I've been ok really. Had 2 bad days, Tuesday and Wednesday when the craving was bad. So thankful I don't take my purse to work - really helps.
Drank champagne Thursday but nothing last night and I won't this weekend.
So far in January, I've had 2 x bottles of wine and 1 x champagne, so not too bad.
Weight is going down and I'm trying to not drown in January - roll on Summer.

I've had 2 nights with wine

Back on AF now

Thanks all for the support. Bastard cancer is no reason to drink alcohol tho - not seen any studies saying it kills cancer yet!!!

Morning all! Day 1 done (again) and slept SO well. So that has really motivated me to continue for as long as possible. Also want to get into a specific t-shirt (just to prove that I can).

@Tilllly so sorry about your health news, wishing you all the best. 💪💟
To everyone : hope you have a good day. Onwards and upwards.

I struggled this week - work was unexpectedly busy and stressful. Long story short, I had two bottles of wine with DH last night (so one bottle each) and I’m not really hungover, but slept terribly, had anxiety which I couldn’t settle, and I’m bloated and tired. I know one bottle isn’t heaps but I’ve decided it is now too much for me.

@Amdone123 and @Bigbus we have all mentioned that we find it boring not drinking, but after this morning I’ve decided it’s not that boring and it is better than not feeling 100%!

@Gemstonebeach I am in Australia so I know that chilled white wine craving too! 😂

@Tilllly I am sorry to hear your news. Sending 🩷 & hugs.

So sorry to read your bad news @Tilllly . Good point about the AF, more important than ever to take care of yourself ❤

I found this week pretty easy on the AF - guess I'm used to it? DH and I even went out for a meal on Wednesday and then on to a gig. I've realised what REALLY helps is a place having good mocktails. That's twice now I've had a meal out in January, sober, and having two mocktails (then I swap to water/something else as I don't want more) made all the difference. So, I've now stocked up a bit at home in the soft drink department. I've also started having tea, which I'm enjoying too.

I've managed to make some small changes elsewhere, which I'm really pleased with and helps keep me motivated to keep going. I accept that it is these tiny changes that in time will add up to the big changes I want, and these tiny changes are way more likely to happen when I am AF.

@Amdone123 That is certainly a tiny amount for 20 days - I would get through that in two days typically. You're doing very well with the moderating - glad that you are being rewarded with the weight loss too!

Good luck getting into that T-Shirt @Nowstrong ! I'm pretty sure my sleep is better too - just waking once in the night typically rather than 2-3 times. I must put my fitbit back on so I can prove this.

Hope you enjoyed it @Mj20 ! Back to AF today?

@Freezingfeetwarmheart wow! Impressive! I would be on cloud 9 if I did that.

Well done on your Sober Friday @Gemstonebeach !

Sorry you struggled this week @Swannyb - at least you now know about the wine. No, one bottle doesn't sound like much (to a daily drinker) but I guess it is a lot when we're not used it - I would take it as a good sign. Hope you feel ok today and get chance to relax.

Morning all.
just caught up on everyone’s news!
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@Tilllly sorry to hear your news, and indeed A/f seems a positive change. Hope you’re feeling ok!

@Amdone123 in 20 days that really isn’t much at all! Well done you!!!!!

@Coppergate8 your doing so well!! What day are you? And what’s your long term intention!!

@Swannyb im with you! Feel dreadful this morning after the bottle of wine! Not hungover but I slept awfully and have low grade anxiety!
wish I hadn’t bothered now!!!!

which leads me to think.. is this a sign I should just be completely sober! I hate feeling this! Feel a bit lost on where to go next on my journey, all advice welcome!

hope everyone else is ok! Too may to tag xxxx

I think we get used to the after effects of alcohol
You don't realise you're sluggish and anxious etc because it becomes the norm

But then after some time off it, those after effects seem worse. They're not, you just got used to them

Hi - can I join you all? I’m doing dry January which we have done for several years but this year it’s really making me reevaluate whether I just crack open a bottle on 1st Feb. We drink far too often and I really associated it with end of the day relaxing, but I am struggling with perimenopausal insomnia. Drinking means I fall asleep but I am wide awake and madly anxious at 3am and I have been so much better the last few weeks. My husband picked up The Sober Diaries at the library for me (apparently he thought it was a novel and is not implying I’m a lush) and I identified so much with the author’s motivations for drinking and struggles when stopping. I don’t think a month off will actually stop me going straight back to a bottle between us on too many nights a week….

@Mj20 Thank you! I last drank on Dec 31st - so I've done 19 days sober now. I don't really know what my long term intention is. I definitely want to do dry January. I really don't think that is long enough though - I feel like I need a long stint AF before attempting drinking in moderation when out (not at home unless we have guests). I guess that is my true long term goal - to be able to do that consistently, and made the changes I want to make (100% habit and attitude). At the very least I think I need to stay AF in February.

Hello @Patchworksack and welcome 😊

I haven't drank any alcohol and I'm feeling a lot better. I was waking up at 4am - not doing that any more which is good. I can't just have one glass because it leads to two etc.

I've had a particularly stressful week because my dd who is severely disabled was injured by one of her carers. The person has been suspended but it's a massive worry for me. She's ok now - I went with her social worker to see her. But I managed to not reach for the wine.

If you ended up drinking, don't beat yourself up - I've been reading about it and apparently it has to do with neuroplasticity. Which means that it takes time for your brain to find new pathways and not revert to the existing ones.

One of the things that has held me back is this voice in the back of my mind which tells me life without expensive wine is boring. I'm working on it ...!

Passing on some tips and tricks again today....
https://wellitywellness.com/2024/01/20/dry-january-20-yet-more-tips-and-tricks/

I'm very much enjoying not waking up feeling bleurgh. Even if not hungover, it's the low level 'not quite right' feeling.

I think we get used to the after effects of alcohol
You don't realise you're sluggish and anxious etc because it becomes the norm

I think this is absolutely true! (And also made me realise just how often I was reaching for the painkillers, which would be adding to the assault on my liver.)

The other thing is not having to scroll back through pages/chapters in my Kindle, because I can't remember what I read last night, when I'd been drinking

I just wish the better sleep fairy would visit me! Still not happening for me.

@Mj20 DH and I shared one bottle Thursday and it was perfect. I want to do that once or twice a week and no more.

I also ordered a take away too last night because I was a bit drunk. So, not only did I waste money on that, I also ate way more than I wanted/needed (on top of the booze).

Being AF at the start of Jan has been so helpful. As @Tilllly has said, I forgot how much alcohol really does to the body.