On A Mission To Moderate or Absolutely Abstaining? Join us for encouragement, support and non - judgemental chat CONTINUED....

[Determineddoris]

Hi all,

Can't believe the last thread has already filled up!

Thank you to all of you for the incredible support shown in the last thread especially @amdone123.

Everyone is welcome! This is a safe, non judgmental space.

Sorry about my inability to tag everyone but if others can that would be great!

Morning all and welcome @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE
I slipped up again last night and AGAIN drank 1/2 bottle of wine, white this time. Of course the other half of the red wine had finished down the drain. The amount of alcohol my drain drinks is incredible. Talk about pouring money down the drain...
Anyway I agree with @Amdone123 that once I'm on a dry period it is easier to stick to it. Must hoist my big girl knickers up and give myself a good talking to and keep busy this evening.
I've got DCC and DGC coming for lunch today, have already baked a cake, so today will be busy and I'll most possibly be tired this evening and busy finishing up the tidying.
Very impressed with first aqua gym class yesterday. Intense. Was sweating away. Funnily enough had difficulty falling asleep last night, but I think that I have the WWW (white wine witch) to thank for that.
I think that I've found my source of anxiety. I'm doing a big solo trip next April and I think that as I haven't completely finalised all the ins and outs, it's bothering me. Will have to get my nose back into my travel guides and finalise it all. Once that's done I will see how I feel.
Weather is beautiful today. It has snowed so all is crisp and white. Very cold but lovely blue sky, dotted with a few white clouds.
Will do my AF best today and report back tomorrow. Also back to aqua gym tomorrow. I'll be fit if not completely AF, so at least that is good side of things.
Hope you all have a good day. I haven't tagged everyone, but you are ALL included. SSS (Stay Strong and Sober) my new motto 😉

Morning all!!!
welcome @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE thanks for sharing, and the advice you’ve had off @Amdone123 is fantastic!!! It sounds like with some support and practical tips you’ll do a fab job of redefining your relationship with alchol!!!

so update from me…. Yesterday was day 14….I decide to have a single mulled G and T last….. As I was decorating the tree! However after an hour of nursing the glass and drinking about a 1/4 I realised I Diddnt even want it so chucked it! Felt like a massive win!
so technically it’s back to day 1 but I’ll be kind and call it day 15 with half a Christmas drink 🤣

how’s everyone doing xxx

@Mj20 🤣 it is definitely day 15 !
Even if I'm on a roll and have a glass of wine - then stop - I still call it an af day because I haven't gotten wasted. So, well done on Day 15.
Interesting too that you weren't really enjoying it. I've been there, too. It's all in the mind 😬
@Nowstrong SSS - I'm loving it.
Great that you enjoyed the aqua classes. And get planning for that trip. I often have to sit and think about what's really bothering me - It's a great step forward in not just reaching for the wine.
@LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE working nights is a great help ! I start work at 4pm ( only for a few hours), and that's been helping me. By 8pm I'm too tired, so I've been saving it for weekend. It's better.
I walk a lot, my only interest really. I used to do zumba but it was affecting my knees. I don't like swimming but I know aqua classes etc would be easier on my knees. I love reading too and can spend all weekend reading and drinking tea.

Day 5 here, and another pound down. Yesterday was lovely - very relaxing but if I'm honest, a bit boring. I read, watched 2 films, did some housework, cooked, etc, but if I'd had any wine in, I would have drank it. This is why I don't have it in.

We won't do a Big Shop for Christmas. No way would we buy bottles of this n that - dh barely drinks anyway. I'll just buy my drinks when I need them, like I'm doing now really.

Sadly no fresh start 1st December for me - I knew it was unlikely when I first started thinking about drinking later at 3.30 pm on Friday. Had a fair amount on Friday night (kept waking up with a headache but Saturday was ok - managed to work all day on an optional task and enjoy it). Last night I didn't have any until 7.30 pm and stopped after 2 glasses just because I didn't want anymore.

The plan is no drinking until Friday now...which I know is easy to say at 10.30 am but harder to do at 6 pm...

@Coppergate7 just keep trying. At least you only had 2 last night. And you haven't done away with December moderating or anything - you still have a plan. You can do it.
You're right about the morning decisions, spot on. So many times I'm determined in the morning to have an af day, then come 3pm, the thoughts invade.

@Coppergate7 agreed, so much harder when the evening rolls round and the children are in bed and you are tired tired tired. However I don't think I can manage another night with poor sleep so kombucha it is. But it's tricky, because in my mind a glass of wine would settle me down and relax me.

I got DH to pick up some lavender bath salts on the supermarket shop today so going to try another bath.

I'm struggling today.
My mind was telling me if I dont drink today I can't until Friday, which seems a long way off.
Anyway, had a lovely bath, did my nails, face pack and I've eaten earlier than usual.
Just had a raspberry and pomegranate fruit tea, which was really nice.
I'm fine now. I think it was a bit of boredom, which has always been my biggest trigger.

That tea sounds lush. I like the strawberry and lemon one from Twinnings or the Sleepy Tea from Yorkshire tea.

I should try more fruit teas. I don't really like coffee, it gives me a headache. And keeps me awake. Hot chocolate I get fed up with - and tea I only drink in the morning really.
I'll try those you've suggested, thanks.

Sounds like you made some great decisions there @Amdone123 ! Lots of lovely things to do instead of drinking.

I wish I had a bath now! I rarely think this (took out the bath to have a large walk in shower/wet room instead) but it just sounds divine. Haven't had a bath in years.

I made poor decisions last night. As soon as I realised I didn't need to be in work until later today, that was it. I started on the wine just after 5 pm. No headache today as I was awake in the night for ages and drank several pints of water. Crap sleep though.

In a nutshell the reasons why I drink are exactly the same reasons why I shouldn't drink [like I do] and why it is keeping me where I don't want to be. I'm going to try and sit with this in honest refection this evening.

@Coppergate7 keep reflecting and you'll make headway into it. I know I do. The minute I want one, I ask myself why ? I've done that twice over the last few days. Answers were habit and boredom.

I couldn't live without a bath - I'm always in it. All I want for Xmas is Radox, as everything else - the fancy stuff - irritates me.

Day 6 and I got through the weekend 🎉. It wasn't dead easy but it wasn't hard either. I did struggle yesterday but I survived.

Also, I'm at my target weight as I'm another pound down, so I'm going to keep on going and lose a few more.

Thank you @Amdone123 and well done!!! For pushing through the struggle, for getting to six days and for losing the pound that puts you are your target weight (and all the other pounds that made that possible).

I had better start getting ready for work now...

Yes, to boredom and habit being the main cause. Going to tackle why I am bored tonight!

I'm tired now! Just checked my fitbit sleep and I was awake from 12.45 until about 3 am. Drinking copious amounts of water, going to the loo and having acid reflux. That wine was so not worth it. Zero interest in drinking now!

I'm going to try and post a drinking trigger/issue a day...

1. My feet (or at least one foot) at the end of the work day - so limited activity in the evening, boredom, drinking to get rid of the pain... I KNOW having a healthy diet and not drinking reduces inflammation (and of course losing weight helps too). I should make the effort to get the foot soak out and the spikey ball and some of the other gadgets I have...I've done this in the past and it really helped (as did not drinking for months on end and losing weight and going swimming/Pilates instead).

@Coppergate7 love that idea ! It will most definitely help you.
I hear you regarding it not being worth it. It makes you feel so rubbish, yet today I've convinced myself that I'm going to drink on Friday. But, I have said I'm going to have a takeaway too so at least I'll eat.
The struggle is real 😩

Hope you’ve all had a good start to the week. I’m only on 2 days AF in the last 7 and I was aiming for at least 3. My weekly units are down to 20 though so that’s a big drop from last week. I didn’t drink tonight, aiming to stay AF until Thursday as that’s my work Xmas party.

@VenturingOut80 overall, I think you're doing well.
You're only 1 day off your target and your units are down, which is really the bottom line. And a great idea to stay af til Thursday, that means you'll be nice and refreshed and have had a break. Great plan !

Day 7 here and woke up refreshed and well rested. It's only early but I'm an early riser !
Got lots to do today - decluttering to make way for the tree and toys. And I may tackle the kitchen. Maybe.

@Amdone123 congrats on the 7 day streak! I was AF last night and did not find it taxing - I think this is you lovely ladies in my phone!

I slept through the night last night which is a massive deal for me!

@VenturingOut80 agree with Anyone, it's an achievement even if it isn't exactly what you wanted.

Morning all! So... Sunday was a great entertainment success, not a very successful AF day though. Family arrived, everyone was cheerful (that's always good) and we had a lovely, chatty lunch, afterwards drinking tea and coffee and friends dropped in. So I spent the afternoon serving and drinking mint tea, coffee and wine. By the time everyone left I was tired and slightly tipsy. The group of WWs did bugger all to help me clear up. So I went to bed for a couple of hours. Got up, cleared everything away, put on the dishwasher and crashed back into bed again. Did sleep well, according to me, but not my Fitbit. Drowned myself drinking water all day yesterday. Hit the water sports with a vengeance.

Result : not feeling too bad about it all. Because Sunday was such a fun day. It would have been just as fun AF, but hey ho.
Positive side is that my weight is still dropping. Mostly because of the sport I presume, have also stopped eating bread, which I love.
My toyboy gentleman friend has invited me away for 4 days before Xmas to make up foir cutting short his visit the other day. Which is very nice of him. So it will be Xmas markets and mooching around. The hotel has an inside heated pool, so I might even keep-up my sporty side. Which will make a change from the obvious huge amount of bedroom sport that we will be having. He is a non drinker so my pre Xmas break will be totally AF. He's also staying with me for a couple of days next week, so my Xmas run up is going to be pretty easy alcohol wise. I'll most probably be knackered by all the sex too.

@Amdone123 well done on day 7! I'd sometimes love a bath but got rid of mine ages ago too. I'm also frequently questioning my "need" for a drink, it's rarely in the day, too busy, but I presume a hint of loneliness, boredom, wanting to numb a feeling that I can't quite put my finger on, are the triggers. Am working on my trip and my anxiety seems better. Have also discovered cocoa husks to make lovely smelling tea with. Am now experimenting adding diverse spices such as nutmeg, cinnamon, mint leaves, cardamom. Makes a pleasant change and smells delicious. @VenturingOut80 getting the weekly units down is good! Keep up the good work. @Coppergate7 I also have terrible reflux when drinking and don't sleep too well, it's never is worth it, I keep telling myself that, but I'm doing so much better now that I'm mainly abstaining. My weekly units have dropped tremendously and sometimes disappeared completely. @LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE that voice in your mind is the WW. In fact there are several of them. Beware, they are spewing nonsense.

Gosh I do waffle on. It's raining here again and nearly all the snow has melted. So it's pretty miserable. Hope you all have a good one and SSS!

@Nowstrong - that sounds like a lovely day, and now something special to look forward to too!

I rarely get acid reflux - it is a real sign that I've been pushing things too far. It was partly related to Stollen too (recently discovered it and love it but anything more than a small bit...) and trying other Christmas junk. The wine was ott though and definitely didn't help.

I had a good sleep last night! Hopefully it was enough to catch up.

Yes, the struggle is real @Amdone123 🤗. Good sign that the desire is on a future day more than the current one though.

Hi all. Sorry, I have been MIA for a little bit. I am so busy with work.

So, last week I only drank 2 days which is my ideal week however, I got absolutely wasted both times lol. On a positive note, it was all social and fun, so that is better than what it had been.

I decided I am going to be kind to myself for the next few weeks as we're going on a short trip soon and its the festive season and I have a few things booked in, but my goal is to finish the year with no hangovers and still try and keep to 2 - 3 days per week. I think that is fair!

@Amdone123 I am a little late I know, but congratulations on your grand baby. How is it all going?

@Mj20 over 2 weeks - well done! What is the long term goal (if you have one)?

@Nowstrong what is WW? I always thought it was weight watchers. Intrigued now!

@Swannyb definitely be kind , easy on yourself. It's a difficult time of the year. I think the limiting hangovers is a great approach though. See, for me, that means eating, not starting too early, not smoking too much, and drinking as much sparkling water during and before bed. All take headspace, but I can do that. So, thanks for the reminder.
Baby is beautiful thanks. All doing well - took 5 days to name her, but it's beautiful.
@Nowstrong your pre Xmas break sounds great. Maybe you can have a nice bath there, in between the sports 🤣.

Was AF free on Saturday, had a bottle and a bit of wine with a couple of beers on Sunday. Mild hangover caused by lack of sleep so couldn't do much meaningful work yesterday.

I find not having wine in the house works for me. I had a few beers last night but woke up feeling totally fresh this morning. I don't get a "buzz" off beer so I don't take it too far.

@LynnThese4reSEXPEOPLE WW is the Wine Witch. There are a whole bunch of them. White Wine Witch, Red Wine Witch and Sad Wine Witch..they also have a cousin, the Whisky Witch. You are now warned 😈

@WouldRatherBeAPieceOftToast yes, I remember you saying about the beer because I'm the same. Problem is I don't really enjoy it. But if I had a craving for wine, and bought beer, it might suffice. Might !
I don't have wine in either.