Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

I much prefer the mooncup but it is prime suspect in the mystery of the missing coil, and i can't be bothered with that saga again. Am back to tampons but wondering about giving reusable pads a go. I hate normal pads though so doubt they're much better. Totally agree with the pointlessness of periods though. I put up with the mirena coil sending me suicidal for far longer than i should have because despite feeling shitty i did like the freedom from periods. PCOS means i tend to get them every 6 weeks which was annoying when ttc but appreciated now, even though post coil they do try to make up for it with extra ming.

Have a horrid cold and fancy an afternoon nap but won't get one. Dd1 has a playdate so should have tried a bit harder to get dd2 invited on one too. Fail.

I did maths, English literature and French A levels Frouby and weirdly enjoyed maths the most even though i was probably better at the arts subjects. Still, it sounds like she's happy with her decision, and lovely to hear the extra time has helped so much.

Dd1 did her version of your teens' bedtime angst and accosted me on the way out to work about her friendship issues. Poor love, it's so hard to tell whether her perspective is skewed or not, but she's definitely feeling left out. Not sure if a word to the other parents would help or not. I doubt i have the whole story but there's probably some truth in there too.

Well done to the Day 12ers. I have failed again. But I had a bad day at work, with DP, etc. Only half an hour to go until -DD will start talking to me I can go to bed. FML.

Evening all

Very busy evening here. Fml. But finally managed to buy a saddle. Cost a bloody fortune (£850 🙈) but it's a thing of beauty. Saddle fitter 2 hours late, ended up fitting it with the car headlights and I still have to ride in it, but it looks good.

Fancy new burger place across from us had run out of burgers tonight so we ended up with a shitty domino's. Dh absolutely pissed as a fart. He rang as I was just about to set off to yard and asked to be dropped at pub on way, which I happily agreed to. Mainly because I knew saddle would be spendy and far better for him to be pissed as a fart to tell him how much 😂😂😂.

Not dry, had 3 cans of beer. But 5 fucking days fucking dry this week 😁😁😁😁.

I haven't missed it tbh. Have slept much better, coped with the period from hell and mate being ill and been super busy. Will be wet tomorrow as going out for a meal with friends but back to dry on monday.

DD did start talking to me, and playing me meaningful rap music. FML.

It helped me sober up, though and I ran out of gin

Saddle photo, Frouby??

Will get a photo tomorrow Dion, when I get it on her again. Have stashed it in dds room until I get my proper saddle cover tomorrow from the yard. It's beautiful, almost brand new and only been used for a couple of months and then the girl that had it couldn't use much as her horse was blowing up when tacked up, so saddler had to make a girth extender to get it on. They sell new for about £1500, and a decent second hand one will still set you back about £1000 so it's a bargain really. Had to negotiate to get it for £850 though, used a combination of pure cheek, charm and some reverse sales techniques, he started at £1100 🙈. Not paid for it yet, he says to try it over the weekend and double check I am happy then ring Sunday and either bring it back or pay.

Will be paying for it, it's so beautiful I will sell the pony first 😂😂😂. Not really, she played a blinder as well and stood kissing him while I was playing hard ball on price. 'Awww look, she really likes you cos you've brought a nice saddle for her, she doesn't usually give kisses out'. She does, she's a total tart with men.

Wanted a lovely lie in but dh woke me up at 6am going for a wee then fidgeting around. Sigh. Got loads to do anyway, friends coming later so house to clean, ds to get to indoor kayaking this afternoon and then got to get ready.

Had a good chat with my friend last night re her test results and ongoing investigations. She's very anxious understandably, but we had a good giggle and some dark humour cheered her up a bit. She said if she dies she doesn't have a funeral plan so worried who would pay for it. Told her not to worry, I will sort it, got a pick up and will get dh to knock together a box to shove her in, she can chose between a muckheap burial or a cremation in a burning bin. Or will train one of the ponies to pull a carriage and she can have a big fat gypsy funeral 🙈.

Morning. I hope everyone is Okay. Well done to everyone who is AF!!!.
Mil wanted to go home yesterday and she was worried about fil. So dh has taken her back and will stay to work for a week or so.
I have a bit of a small dilemma. I'm 31 today so I'm wondering how bad it would be if I had a small glass of bubbly (We can buy the tiny bottles at the coop) tonight with my dinner as I will be alone on my birthday for the first time since I was 16! (I have been with dh since I have been 16!). The added complication is 8 years ago my grandma (basically she brought me up she was like my mum) died on my birthday so I've hated my birthday ever since. After being estranged from my dad for years when he moved to devon when I was 11, we started talking recently and he is coming to see me and the kids tomorrow.
I hope everyone has a good day xx

Omg at £850 for a saddle, yes, let’s see it! Lol at negotiating techniques including flirty pony 😂

Happy birthday badgerblu. I think it’s up to you. Can you stop at one glass? Will it make you feel good or not?

Today is day 13 AF. Not remotely tempted. Slept for 8.5 hours last night but interestingly not as good or deep sleep as I have been having - I didn’t do my Calm meditation last night so wondering if that’s it?

Dionysa, sorry to hear about the rap 😂

We watched Lady & the tramp live action last night, it’s sooooo sweet! Dd and I want a puppy even more now but won’t as I can’t guarantee I will be at home to look after it and walk it. Shame!

Hope everyone has a good weekend

Happy birthday Badger!

I had a friend up from out of town last night so was decidedly not dry. I have always been in two minds about that one night this month, and I had thought was going to try and dry it, but changed my mind.
I feel OK really. Disappointed that I've broken my streak and will have to start again now, but I don't feel like it's game over. I can do the rest if the month dry and maybe add some extra days into December to make up for it.
It's probably fair t count the days in the month, isn't it? Rather than being back to Day 1?
Lazy day for me today. No-one feels like doing much so I'm just chilling with DS2.

It's probably fair t count the days in the month, isn't it? Rather than being back to Day 1

^^ This, a thousand times over, NC4. Especially when you've had so many AF days!

I can understand why you're fed up with yourself - but we're not aiming for total AF. We're trying to get back to 'normal' drinking, which means being able to drink sometimes.

Badger, happy birthday. Enjoy being so young! I wouldn't be able to stop at one small bottle - but you are stronger than I am, I think.

Frouby, your conversation with your friend sounds like the conversations I have with my family . managed not tell DD that I would dispose of her father in the black wheely bin when he drops dead

NC4, I agree with Dionysa- my app has an option for planned drinks, see photo, and that’s what you did. You’ve still had many AF days and we’re mostly aiming for moderating on this thread rather than total abstinence. I hope you had a good evening.

NC4 I'd be thrilled if I could manage a stretch of AF as you have done.
Don't beat yourself up. And you broke your AF to drink with a friend who maybe you don't see often which is absolutely acceptable. I hope you had a really good evening and enjoy chilling with DS2 today!

It’s true, I only see this friend a couple of times a year, and we managed to coax our other friend out too. We were a right trio in our teens but due to proximity and life getting in the way, I don’t think I’ve seen both of them together for a few years. Maybe five years actually?! So it was always a possibility I would skip that day out of the month.
I have absolutely no doubt if I hadn’t been going to the pub with them two I’d have been AF at home.

Happy birthday Badger! Like Dion said to NC4, we are not aiming for total abstinence on this thread so no judgment here if you want to celebrate your birthday with champagne, but equally if it'll make you feel rubbish it's best avoided.

Well i have done park run and snuck out for a swim while dd2 was at a party but then came back to party and had cheeky can of neckoil that was going begging. At least i stuck at the one. Though will have wine later. Have been better at sticking to 1/2 a bottle this week though. Friends have started commenting on weight loss too so that's good. Oh and dd2 appears to be able to read. Had not really done much practice with her as she's so tired after school but we had a bit of time just us this morning and she read four little books straight through plus "postman bear". I guess they are teaching something at school.

Looking forward to seeing frouby pony in bargain saddle.

Absolutely not dry. Struggling with various things, mostly DP related.

Lovely to hear about DD2 and the reading, Longest. I always felt guilty about DD and reading, as I put so much effort into DS and reading (making letters in mud, tracing them out on road signs etc - he was obsessed with reading when he was 3, and still is now he's nearly 18) and relatively little into hers as she's a neglected second child. She can evidently read Snapchat posts, though, so all is not lost.

I'm in her good books today, as I bought her a school coat in Urban Outfitters today. It was reduced from £76 to £20, so I'm feeling quite pleased. Her existing school coat had so many holes in it (and the lining was falling through them) that even I felt vaguely embarrassed by it.

NC4, you deserved your night out with special friends.

Happy birthday Badger. Did you have the fizz? No shame in it if you did, you are doing fantastically well.

Not dry, but fairly steady here. Friends came through and we went for lovely curry. Had 2 cans, 1.5 gins, 2 halfs of lager. So not horrendously bad. Feel stuffed though now. Had a coffee when we came home. Was lovely to see friends and they paid for the food as my birthday treat so that was nice! And I won £107 earlier on a free bet on 1 of my matched betting accounts that I couldnt lay off so pure profit and dh won £140 on a football bet so a fairly cheap day really considering.

Woo Frouby, well done on the bets! Glad you had a lovely post birthday curry too. Was dead tempted to open second bottle with dh and so was he but we were too lazy to go and the feeling passed- stuck kettle on instead. So will try waiting 5 mins as a technique in the future.

Dion - dd1 was a pita to teach to read but is a total bookworm now - she stung me for the Northern lights book yesterday and is giving it a good go. Dd2 is much more pliable with school stuff but i wonder if she has the same love of literature. By this age dd1 was constantly making me act out dreadful rainbow fairy and secret mermaid books. Dd2 still prefers a picture book and switches off a bit if i attempt anything longer. Dd2 is much more into music though, which pleases me!

How is your birthday going Badger? Hope you're all relaxed

Hello everyone.

Badger, I hope your birthday was good.

Frouby, result on the betting and dinner, it sounds like a lovely night.

Dionysa, sorry you’re struggling with dp stuff. 💐 lol at Snapchat reading dd

longest no second bottle is a win I think! As is half a bottle, that’s moderating.

Day 14 AF here and second weekend AF so I’m pleased. Slept for 8 hours last night and definitely slept better for doing a 10 minute Calm meditation before sleep. It’s like it switches off the chatter in my brain and lets me sleep. Lazy day reading the paper and planning Christmas food today - I like reading recipe books so it’s not a chore.

water you must be so pleased with 14 days AF, you are doing so well.

I felt OK this morning, period from hell seems to have finally slunk off thank fook. Been and rode in my new saddle and can report it's sooooo comfortable, about as secure as you can feel in a saddle, very well padded round my arse and had me sat in a much better position. BabyPony looked unimpressed with being ridden in the rain but felt a lot better and a lot more forward so am assuming it feels better for her as well.

Then been to chooks and me and dh barrowed a load of woodchip and bark into their run so they should feel better as well as have covered up the mud where we don't have slabs. Then got home nd cleaned Guinea pigs and pet pigeon out. The dog declined a walk though cos she does not do rain which saved me an hour anyway.

Dh slightly hungover and wants a shitty McDonald's for tea but have convinced him to try the new burger place instead I think, though ds and dd want McDonald's. Just going to jump in shower, get my pjs on and doss for an hour or 2! But quite relieved I am not stood cooking sunday dinner, am knackered now!

Forgot saddle pic

Ooh very flash frouby! Hope you persuade dh on the burger.

Didn't sleep brilliantly despite sticking at the 1/2 bottle. Have period too (early for me)- was dead ratty with the dc- and brewing a cold so kept choking. So took kids to see slightly pointless live action lion king film at the cheap cinema, had takeaway sushi and a lovely sunset lido swim. Piano soon then will cuddle up with a brew and watch his dark materials and David Attenborough if am not ready for bed by then. Watched the bizarre Prince Andrew interview last night- did anyone else?

Longest I watched on iplayer today, it was most bizarre! So misjudged.

Frouby, lovely saddle and sweet pony!

Was not going to post, but I am, because you will not judge.

Not AF.

Very much not AF.

All DP related.

Saddle pic is fab, Frouby. Baby Pony sounds so lovely.

Longest, did not watch the Prince A interview, but have heard so much that I now want to. However, DD is badgering me to watch I'm a Celebrity with her. I agreed, under the influence. WTF did I agree to? She says it involves "people eating bollocks".

She was pissed off with me earlier and tried stropping off to XH's, but he said he was busy and couldn't go there tonight. So now she realises she's stuck with me, she's turned all nice.

FML a million times over.

We do not judge Dionysa

Watching it also with dd...

No one judged here Dion.

Ended up with shitty McDonald's. God it's crap food isn't it. Dcs were excited about it so went with the flow. Regret it now though, am debating getting out of bed to make cheese and crackers, but dh will want some and I don't think there are many crackers. Fml.

There is also ice cream.....

Ah enjoy watching people eat bollocks with dd- it's quite nice she wants to watch telly with you. Sorry DP is causing you grief.

Piano lesson was nice - i love my piano teacher- but she was talking about all the knife crime round about and how she's worried for her ds's safety walking home from school and it did make me feel fuck this shit i am off to live in a cave by the sea.

Bff wants more help with job application stuff. Sigh. We fell out about this last year as she gets so needy about it all and i have limited capacity for it. But thinking back to last year i do feel calmer now, and more me. I think changing coil has been a good move if nothing else. Things better with dh too of only because we both recognise when he's crashing and what that means