Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

Cancer really is a bastard isn't it? My mum's best friend, who is also the mum of my friend who fell out with me, has just received a terminal diagnosis. It's just a horrible, cruel, condition.

Still no sign of DS and he's not answering my texts. I do tell myself he reminds me of some of the lads I knocked around with at 17 who were also shitbags and have turned out ok.

I just did an hour spin class followed by a 20 minute swim. I'm ruined 😂 I do feel better for it though. We'll not mention the pizza that's gone down the hatch while I was watching Corrie. I've earned that!

BadgerBlu so many days you've lost count! Well done

And well done to everyone else on the bus tonight!

Why is it teens only ever want a heart to heart at bedtime? DS can sod off if he pulls that one tonight.
I remember doing it to my mum too.

Jesus shocking week NC4 amazing you kept AF. Well done to Badger and Water too. Did I miss another AF star? ah frouby too and yes bastarding cancer. I hope your friend has better news than expected.

Thanks for all the commiserations on interview, you are right longest it takes a lot of energy and in this case 4 flights, 4 trains and 2 buses plus 2 and a half days off work. DH and colleagues super supportive and I got selected out of a big application pool which all kind of makes it worse. The fat lady hasn't sung yet and if I'm wrong I need to be free the week before Christmas which means I can't book any holiday or travel plans and whole family in limbo. Annoying. Results 'mid-November' so hopefully I can move on soon. It was a pretty unique opportunity and super niche so a bit of a one off but then again we never know what is around the corner so onwards... Thanks for your kindness, everyone.
I only managed 1 AF this week rather than the 4 I needed to keep up 15 AF days per month. Oh well. No crazy drinking so I guess that's something.

Morning all

aqua that all sounds very stressful. At least it's done with now. As you say the fat lady hasn't sung yet! The worst interview I ever had I was 100% I hadn't got it. Not least because one of the interviewers was a fairly recent ONS. And who I had told when they called the next day (after tracking me down via internal phones at work, I didn't know we worked for the same bank on the night, it was only the next morning) that it was definitely a ONS. And I definitely didn't realise he would be on the interview panel. Anyway I did get it. Even though I made a right balls up of it. The feedback was 'well you made a right balls up of 80% of the interview, you didn't demonstrate X,Y,Z. Alternated between arrogance and nervousness and looked terrified, but the 20% you did well at you absolutely smashed and we loved you. Especially when you told us at the end you had made a right mess of it and was going home to drink a bottle of wine and smoke 10 fags. You will fit right in'.

So fingers crossed for you.

Off to hairdressers today, yay. Love my hairdresser, she's fab. A really good hairdresser and as shrewd as fuck. The most affluent person I know outside of business. And she will tell you herself she made really good career choices, went hairdressing on cruise ships as a galmourous 22 year old, married a captain, had 4 dcs and then divorced him the instant she had proof of an affair. Kept the big house, bought him out of his share as soon as she could and had maintenance plus spousal maintenance for the last 20 years and the youngest is still only 14 so still a long time to go. Plus she worked her arse off as a hairdresser, owns her own salon plus 3 rental properties plus a holiday home abroad. She is as shrewd and as sharp as a tack, while coming across as a dizzy blonde hairdresser.

Then have a party for ds and open evening to be at for dd at the same time. Fml. Ine last night to be dry then will have kept my arse firmly on the 5 day bus.

Well done nc4!
Hope everyone is good this morning.
I have no idea why teens do it just as your about to go to bed. I had just taken my lovely tablet out of its case to take and was just lifting it when she burst in and that was it... dh fast asleep mil fast asleep and I was left to deal with it, bless her! I am also sure I counted the word like, six times in one sentence.
Hope everyone has a good day, it's raining here but I'm hoping dh takes mil out for the day so I can just have some peace.

My teenager does that too. Then she’s got it off her chest but I can’t sleep for worrying about whatever shes told me. At least they’re talking to us!

Leaving, you never know, maybe it’s not as bad as you think. Is there anything you can send to help? Like a note saying “I realised afterwards that I hadn’t told you I had xyz experience” - ignore if unhelpful.

Badgerblu you are doing so well.

Frouby ha ha at interview. I once had a ONS and had established that he worked for the council tax people. Next day I had to contest my council tax, called and was fairly sure it was him I got on the phone. I had to think of how to ask if it was him (don’t think I knew his name) so I was asking questions “were you in X pub on Wednesday night? And um, did you go back to a flat in Y road?” It was him and he let me have my council tax concession. Nearly prostitution 😂

Day 11 AF here. I have an interview later and CBA really but will go as I’ve said I will. But don’t care if I don’t get it. It’s pouring down here too and I need to drive for an hour so I’m not looking forward to that but never mind.

NC4 I hope your ds comes home soon and is ok.

Thanks Water. He came home at 12.30 last night, but just went straight to bed.
He's just come down and gone out again. Says he needs to work through everything in his head without me poking and prodding him.
He went to church last night, which has really made me cry for some reason. He knows he's fucked up and doesn't know how to fix it, I think.
Both my boys have rejected their catholic upbringing but DS1 turns back in times of crisis.

I guess you are going to need to hang tight until he wants to talk NC4 teenagers, god, I can't even imagine honestly.
Nice interview tale frouby love it.
water at "nearly prostitution". I was tempted by the 'I realized afterwards....' but I think it's too likely to be counterproductive.

Leaving, if you haven't heard yet you never know. I will keep my fingers crossed for you.

Aw NC4, it sounds like he is being self reflective, that's got to be a positive sign, even if it is a symptom of inner turmoil, bless him.

I won the toss so won't be AF tonight, sorry!

Haha longest me neither as I’m going to an embassy thing. Better half has a diplomatic function as part of his job and goes to two or three a week. I generally only go once, as much as I can deal with. Not AF that’s ridiculous.

Ooh fancy! Will you wear a ball gown and eat ferrero rocher?

Interview was so so, don’t care if I got it or not.

Terrible weather and traffic there and back, journey back took 2.5 hours and a poor young bloke ran into the back of me on the way back. His car is quite mashed up at the front while mine has a small dent, which doesn’t seem fair. Spoke to his dad and will probably agree that they get the dent out, no insurers involved. As he’s 23 I think that’s best. Texted him to check be was home ok and he thanked me for being so nice and so calm. Ahhh, they’re babies still really at 23. Enjoy your do Leaving!
NC4 💐

Sorry. Completely not AF.

Struggling to read, a bit, but PMSL at Frouby and the job interview with the ONS.

I have never had an ONS. I feel like a bit of a saddo now. DD was on about them yesterday, and is evidently planning to have lots of them. Part of me thought: noooooooo. Keep yourself for someone Special (which is what i have always done). Then another part of me thought: go for it. Because Special has turned out to be a bit shit.

Needless to say, I didn't offer her an opinion.

Leaving, I want to wear a ball gown and eat Ferrero Rocher too.

NC4, just hugs. Teenagers seem so easy, but they are such hard work. At least you can just strap a toddler into a car-seat and tell them that we're going to visit . Teenagers are just the same, but bigger and unmanageable.

Badger, my DD could use 'like' six times in the space of, like, six words. I try not to say anything.

Crossed with you, Water.
I had a similar experience with a young man ramming into the back of me. He was very upset. I said it all looked ok at my end, and he should forget it. I just thought about how I would feel if he were my DS... x

Evening all

Fuck me what a day. Was in hairdressers 3 hours, then half of our small town centre closed off as they are repairing flood damage and it took me 20 mins to get out when it normally takes 2. Was absolutely bloody freezing, couldn't get warm, picked ds up, fed chooks and got home, got ds changed and went to his school friends party. Then dd came, dh managed to get back in time and me and dd went to her school for 6th form open evening for 2 twatting hours.

Might have finally narrowed her A Levels down. She was doing Maths, French and either Eng lit or Drama. But she loves both lit and drama, so she thinks she's going to drop the Maths and do both of those with French. She doesn't love Maths, is very good at it but doesn't think she will enjoy the A level, but can do AS level as her enrichment subject.

She's a bit shocked as she always assumed she would do maths, but since she got her extra 25% time her essay based subjects have improved massively. And lit and drama compliment each other better than one of those and maths.

Completely thrown her though as she assumed she would do maths and french at degree level, but she is going to look at uni courses and see where she can combine French with either drama or literature. Or do a pure French degree maybe.

Dh was sulking when we got home (at 8.10pm) as it was late and he was hungry. Ffs. He got right royally told that if he was hungry and tired he should have made either the pasta that was in the fridge, beans on toast or walked over to the chipshop and stropping like a fucking child because I didn't have his dinner on the table like some fucking 50s housewife really wouldn't get him very far.

So have chucked beans on toast at him and told him to piss off to bed lol.

Still feel crappy. Still bleeding to death. Sick of fanny pads chapping my arse and sticking to my skin. Sick of cramps. Sigh sigh fucking sigh. If this is peri it can fuck off as well and will go on the mini pill.

Oh Frouby. Agree that peri can fuck off to the far side of fuck, then fuck off again some more. I tried the mini pill, but pills don't agree with me (they make me a bit psychopathic).

DP wanted to shag me earlier, but I had to say: "I'm STILL having a period. Sorry, mate." We took matters in hand, as it were - but what I really wanted was a good seeing to. Which could happen on one day every six months at this rate. We did manage a proper shag a couple of weeks ago, and he said: "I hope you're not going to have babies now". I said: "I'm too old". And lo, the next sodding two-week period arrived the following day.

I hate periods. What is the fucking point of them, once you have decided that you have done with pregnancy? That said, I discovered Lilets at the age of 45, so at least I don't have to put up with chappy pads.

Good luck with your DD's choices. My DD is choosing entirely Arts based subjects, though as XH and I are all Arts, I'm not surprised. We had her report yesterday, and she'll be lucky to pass a single science or even Maths at GCSE (am trying to reconcile this fact with the amount of money spent on her education). Still trying to work out sixth form school options with her. DS has also gone down the Arts route, though could easily have done the opposite. He's the only one in the family who is strong across the board.

I completely get the awfulness of the 50s housewife thing. But I'm a bit muddled as I would conform in a heartbeat if DP were to propose to me. He won't, obviously. But I'd be happy to iron his underwear and generally pander to his domestic needs, if only he would let me. FML.

We were discussing periods, and how annoying they are, on holiday. Given that the average woman wants two or three children, four or five if she’s really —mental— maternal, why do we have to have them every fucking month from the age of 12 to about 50?!
I count myself lucky that I’m not in the peri phase, but if my mum’s anything to go by I’ll be having sodding periods till I’m 55 or more.
I hate pads. Tampons all the way for me. Although I’ve booked for a new coil so hopefully that will do away with the fuckers for a few years. I’d forgotten how inconvenient they are. Much sympathy to you both Dion and Frouby

I am now remembering the failed attempt to insert a coil, NC4. It involved a very nice gynaecologist looking at my prolapsed post-childbirth anatomy and saying it might involve a GA, and might not be a success even then. I decided to stick with periods at that point. Rather regretting it now, though, given that I might as well consign myself to having an eternal period with a day or two in between. FFS and FML.

Also... I am Mrs Open when it comes to periods, not least because my DM was not. But DD gives me the Death Stare if I mention periods to her, which I do frequently... Apparently, it's "really cringe". When I mentioned Mooncups, she said I was to leave her bedroom and never return.

To be fair, she's got a point re Mooncups...

• Crossed with you, Water. I had a similar experience with a young man ramming into the back of me*.

Totally read this as relating to Water's ONS story
Even sober, my mind is a gutter apparently....

PMSL at the ramming misunderstanding. This is how I spent my afternoon.

I am sadly unable to use a Mooncup due to previously mentioned problems (i.e. it would drop straight out of me) so was hoping DD might pick up the Mooncup baton. It didn't look promising, I am sorry to say.

I had the same response from my dd too Dion. She also went in my underwear drawer robbing my trainer socks one day. Came down asking 'mum what's those diamond shaped things in your drawers in different colours?' Didn't have a scooby do what she was on about so sent her to bring me one.

Was a reusable fanny pad. Said 'oh it's a reusable fanny pad'. She squealed like a little piggy and launched it across the room. Serve her right for being nosey. Good job she didn't find my vibe 😂😂😂.

Wet and miserable here again today ffs. Day 2 of getting ds to a party and having to be somewhere else. Saddle fitter coming back, praying he has something for her. And hoping routes home don't start flooding. Fml.

Today is day 12 AF - 🌟 for me! And NC4 and badgerblu (sorry if I’ve missed anyone)

Pmsl at young man ramming misunderstanding 😂

Sorry about lack of shag Dionysa. Don’t go there with pay back on school fees compared to results, it is depressing because first you have to work out how much you’ve spent , not recommended! Ds loves to tell me it was a shit school and all a waste of money. Cheers matey, that makes all the sacrifices worth it 😂

Frouby, sounds like a plan re A levels. Dd was panicking last night as she has mocks next week and her art teacher is a bitch but dh and I between us helped her with a plan so hoping it'll be ok. She wants to do art A level so realises her mock result will count, hence panicking.