Wankerbastards and autumn weather, crunchy leaves, browning heather. We want crisp, cool days and crisp, cool wine, or beer or gin. But only a couple, as we smash moderatin'.

[Frouby]

Thread 8 for Tryers to be Dryers.

Join in for help and support and lots of laughs to reduce alcohol. Whatever you want to achieve with your alcohol intake, whether it's alcoholidays, dry days, less booze in general we are all in the same boat.

More threads floating around but I can't do clicky links. Just look for Wankerbastards and you will find us.

I’m catching up on Prince Andrew now. What a weird interview. It’s right it happened but I’m not sure it’s helped him much.

Luckily for me dd is more interested in having a pampering session on a sunday than watching b listers eat kangeroo bollocks this year 😂😂.

Dry last night because sunday.

Got bloody dh off work, he's coming to the end of the job and hates it but I hate him being at home in the week. He's just done the Death Shuffle downstairs in his manky dressing gown to get coffee and paracetamol because he's not very well. I would rather he just say I can't face it, taking a duvet day than put an elaborate sicknote in.

Still, am out most of the day. My dmum got a hospital appointment and am taking her. Sigh. It started off as a lift, then she wants me to come in with her for 10 minutes, then until she's on the ward and settled, then until she goes down to theatre. So will be an all day jobby I think. So dh can at least pick ds up if necessary.

It's for a test to see if she needs stents, she's had it done before a few years ago but getting worse symptoms now so needs investigating. My aunt will probably want to come as well, so will have the pair of them wittering away at me 😂😂😂.

That sounds like a stressful day Frouby, not made better by Deathbed DH.

Dion what's DP done/not done? I want to give that man a shake and tell him to start bloody appreciating the kind, funny woman he has.

I'm in for a cheery day too. I'm off to a workshop on 'Reporting suicide sensitively'. I do anyway but it's always good to go to these things, especially when there's a free lunch thrown in.

It's definitely not made better by DH being off. I can hear him moving about upstairs now, and the dog is sat crying for him ffs. I walk her, feed her, take her for her jabs, she woofs at me when she wants a wee and I am generally her slave. Yet it's dh she loves the best the traitor. Mainly because he titbits her and I don't and he's more comfortable to lay on.

Suicide course sounds interesting in a morbid way.

And of course it's a lovely day here today, would have been perfect for riding but obviously I won't get. And tomorrow BabyPony is having her first clip so I won't be able to ride in the morning because she can't get wet and our sand school is boggy and Wednesday morning she will be as fresh as fuck with the cold air on her newly clipped backside so I will just lunge her and turn her out to buck her brand off. Can't risk her trashing my new saddle 😂😂.

Man flu, ugh, can’t kill ‘em, sadly! 😂

Nc4 hope the course is ok. I think you're on day 17 today, well done

I’m on day 15 AF, feel good, slept well, just about to go off to see garage about car repair so that’s dull. Didn’t hear about the job so I’m pretty sure I didn’t get it but that’s ok, it was too far away really anyway.

I hope things went ok at the hospital Frouby.

To be fair i feel a bit man fluish myself, all choky and spluttery. Period aches and pains don't help.

Also having school drama with dd1, who seems to be falling out with everyone again. I know that from her perspective she feels left out and picked on, even bullied, but i also know she's probably quick to temper and lashing out so it is hard to know how skewed her side of the story might be - perhaps the others are avoiding her with good reason? Either way my pfb is hurting so i am too. Have even messaged one of the other mums to ask if we can have a chat over coffee to get her perspective and try and come up with a plan to help them resolve things. Which no doubt Mumsnet would say is a terrible idea but we used to get on ok and i get the impression she is avoiding me, and have suspected for a while it's something to do with the dc because i haven't to my knowledge done anything wrong. Anyway, she's not replied yet and am a bit nervous about it, and also need to take dd1 out for a heart to heart to find out what's what. Aiming for AF tonight though.

How’s everyone doing? Still not happening for me but I do want it to x

Hello,
Thank you all for the birthday wishes, I've had such a manic weekend.
I did have just one glass (it's one of the tiny tiny bottles) of fizz Saturday night when dcs were in bed, I wasn't bothered about having anymore and it lasted me an hour were before a whole bottle would be gone in 30 mins!, going to stay AF now for a while I think as I really wasn't bothered which is a good thing.
Sunday my dad came down to see us and funnily enough we had a McDonald's as well. Got all dcs bathed in bed etc except for dd1. We sat down to watch I'm a celeb, and we both feel asleep!.
In agony with my back and knee today as all the walking I did yesterday.
Hope everyone is okay and feeling good.

Well am dry. Because I didn't get back from the twatting hospital until 7.15pm. Dmum is fine, she doesn't have blocked arteries at all, her heart is strong and good and she is highly unlikely to have a heart attack.

So that's good. But it doesn't explain why she keeps having funny turns. But they definitely aren't angina attacks so that is something. I suspect panic attacks, which is what I have suspected for a while. Then she thinks she is having angina attacks so takes the spray which makes you feel funny and light headed so then feels even worse. She does have blocked stents in her neck which could cause strokes but she isn't having strokes because she has chest pains. So fuck knows.

Am dry though so that's good. Can also ride tomorrow and Wednesday as clipper woman coming Thursday and Friday now. So that's good as well.

Am bloody knackered though. Going to have a shower and go to bed.

Mums. They are a worry, aren’t they?
Are you back on the Mon-Fri bus now Frouby? I think I’m on day 17 which is pretty good going.
The course was good. A lot I knew, but they supported guidelines with research I’d not heard before, and there were some powerful speakers. I’ve definitely taken something away with me.
DS fluffed his interview for a new training provider though 😫 I had a horrible feeling he would as he was up most of the night. It was a phoner and his head just went.
Part of his dyspraxia is he really struggles with short term memory and processing. And of course his recent activity won’t have helped.
I’ve told him to request a face to face but he has to reapply first. I really feel for him.

Gonna be on the bus sun to thurs I hope NC.

Your poor ds, is he ok? At least he is trying. I think some young people self sabotage deliberately to avoid genuine failures.

Was not going to post because I'm such a failure but I am anyway.
DP again.
Will try to be coherent tomorrow.

Poor ds NC4. Well done, you are indeed day 17, which is amazing.

Dionysa you are not failing! Sorry about your dp.

Frouby, glad your Mum’s heart is ok, that’s something although the rest of it sounds a woory.

Badgerblu, one glass lasting an hour is moderating

About to do ten minutes of mindfulness then sleep. I have absolutely no desire to drink at all, I feel just out of the habit. Although ask me again on Friday...

Read this earlier this week which completely explains anxiety when stopping drinking, it seems obvious now I've read this

welldoing.org/article/alcohol-withdrawal-does-to-your-body

Sorry to hear about everyone's struggles. Group hug! Dd1 didn't help herself by being surly and disengaged with me, and a pita about helping me tidy up, but she's adamant reports are overblown and i had a good text chat with other mum that put things into perspective so feel a bit better. Not AF though. Was in bits by bedtime.

Checking in, day 16 AF here.

Afternoon all

Not sure if I will be dry tonight, have an overwhelming urge for a gin so might indulge especially as I am cooking a full roast. Having a coffee to try and stem it but it's not really working.

Nothing much to report. Went to ride this morning but BabyPony lost a shoe so couldn't. Blacksmith booked for tomorrow anyway so no major disaster.

Dh whinging about being ill at work. Sigh. Apparently take 2 paracetamol and man the fuck up wasn't the response he was looking for 🙈. Major issues with 11 year old nephew with autism and PAD I think it is. He's apparently being very violent and controlling with my dsis. But dsis won't or can't do what is probably inevitable and relinquish responsibility and ask SS to take him. It's been an escalating problem for years and he will eventually end up in care. He's wild, completely out of control, violent, hasn't had a school place for 4 years and is just an absolute nightmare. He's as big as dsis now and only going to get bigger and stronger. SS are useless, CAHMS even more useless and the police don't know 9to do. If he were dsis partner or older they have already said they would arrest and charge him but at 11 there isn't much they can do. Nightmare really, just hope it eventually ends with him being placed in a secure unit he is that bad. I don't see how else he is going to be kept safe.

Off to peel spuds and contemplate gin.

Oh that's really sad all round Frouby. It is so hard to deal with when a lot of it isn't their fault. When you have kids, you think if you just parent them properly they will turn out alright, but it doesn't really work like that.

I have been WFH today, but since my last gas bill it seems like an indulgence to put the heating on just for me, so I've been sat here under a blanket, with a hat, scarf and fingerless gloves on, like a right wally. i don't care. Anything to stay warm.

No urges too drink now - I think I'll go to Bod Combat this evening though, The exercise has dropped off a bit since weekend and that;s a class I want to get good at. I won't get good sat her in my hat and scarf though, will I?

Apols for shite typing. It's these daft gloves 😂

Omg NC4, put the heating on! It’s freezing! Self care I reckon, you would for anyone else 🙂

Frouby, that sounds very difficult, poor sister and nephew.

Feel worried as ds just phoned me, sounded very down but refused to talk. Or tell me what’s wrong, just monosyllabic. Doesn’t want me to go and get him, doesn’t want to talk so now I’m just sitting there fretting about him. Ah, since typing that his flat mate has called and said I should go up there so I am. Just as well I’m not drinking...will get ba k around midnight, it’s a 200 mile round trip, fingers crossed there’s no flooding in between here and there.

OMG I feel like I’ve been to a remote island and lost touch with you all!!

Hi everyone. I’m back!!

Lots happened with me but I’m still standing which is a positive I guess.

Af Friday. Wine sat. Wedding and lots of wine Sunday. Af Monday. Now wavering tonight.

Promise to catch up. Not had chance to read back. Will be back soon x

Nephew has been an ongoing emergency for about 3 years. I can't do anything to help. I can't have him here because of dd and ds and he also has a tendency to either bolt or smash things up so he's a liability. And a dangerous one at that.

The only people who he vaguely behaves for is my dniece and her partner. She is 10 years older than him with her own dcs. Her dcs have been placed on the Child at Risk register because of his outbursts and he is only supposed to be there when her partner is there as he behaves for him and he's a big, strong lad who can physically restrain him.

I feel sorry for my dsis, she has so much to cope with but she refuses to admit she can't cope, so minimises to SS and CAHMS.

I tend to stay out of it. She doesn't tell me half of it, I find out from my auntie and my other dsis. Am debating calling SS and telling them what I know but if it comes out that I called it will cause an epic shitstorm and I don't even know if SS will do anything as I know the police have made many reports about their concerns for dsis's safety. Ffs.

Anyhow, have a safe journey Water. Floods have more or less gone round south Yorkshire, motorways are all clear if that helps at all.

Managed to avoid the gin in the end. Dh came home, had a shower and went to bed cos he's dying of manflu. Came down and managed to scoff a huge roast dinner so it's obviously not affected his appetite. Will be dry tomorrow, taking dmum out for a pub tea but am driving and wont fancy one when I am home. And Thursday dd needs a lift home after dragonboating at 7pm so that might be my arse firmly on the 5 day bus!

Going to have a shower and watch Yorkshire Farm and then go to bed.

Yet another monstrous fail.

Longest, I feel for you. It cuts to the quick when something is hurting your child, especially (and, I know, unreasonably) your PFB. I'm glad you could have a chat with the other mum, though.

Frouby, I'm so sorry about your DN. It must be so hard for your DSis (which, of course, has a knock-on effect on all the family). I am no stranger to autism and the ripple effect. If it weren't for autism, XH and I would probably still be married.

NC4, those nails!!!! You are Ms Glam. I am in awe. My nails are suitable only for playing the piano and gardening. My heating is also off as DD is not here and I only switch it on when the DC are here, because money. We need to cuddle up together under a blanket of sobriety (or non-sobriety, in my case).

Flossie, you are doing better than I am.

Water, just ... how???

You’re very welcome to snuggle under my blanket Dion. The more the merrier. We can preserve heat and fossil fuels.
Body Combat was indeed warm. My poor muscles were killing after being tensed against the cold all day.

Bloody hell though.... I've just checked my app and apparently I've saved £100 quid this month on booze alone 😱

I'm now humming
🎵To either cut down on beer, or the kids new gear, it's a big decision in a town called malice🎵