endless waiting

[kckalli]

Hi all

Newbie here :-) We were approved for adoption a few months ago, and we are waiting for a match. Just wondering if there are any mums or mums to be on here going through the same thing / have somehow survived this stage without losing their sanity (too much)?
We have been given some profiles and expressed our interest but no match yet. We are awaiting our SW feedback from a meeting taking place next week about some other little ones who are up for adoption, but we are up against their foster carers and another prospective adopter. I'm struggling to think about / focus on anything else.

Hi @user1489179870

Really sorry to hear of your situation I have really struggled with this process and gone through despondent periods you describe. It’s awful

However we are now linked/matched. I have known others, including on this thread obviously, who have waited and waited but it does seem to eventually roll round.

Are you on link maker? If not you should be and should not be afraid to ask. SW should put you on this after 3 months but they don’t always initiate this. Our SW was very good and had no issue with signing us up to it but she didn’t even mention it until I asked about it.

There are so many children on link maker the odds of finding your match are so much higher...but local authorities seem content to just let children and adopters wait as they prefer to match in house. The odds of children matching your criteria in house may be rare. We were approved in May last year and we have NEVER been shown a profile from our LA. If it hadn’t been for link maker I believe we would not be any closer to having a family.

It also gives you the means to be more proactive...your SW might only be family finding for you briefly every couple of weeks whereas you could do it thoroughly every day. I hope you can be signed up to it.

for you and my fingers are crossed x

Thanks DashOfMagic
Not used the link maker but I think I will join and take a look. Thanks for the kind support, I think I’m just having a bad week and needed to vent. Did not feel like this last time around and got our DD within 5 months - approval to coming home to us. I think I just expected it to be the same this time around but clearly we were lucky last time.

Yes it sounds like different peoples experiences vary greatly. We know others who’ve had roughly the same timeline as us. Other friends of ours were pretty much handed a baby on the way out of training! In this thread I noticed most are the same as us where there is a long wait between linking and intros. I am sure we will all get there.... eventually! Hope your week improves and good luck with link maker x