Is it normal not to feel devastated after leaving DD at university just sad?

[Boxingshibes]

Taken dd up to university. Spent a day getting her here ( not able to drive physically) brought lots of stuff via 3 trains.
Yesterday bought bedding and kitchen stuff. Pretty stuff pillows/throws/ fairy lights etc
Today bought lots of food/ cleaning/ laundry stuff.
I'm now going home tomorrow.
I am sad, she is my eldest and I'm going to miss her loads. Her room will look odd though apparently all the dogs and cats are niw in her room so they know something.
But I'm not devastated or broken or crying?

I think it might be one of those milestones that you think will be a lot harder and more painful than it is.

I know it’s not the same cos she’s not moving out but my dd has just started secondary school and I expected to feel sad and nostalgic and scared to face the challenges of teenage years. But instead I’m so proud and excited for hopeful for this new phase in her life and the opportunities it will bring. I was the same when starting primary- not the tearful time i expected at all.

This is what parenting is, what we and they are built for. Nurturing them and raising them up and encouraging them through each new phase in their lives. We bring them up not to need us anymore. Or at least to need us in a different way. And if they make that transition successfully then we have done our job right.

Yes this was me 3 years ago, dropping the eldest at her halls of residence. The tears started unexpectedly and didn’t stop for a couple of days. Without sounding dramatic it hit me her childhood was over, I had huge waves of guilt of things I felt I got wrong, but also proud that as a single mum I must have done something right as she had achieved a university place. It was quite a time I had not foreseen being so emotional, upset, proud, in grief, excited for her, all the feelings!

It was poignant and I knew I would miss her lots, but I was mostly happy and excited for her.

She just gone off again to do her Masters and weirdly it's been a bit tougher for both of us but it's just a timing issue and we'll both be fine.

Omg I felt the same last year. Everyone asking me was I not devastated that she had moved so far away. All I could think of was how sad I would have been if she hadn’t got the grades to go where she wanted to go. My DD needs three A’s for her course and it was one course and the only uni she wanted. There was no plan B, well her plan B was to resit any A levels she didn’t get an A in and try again for the one course and one uni. She had eyed up a local college to do resits. Omg when she exceeded the three A”s I was so delighted. Imagine I had to look at her sad face at home resitting A levels.

I was sad, of course, it was the end of an era, and I missed him loads.
But devastated - no. And we soon got used to the new normal.

Why should anyone feel devastated at a perfectly normal parenting rite of passage? You have brought a child to young adulthood. This is their time to spread their wings. The cult of motherhood and it being all consuming to the point of devastation is not healthy.

I thought I was going to be devastated, I raised him on my own after all. My friends rallied around to ensure I had company for the days afterwards.

Didn’t hurt a bit, it was like releasing a little bird you have cared for and watching him fly. He looked so happy and eager I was happy seeing him go happy.

Sending him back after Christmas… was another kettle of fish…

My eldest joined the army in April, he passed out in July. Missing him obviously but not devastated – just really proud of the strong, independent, committed young man he has turned into.