What's the most WTF assumption you've heard about yourself.

[Motorwayview]

Mine is a hum dinger.
DH is significantly older than me - he is retired and I work PT. We have planned carefully so we were able to retire somewhere sunny. During our 35 years together he was a medium earner and I was the higher earner - his job was flexible for school drop offs/ pick ups ect. We have 2 adult DC and grandchildren.
He has joined a hobby group and last night they had a social evening so I went along.
Random woman - who was the wife of the organiser I found out later- " Well, you've landed on your feet - HIS children and ex wife must hate you " said very loudly in front of a group of people I don't really know.
I did put her straight , but WTF !

Same for me too. Mind you I think I must have a "resting arrogant face" as opposed to the usual "resting bitch face" because my mother told me that she had been on a bus when she saw me crossing a road and I apparently looked "so arrogant". Who knew it was possible to cross a road arrogantly?

WTF? 😲

Perhaps, but I was gobsmacked at the speed of her "reasoning".

Very frequently, that I am a vegetarian . I don’t go round shouting about my love of bacon but I don’t know why a lot of people assume I would be vegetarian!

A Mum at the school gates always asking me random questions about what I ate and what exercise I did, eventually asked how I kept so slim after so many kids, I picked my siblings up from school once a week youngest is 11 years younger I was 18 🤣 (one of 6)

Sorry wrong conversation

I have always been referred to as 'posh, snobby, up my own arse' and of course 'intimidating', just because I'm taller than average, slender but strong looking (years of weight training), blonde, reasonably attractive and speak precisely using big words with no accent.

My home style is minimalist and neutral with bright toning knick-knacks and flowers around the place to make it more aesthetically pleasing. I grew up in a council house and learned from my mother to keep a clean house so it was always immaculate even with 4 kids.

The speaking precisely was due to speech therapy as a young child for a horrendous stammer and I read a lot. The rest of my family have distinct accents from where we grew up.

You can imagine the reception I got from the mums at parent groups and at the school gate in deprived area we live in.

When a few did start to get to know me they professed shock that I was quite normal although I used to get quite upset that my kids would rarely get play dates reciprocated!

I actually got called a 'posh bitch' just recently and I'm in my 50's now.

My two favourites;

Being complimented on how good my English is by someone from the US who didn’t realise that being from Scotland meant I was a native speaker of English. They even told me that my English was almost as good as theirs!

I am a COO in tech (aka the most important person in the building apart from the CEO, not trying to be an arsehole) and somebody assumed I was an admin assistant/ receptionist once when I was the one in the room about to interview them. They assumed woman=coffee bringer, someone to flirt with, someone to basically disrespect. Imagine their horror when I told them that I was actually there to interview them and that someone would be in shortly with coffee. I also jokingly asked if they’d researched before the interview (if they had they’d have seen me on LinkedIn). The interview was quick.

Everyone has an accept. Even RP is an accent.

I used to be a volunteer car driver for the ambulance service taking people to hospital appointments. I was once told I wasn’t a bad driver for a woman.
I stopped the car and asked him would he like to walk! I don’t know who was more shocked at my response, me or him but he touched a nerve.

I was in hospital, admittedly looking very rough, and when a nurse walked in and she asked my husband if I was his mother!

During my finals I took to revising in the college library. On one occasion, feeling (and presumably looking) a bit stressed out, I left briefly to make myself a cup of tea. When I got back, someone had written in my notebook "Don't worry. Soon it will all be over and daddy will find you a nice job." My dad left school at 15. I was the first person in my family to do A-levels, let alone a degree.

12 years ago I was working in a kitchen and about to return to uni as a mature student (26 years old) after quitting the 1st time as that course wasn't for me. I had finally figured out what I wanted to do with my life, applied and got in. Turns out 1 of the guys I worked with, the same age as me had also got accepted to the same uni on a different course. This was great having someone to share the excitement with and the count down to starting.

We were talking about it 1 day as a shift leader come in to the kitchen to do a kitchen check. He heard us talking and said to me "oh you are going aswell are you, what are you doing, hair and beauty or something". Nothing against those careers, but the stereotyping and assumption really wound me up. I did kick off quite a bit, saying did you ask [male colleague name] if he is doing hair and beauty? Why would you assume that, just because i am female, they don't even do that as uni, do you think I am not capable of anything else as I am female, and saying it is a construction related course actually so the total opposite. The others said he was out of order and said he best leave so I could calm down. 12 years on it still annoys me that some men would put women in boxes this way, there is no way he would have jumped to any assumptions with my male colleague. I rest with the satisfaction that I likely earn double what he does now and also went on to do a masters. Not too shabby for a female

Another more light hearted assumption, I was a young mum and looked even younger than my age. At 22 I was living alone with my DD, had a knock at the door, answered with DD on my hip. He asked "are your parents home", I answered truthfully "no", cold caller left. Saved me the hassle getting rid of him 😂

Behind my back I got called a "preachy parent who makes others feel bad"
My child is terminally ill and I do my best just to get by day by day...... That one hurt.

OK, but is there any need to gloat?

I work from home as a writer / editor, pretty much full time. I’ve been doing this for 15 years since my kids were born but my partner’s mum and sisters seem to assume I’m a lady of leisure and the writing is a hobby.

Recently his mum was telling me how so and so had a lot of deadlines in their freelance job and I said, ‘Yes, know the feeling’ - and she said ‘But I mean real deadlines for paid work.’

I mean, what the actual … !!!

That because I’m a wheelchair user I don’t work. Window shopping in town in my lunch hour a few weeks ago. A random bloke came over and told me I was a lazy scrounger and words to the effect that I had a cheek spending tax payers’ money on ‘frivolous stuff’. I wheeled around, showed him my work lanyard and told him where to get off with his ableist assumptions. He couldn’t get away from me quick enough !!

Gloat? Can you explain how you came to that decision? Then I might explain how what I said was relevant to my comment and the assumptions made about me by my husband’s first wife. What I’ve said is the opposite of gloating had I provided more context. Then again, had I provided more context I’m sure I’d have been accused of boasting.

A long time ago a colleague of my husband said 'oh you're a lady of leisure' when he heard I had a toddler at home and wasn't working at the time. Needless to say, he didn't have children.

“Of course, you wouldn’t be with him if he didn’t earn so much money”. Announced to me by a rather pissed woman at a dinner party.
”Fuck off love, I earn as much as he does” rather stilted the conversation 🤣🤣🤣

A similar thing happened to me but in my case it was a string of tradesmen, working on my house, getting it ready for sale. The neighbours thought I was an escort despite the fact that a quick search of companies house would have shown that I was a Director of a local firm. People come up with all sorts of mad ideas when they see a woman living alone and doing well - it can’t possibly be just hard work.

Oh I am asked all the time if I work, or what my husband does for a living.

No one ever seems to assume I’m the one making the money. No one ever asks at all about my work actually.

My DH thinks it’s hilarious.

I can only imagine... I had a Bangladeshi partner with a Muslim name but I'm not, and it was eye-opening the things said to him as well as the number of times he was pulled into "random questioning" in border controls. I think it being a Muslim woman must be on another level.

One time while visiting my rural village at Christmas someone said to him "you must be a long way from home!" And he replied "merry Christmas to you too!" In his strong London accent.

People said some very weird stuff over the years.

I was quite tall at a young age and my mum was very petite and baby faced. We were out for dinner with my dad on holidays and the restaurant owner asked if we were sisters. We told her we were mother and daughter and she couldn't figure out which one of us was the mother. I was 14 and she was 36 🤣.

The same night a man came over trying to chat me up while my dad was at the bar. I hadn't a clue what to do and he turned green when mam told him I was 14. He thought I was around d 25 🤣

Dh car is 21 years old , mine is 15 . We dont wear designer clothes , look a bit scruffy .
Don't go on holidays oversees . We look poor as church mice , but we are not .