Misophonia (people eating near me)

[PixieFairySprite]

Does anyone have any tips to help with this?

I think I have had this problem all my life. I couldn't stand my sister eating near me as a child. She leans over her plate and shovels her food into her mouth, noisily. She still does this. I can remember finding it so strange that my mum was very hot on manners but seemed to overlook this. My mum taught me how to place a napkin onto my lap and eat a cake with a knife and I still do these things automatically. I eat with my mouth closed.

Anyway, I couldn't bear my exH being near me and eating, or in fact making any noises. He did used to say that he couldn't even breathe around me and it made me so sad because it's true. There is nothing wrong with his table manners.

I have been with my boyfriend now for 7 years and find I am now experiencing the same thing. We are now living together and very happy but I find myself making excuses when it comes to eating together. I adore him and would love nothing more than to sit and eat with him, which weirdly I had no problem with until recently. Again, there is nothing wrong with his table manners.

Is there any hope for me?

You're still here with no useful suggestions?

Do you see how other posters are actually offering helpful advise to me? Do you see how politely and grateful l I am replying to them. Try to be more like them.

Based on me not tolerating posters who has nothing useful to advise on MN.

Have you just joined MN today?

Misophonia is an emotional issue rather than a physical one. It often responds well to hypnotherapy.

No based on the ACTUAL THEORY.
the suggestion would be therapy to address it.

you can easily check how long posters have been on Mumsnet

Thank you. I do take all those supplements and get plenty of sleep.

It has been something I have had since childhood.

That's interesting. Did it work for you? Or someone you know? I would love to try this is it could help.

Bloody hell… don’t think I can recall an OP who’s come across as being more defensive and, well, oddly unpleasant than this one for some time!

I'm a remedial hypnotist so it's one of the things I work with. Like most things, and as you pointed out, it began in childhood when you didn't have the capacity to choose to ignore things that annoy you. Once your subconscious knows that there's no value in listening to other people eat you'll simply stop being aware of it.

'unresolved anger / anger processing.'

I wouldn't say I have those, no. I haven't read that anywhere.

Just need help and useful advise.

I have this and always have, if anything it’s gotten worse over the years. People chewing, coughing, sniffing make me want to rip my own head off and throw it in the bin, I even hate the sound of myself eating. I’m very aware that I am the unreasonable one. The only thing I can suggest is background noise and if I’m in the company of anyone with bad table manners (I have a friend who talks with her mouth full) I concentrate on my own plate and won’t make eye/face contact until the meals over .

Thank you, this is so helpful. I will look into this.

It’s basically one of the first things that comes up when you google “is misophobia real”
Being so unable to tolerate normal life- and getting so angry- does align with anger problems tbh. But if they’re unresolved you’re not aware of them yet.

Just look at your response to this and other posts

Your anger and intolerance is literally dripping off the page. About am very innocuous questions.

No, not at all. I am not an angry person at all.

Perhaps you could explain why you think your question: 'has he not noticed at all?' would help me?

I did reply that I think he has and then I asked how him noticing would help things?

Perhaps I misunderstood so let's try again.

@Baselpls I think he has noticed, yes. But I am not sure how this would help me with my problem?

I apologise if this came across badly but I just don't see how him noticing would help?

Other posters have given me some very useful advise.

“I adore him and would love nothing more than to sit and eat with him, which weirdly I had no problem with until recently”.

This may be something to become curious about, OP. You’ve been together for 7 years and presumably eaten many times together. Yet only when you move in together, this arises. Is there something about committing/sharing a space that triggers this? I agree with others that therapy could be useful to understand the triggers and how to build alternative associations. Good luck, it sounds terribly uncomfortable.

Just stop for a sec 😂 recalibrate, don’t jump
into saying you’re not.

unresolved anger isn’t about “being an angry person” in fact, someone who thinks they aren’t an angry person is a prime candidate to suffer from unresolved anger.
Anger is Completely normal emotion and some people are unable to process it.

dont you think it makes sense? You say you’re not an angry person but you’re getting unreasonably angry and frustrated by completely normal behaviour at mealtimes.

It’s impacting your life to a pretty great extent. Are you not curious about the emotional driver behind it?

Interesting. Thank you. Something for me to think about.

ugh, my ex would only exclusively eat noodles and spaghetti every single fucking day, knowing the sound of the slurping makes me want to tear my hair out. I have this very badly too. Crisp eating is awful.

I need to either put tv on/headphones or sometimes leave the room.

I wasn’t necessarily trying to “help” you with that one particular question. The answer would lead on to more conversation perhaps.

Instead you just got… rude

but actually your response to my post and others does indicate what you need to focus on . And is is much broader than simply misophonia

Why did you even crack on dating someone who only ate noodles and spaghetti?!

I am very interested in the emotional driver behind it.

Do you think I was angry that my parents did not speak to my sister about it? I do actually remember feeling surprised and yes, a bit annoyed, often that they didn't.

Okay, you are onto something... thank you.

This thread isn't about misophobia.

I'm just not sure why you asked it, really.