Just a rant: I absolutely fucking HATE weekends!

[canihavecanihave]

First thing on Saturday is my low point: all weekend yawning before me.

I feel like the whole two days are just an exhausting merry go round of trying to do stuff to fill time and entertain the kids (both under 5 so hopeful this may get better) to stop them arguing and destroying the house.

I know some people will say just to chill at home but if we ever try to do this it is so so stressful, they argue and make a mess everywhere.

Ugh.

You would love it if you worked full time... Kids or no kids.

Nope- when I had toddlers and worked FT I preferred being at work with no one crying and screaming and arguing and I could take a piss and drink my coffee in peace. 😂

That's quite sad. When my DC were little I counted hours when I could be with them all day.

The days are long - But the years go quickly.

I remember reading this when mine were young and thinking - Rubbish - some
days felt never ending and I couldn’t imagine it feeling any different. However mine are now 9 and 13 and I can honestly it’s gone by so quickly.

Not to imply that you should feel bad for your post or that it solves your current lul - Rant away (we all need it from time to time) - but just no it doesn’t last forever and hopefully they’ll be a time in the not to distant future when you genuinely look forward to the weekends again - I’m sure my kids think I’m the ‘needy’ one these days as they really are my fav people to spend time with.

Solidarity here OP. I have 5,3,3 year old sons and it's relentless from 5.30am until 8.30pm. I spend a lot of the day looking at the time and feel like I have done a whole shift and it's not even 9am yet. It's just a lot of time to fill. Boundless energy. They get cabin fever being at home. The garden is on a hill with patio at the bottom and so they still need to be supervised to not fall down it. so I might as well be in the park, where they only want to be pushed on the swing????? Like go climb something and tire yourself out 😂

everything is just so expensive (especially having to pay for an adult ticket, parking, no external food allowed etc) , and after a 6 week break I don't have any ideas or funds to take them out anywhere. Even the free stuff, museum etc they will just want to chase each other and play hide and seek in between all the displays.

Its also annoying that it's not a day out, it's a couple of hours max. So we are back home by midday wondering what else to do.

I have started to take them on very long walks 2 hours+ of just walking. I like walking and can go for hours so I put in my headphones and tell them let's go. And they start to tire after the 90min mark. We get home and the house is silent 😂 I will never forget that was the first time they "chilled in front of the TV".

I wouldn’t, I promise. I’m not coming at this from a stance of never having worked full time. I’ve done every combination now: full time, sort of SAHM when I had twelve months maternity with DC2, part time. I went from three days to two last year temporarily (I thought anyway) but I now seem to be stuck at two days indefinitely which isn’t great for the bank balance but it is nice to have time with dc2 before she starts school and I do get a day to myself.

I think what I struggle with is the sense of going from one job to another. The two children together are easier than they were but it’s still hard work. Hoping this will ease eventually,

@Dontjumptoconclusions i wish I could do that but my eldest just talks non stop! Even when I ask for a break from it I get it for all of thirty seconds … we stopped yesterday for an ice cream (bike ride) and he wouldn’t stop talking mostly nonsense … I had to say quite firmly to STFU and eat (obviously I said it much more nicely than that but the ice cream was £4 and just melting!)

I don’t, about weekends, but I do share your stress about the house… so generally we are not in it 😂 We go out and do things. I look forward to the weekends to spend time with the little ones (two under 5 here too!) but we are out and about. We tend to make adventures… sometimes just a local park or national trust for a few hours, sometimes a day trip. It goes much, much smoother than trying to spend the weekend inside, where I’m fed up and claustrophobic by midday.

Ah I’ve just seen this post. I’m not entirely sure how to phrase this so it doesn’t sound insensitive but I do think it’s probably a lot harder if you don’t really enjoy it. I don’t mind a park. I absolutely share your feeling that you go from one job to another and I did moan to DH a bit yesterday that I get about 20 minutes a day that nobody needs me, when they’re both asleep before the little one needs me again, but I do enjoy it overall. I’d do it again. The “mama!” Whenever they see me and racing to get to me first etc is wearing but I’ll miss it when they want screens instead 😂

It is all a bit relentless if there’s nothing planned. We spent six hours at a castle yesterday and it went fast, at home it’d have taken forever. Mine love a bath but it lasts half an hour. They’ll watch 15 minutes of TV if I’m lucky. Oldest loves UNO but youngest just wants to steal the cards… sometimes we catch the bus just to use some time 😂

Just to try and help.. Because my kids talk but they aren't chatterboxes non stop. So I'll give my input from DH who does talk nonstop 😂

When your child talks, can you zone out? Does it need a response? Or is it hard to because It's a lot of "look at this!" Because much of the time when someone is talking about things I don't care about, I'm pretty good at zoning out. Have even been known to be engrossed in a book whilst said chatter is happening.

We plan plenty. Yesterday had the round of swimming lessons then a bike ride and play on a park. Today is football / dance followed by a walk at a national trust place with a play area. Do I hate and loathe it? No. Is it stressful getting up and out; yes, am I exhausted by the end of the day, yes, do I have to do it all again tomorrow …

OP- could you answer DH afford to join a large leisure centre/David Lloyd type place that does childcare activities while you and DH either workout in gym or classes or just chill out in the spa ?

It gets so much better as they get older. I never understood people that said 2 and 3 year olds are their favourite age......my life decidedly improved and became easier once DDs were about 5 and 7. Basically both in school 🤣.

And how I hated the park. I found it mind numbingly boring but actually it has become so much easier now they can run off and play on a park and amuse themselves and I can sit on a bench with a cup of tea and shout words of encouragement but don't actually have to do anything.

DDs are 9 and 7 now and my eldest is starting to want lie ins at the weekend so I can see the time ahead where we'll be dragging them out of bed!

Hang in there.

I hear you. Friday night blues are a thing for me. Have a profoundly learning disabled child so things won’t change for us. See the BBC series There She Goes. Such a brilliant depiction.

Ha ha- yes some days I’d do the “public transport tour” of the city just to waste time - get the bus to the tram, tram to the underground, underground to the end and then bus it back via McDonald’s for a hash brown or a bag of fries depending on time of day.

I did actually try this and if I’m honest I don’t think it was worth the money. It wasn’t very close to where we live so was always a logistical nightmare and I think we’ve both come to realise we’re just not keen on exercise, so it was just sitting in the cafe!

Mine were 4 years apart, so it wasn't as hard. But they are not very close as adults, so that's the downside of a large age gap.
You really seem as if you are doing a lot with them. Would having playdates help or just add chaos?

I wish I had something comforting to say but that’s immeasurably hard.

@GameOfJones yeah two is <shudder> so glad I don’t have to do that again! I’m hoping the two of mine together get easier; they are mostly OK alone but together it is still very overwhelming and tiring. Have you found this to be the case?

It’s really hard getting that balance between doing a lot / too much and getting out of the house, I feel like I manage it quite well during the week but my five year old seems to have absolutely boundless energy and is also very loud which is harder at home!

Op I hear you!

Mine are well beyond that point but were all close in age and hard work at times. I also loved party and play date invites 😃

It is also relevant in that we limited screen time heavily so no dumb watching or playing on the iPad, and we had no family around to distract or step in for a while. I think the lack of “a village” makes a big difference too.

Be kind to yourself as I promise this stage ends very quickly!

Ah, those kids with boundless energy. I had one of those. He has turned out well and starts his first job tomorrow.

That energy was channelled into sports and studies as he got older, and served him well. It's hard at the time though!

My only advice would be when you plan something with kids make it something you would also enjoy, even to a small extent. Or do nothing, just chill. The weekend is not only about kids, its about you, too. Especially if you work!

I would love to chill but sadly my children will not permit this! The walk will be nice, it’s just always a lot more work than you think, isn’t it? If I could super transport us there with drinks and snacks and everything needed it would all be great!

it sounds like you're doing a great job though! the kids are well exercised, entertained, plenty of fresh air, happy to be with you!

I had 4, 2 and 1 at one point so i definitely relate. I did the same as you - lots of trips out, activities, national trust, bikes etc.

I did do tv first thing in the morning for 30 mins though.
also around 5pm we'd take them to our local pub, get them dinner form the kids menu and we'd have a couple of drinks 🍷. then back home bath bed and then we'd get a takeaway.. i used to enjoy that. 😊

Mine were 4 and 1 in lockdown so I can’t relate to this 😁

They are now 11 and 8 and fight like cat and dog 90% of the time so now my job is separating them and refereeing. When they were your DC age they were physically hard work but emotionally so much easier, the fighting would be limited to “mine” and toy snatching and they were actually so sweet together a lot of the time.

Now the 8 year old irritates the 11 year old just by existing and the 8 year old is sick of the relentless low level teasing so shrieks at the smallest provocation. And so chaos descends.

There was definitely a sweet spot when they were I would say 8 and 5, and 9 and 6, they bickered but it wasn’t as intense as it is now. You’ll get there and have a good couple of years to enjoy - problem is we all spend our lives at work/school/all those extra curriculars we signed them up to post covid so really the actual enjoyment was so fleeting.