Just a rant: I absolutely fucking HATE weekends!

[canihavecanihave]

First thing on Saturday is my low point: all weekend yawning before me.

I feel like the whole two days are just an exhausting merry go round of trying to do stuff to fill time and entertain the kids (both under 5 so hopeful this may get better) to stop them arguing and destroying the house.

I know some people will say just to chill at home but if we ever try to do this it is so so stressful, they argue and make a mess everywhere.

Ugh.

Playground - whatever the weather. Kids didn't care and I learnt not to. I lost feeling in my feet several times due to the cold, invested in thermals and waterproofs but if they were still feeling it we stayed. They would bump into or make freinds. I would dissociate and stare into space or once they got bigger read a book. Mine also woke at 6am so we often had the park to ourselves for a bit. Walked there and back too and we didn't have a car. When older took a scooter. Took food and a thermal cup of tea. I feel for you... I was on my own too. Eventually I had a freind and we would go togehrwr but the preschool years were hard. Sending love

Sympathy and it will get better.

You end up waiting for them instead! 😂Love the nights everyone is in early and can relax!

It does get better though 💐

Its chaos in our house, my kids only sit still if Netflix is on, but then they get crazy energy and get hyped up without being exercised.
Today I needed a day in bed (TOM) I'm exhausted, before the park (my mistake should have gone after the park) went to Tesco to get 7yo glasses fixed, meltdown from 4yo because I wouldn't buy silly string, 7yo got upset as we were in Tesco for 40 minutes before i could persuade him to leave.
Husband was at work but now has taken them to the park this afternoon thank goodness.
7yo wont watch films he has a complex about watching new things.
I'm so jealous of my friend who kids (same, age as mine) will watch any kids film, all the way through, watching films is how I relax so it pains me now to have this chill out option with my kids.

Oh no. When mine was little, I was single and worked FT so had to use a lot of childcare. I absolutely loved the weekends so I could finally spend proper time with them.
It won’t be easy or relaxing but you knew that before having them. You just need to get inventive with the entertainment.

So hard!!! Keep your chin up OP it gets easier. We have three boys and it was brutal! Mine were easier outdoors. What also helped was slowing down, low expectations. And taking turns. I remember using Ikea crèche for an hour as respite (hour free for aged three and up!)

Yanbu op. Only thing is it does get easier as they get older they are naturally entertained (even if you do become a taxi)

Mine were that age during Covid and we were both at home. It was like an 18 month fuckin neverending weekend 😭

I’m right there with you! I’ve got a 2 year old and a nearly 5 year old and the weekends are exhausting!
We typically get out first thing like go for a walk in the forest or to the park, my in laws have a small holding so we often take them there and they can run around and ride their bikes etc. and then try to have a more chilled afternoon at home, although it is never exactly chilled. If it’s bad weather we will sometimes do soft play etc, but it’s also crazy how quick the weekend spending adds up!

Also to add that my 2 year old is often awake before 6am so it is an incredibly long day!!

Ah yes I remember it well. Beach, park, swimming on a rotation libary sometimes. Agree with others there a few golden years then it's football/swimming/riding @8:30 am.

Can you divide and conquer, will one play quietly if the other one isn’t there?

Why are they trashing the house and flooding the bathroom?

i totally feel you and have half the number of kids…only time fixed it. Now I look forward to a day with DD however we have just spent an hour arguing about why eating vegetables is important…so who knows!

I don’t want to sound sanctimonious, but you’re basically saying that you hate being with your children, which is so sad!

If their behaviour at home is bad or stressful for you, then you need to fix that. I have a six and four year old currently, and I’ve never felt like you do, so it isn’t that everyone experiences these years the same way.

Oh, I remember those days. It definitely gets a lot better. I do remember Saturday mornings would just be the worst.
And it generally wasn't bad behaviour that needed fixing as such, just exhausting and suffocating (and too early starts).

I generally preferred getting out and doing something at that age, for a bit of the day at least.

I loved being with my children, but at that age, a weekend without any particular structure was often really hard work.

Mine are now older but I do remember! I had 3, close together in age. I was a single parent from when the youngest was a baby & even before then I did everything myself.

Having a clear structure is key, and getting out early is important. By those ages mine were already doing sports (in the nursery age groups) and I think that really helped.

I don’t know why it’s quite so hard if you have DH though? One of you goes to the park, the other runs around the house & does the domestic side of things & then you also build in some independent time for yourself (and DH).

I agree, expecting them to watch a movie is hard at that age, I think it will happen shortly but not yet!

But it’s true, parenting small DC, is so physical, it’s draining.

The secret is to learn to relax in the chaos of young children. Let them run riot a little bit in the morning whilst you chill. Then take them outdoors doing stuff you all like, i had 4 under 5 (youngest was suprise twins). We used to:
Woodland walks and geocaching
Beach followed by arcade 2p games
Bus to town and giving them £2 each to spend on whatever they wanted in the poundland shop.

Mine also loved going around ikea and played in the set up house areas and having meatballs for tea(I had to stop this as it was getting expensive as I kepy buying kitchen stuff!)
Meeting friends with similar aged children was great, picnic by park etc.
Swimming pool
Hunting for nice treasure pebbles/sea glass
And also a bit of screen time (usually morning when I wallowed in bed!)

Mine are all huge teenagers now, I have them to spend any time with me at all 😫

That’s a good point @NelferchyLlyn I wasn’t good at being relaxed at home but I myself liked being outdoors so it worked well having them all outside playing and being able to be part of that. I know not everyone finds that enjoyable.

My nearly 4 year old also isn't interested in sitting still to watch a film 😀
Soft play is too full of big ones at the weekend here and our nearest leisure centre is dingy unfortunately, as both of those are perfect for tiring out a small child.

DC does an activity on Saturday mornings and then we just do a lot of park/scooter/fresh air. Sunday is the tricky day for us.

My suggestion would be that you each get some time off at weekends while the other takes them out- either Saturday/Sunday.

And make a list of things you can do as the “going out parent” and shove it on the fridge and cycle through it so you don’t have to think each week ie park, library, soft play, cafe, different park, swimming, garden centre, bus ride somewhere etc etc.

Imagine what it's like when your DH is locked in his office for most of the weekend 🫠🫠

I used to feel the same; dc are adults now.

The weekend is long and hard with such young dc. But it’s much, much harder for you if your dh works on Saturdays op. My dh used to be away travelling a lot and I remember really resenting the weekends in sole control of dc when he wasn’t there.

I came to the counter-intuitive conclusion that part of the reasons my weekends were so stressful was that I gave up the rigid routine that governed the rest of the week in the hope that we. could chill a bit but that often doesn’t work with under fives but it does start to get masses better once they are eight.

And lying in and having slower mornings sounds so inviting but in actual fact is hell with infants who wake early.

So I used to draw up a plan for Saturday and Sunday.

Up early for at least one parent (take it in turns) but much more fun if both of you.

Slightly slower breakfast and then reading on the sofa.

Then out to a class or activity run by someone else so dh and me could have a peaceful coffee, or if not a walk in a park for all of us.

Supermarket delivery on Thursdays so food all planned and prepped for weekends which is boring but takes away a lot of stress. Dc used to do better when lunch was their main meal at that age.

After food and exercise, dc more willing to chill a bit and at that point one parent can nap if needed.

Afternoons set up a craft activity. Pre-prepared and thought about. Or made dens with duvet cover . Big cardboard boxes made in to houses.

Then tea for dc, early bath, reading again and bed followed by takeaway and video for me and dh.

Sundays, pretty much the same but would go to a museum or gallery or Stately home or something. Or cycling with dc on board.

Really boring and rigid and I found it very hard at times if I’m honest but nothing else worked with ours as they were physically very active and energetic.

Very occasionally we would hire a baby sitter for three hours one WE morning and dh and I would go and do our own thing. She would take them out somewhere. Would that be an option op?

Parties were a fun interruption if I was organised with generic present and wrapping paper etc and a bit of a pain if not!

And of course there were weekends where one of us was ill or we just didn’t or couldn’t stick to schedule but we found it more manageable when we did.

It’s particularly gruelling if you work ft

I was really lucky to work pt during that period so I had time mid-week when I basically lay on the floor.

Could your dh try and make a real effort to get home from work early on Friday Op and be in charge of entertaining the dc and having a chill evening with a takeaway? That way at least you get to decompress a bit at the start of the weekend marathon?

Split and conquer. Two under two and some weekends we would split them up and do different activities separately, either in the house or out. We were lucky though as they get on well too.

Who are these unicorn children who sit and watch films and don’t throw popcorn at one another and who don’t trash the house with colouring pens and who don’t flood the bathroom

Most kids don't behave like this ime. Are they in full time day csre?

I don’t have to; he does work weekends which is why the divide and conquer doesn’t really work here!

@imisscashmere in a way you’re not wrong although as with many things it isn’t that straightforward or simple. It isn’t that I hate being with them but it’s a bit like … I don’t hate being at work but it’s still a relief when the end of the day comes; I don’t hate being on holiday but it’s still nice to go home, you know? What I’m saying is it’s nice when you get a break from something and at the moment both children together are very full on and a lot of work, so weekends are two full days of it. And yes we do go to the park, we do have swimming lessons etc but honestly I can’t pretend spinning them on a roundabout or pushing them on the swings is exciting or anything. I took them on their bikes to a big park today and it went well, no major disasters, but even just gathering them so someone can go to the toilet isn’t straightforward or simple and it’s work work work, there’s no other way of putting it.

There is a definite dichotomy between what I expected as a parent and the reality and I am the first to admit that. Today I decided to quickly clean the kitchen before we went to the park. I wiped the surfaces and swept the floor and it involved a bit of back and forth emptying bins and so on. Every time my DD saw me she burst into tears and flung herself at me wailing ‘mummmmy!’ I mean I want to be sympathetic and loving but I feel like screaming I AM IN THE SAME FUCKING HOUSE AS YOU!! And this was after I’d spent the entire morning with her; no neglect or abandonment here!

MN threads often make me feel I’m doing it all wrong as like I say, my kids aren’t entertained for hours in the bath (I wouldn’t actually put them in the bath together, so the person who asked why they are allowed to flood the bathroom, they aren’t, because I don’t bath them together) they don’t sit quietly to watch films munching popcorn, they don’t really ‘chill.’ I don’t think they are bad children, they just are a bit old for one of those and young for the other.

Things are getting easier slowly though and I’m hopeful by next autumn we might be in a different place regarding weekends but right now yeah they aren’t much fun!