Will I get in trouble with the school?

[wanderingtopographer]

DS13 has been ill this week with a bad cold and has had 4 days absence. Nothing serious enough for the GP but in bed for the duration with Calpol and feeling generally unwell - I've also caught it and am feeling rubbish so it's clearly contagious. I have called the school every morning to keep them updated. For what it's worth, He performs very well academically and his behaviour at school is excellent so there are no other causes for concern.

I was on the sofa in my PJs when there was a knock on the door and two people from the attendance team were on the doorstep to do what they called a welfare check. I told them what i had said before - he's tucked up poorly in bed. They then asked if he could come down or put his head out of the window!

I was quite taken aback, as well as being slightly out of it, and said that no, he is poorly in bed, I am his mum and that feels like a big overstep on their part. I didn't raise my voice and said it politely but it feels absolutely wrong to have him forced to present himself as proof when he is feeling ill and not even dressed. We have never had any issues with the school that I think could warrant them disbelieving me or being otherwise concerned about his welfare - he is a nice, happy, well adjusted kid who happens to have a stinking cold!

They didn't push the matter and went away, but am now worried that it will be a mark against my name or they will raise it in school. Does anyone know if they will take this further?

You sound quite judgemental. A social worker will know far more than you about the situation and they are happy for the home school to continue. It sounds like you just have a bee in your bonnet about home schooling in general.

Hope you recover faster than DS.

There's a similar thread on Facebook, apparently schools send out truent officers once a child has been off for three days

The Department for Education is forcing schools to have a massive push on attendance because absence has doubled since Covid. Schools have to be seen to comply.

Welfare check? It's to check he isn't on holiday FFS. School haven't laid eyes on the kid for 6 weeks, why would 4 days justify a welfare check if there are no other concerns?

It's very intrusive and I wouldn't want to drag my sick child out of bed either.

You sound quite judgemental about me. The social worker actually knows very little about them. She has known the family for around 6 months - I have known them for many years.

I also have absolutely nothing against home schooling, I think it's a great idea if parents can accommodate it especially for primary years.

I have a massive bee in my bonnet about feckless parents who don't prioritise parenting their children and the social system in the UK that is not fit for purpose and lets children down as a result.

I couldn't get worked up over this tbh. It's doing it for the children who would fall through the gaps otherwise.

Oh goodness .... it is very common.
When one of my children was born during a very hot summer the health visitor came every day for weeks telling me that I should top up the breast milk with water or the baby would dehydrate. My OH was a doctor and no way would we have missed dehydration.

My next door neighbour had a baby a few weeks ago and they got very upset by the HV who completely undermined their confidence. At one point they were told that she thought they were not putting the required scoops in the bottles to try and save money! This is an intelligent middle class family. They were so relieved when the HV period stopped and they were able to get on and rebuild their confidence.

How does it help the children who would fall through the gaps otherwise?

I have been looking for reply like this.
It seems like alot of people are not getting it.

The school have a duty of care. There are safeguarding staff for that reason. School staff see the child at the window They then have a fair idea the child is safe. That then saves escalating to social services. Who are already stretched.

When it happen to me i didn't hesitate. Something that takes 30 compared to social services involvement .

And at least they were looking out for my child

You really can’t work it out yourself? Why are you arguing with every post on here when your basic understanding of why this happens is so limited?!

People feel very accosted when this happens to them, but then when a child dies there’s always a big safeguarding review and it’s all over the media that the school should have done more to verify their welfare.

You really can’t articulate it? Why are you arguing with folks if your grasp is so poor you can’t explain the benefits you think are so clear?

edit to add: I haven’t said I don’t know why school’s do it. I’ve asked what the benefit is to OP’s son.

Sorry my mistake thought this was a different conversation.

My edit to add doesn’t apply to this one.

Why do you think a child needs a welfare check after four days off school?

He's 13. He's been off four days with a cold. There's a nasty bug going around at the moment that is laying people very low with a.'cold'

If it’s a very bad cold it’s perfectly possible to be very unwell for a week.

Newly retired headteacher here. Guidance ( Government) says a welfare check should be conducted after 3 days of absence. 1 to check your child ( and you) are okay and 2 ( mainly) to check you’re not on holiday and haven’t told the school to avoid paying the fine. I’m not saying I agree with it in every circumstance but you haven’t been singled out.

Totally ridiculous & outrageous behaviour from the school. Welfare check my arse they are only concerned about their attendance record. I would have told them exactly what you did.

And for some people a lot can happen in 4 days. It may ‘only’ be 4 days but what if his mum strangled him on the first day?

How many times (truthfully) have you known an otherwise healthy teenager to be in bed sick for a week with a cold?

4 days in bed is highly unusual. I really can't think of an occasion when a healthy teen or adult can't get out of bed for 4 days. It suggests a fever, or a high level of inflammation which if it lasted for 4 days would need medical assessment.

School attendance at this age is important because it's usually the start of good school habits. Being allowed to stay in bed at the start of the school year is likely to create a habit.

Those who say it's overreach are unaware of the circumstances, perhaps the school has more information than the Op has eluded to.

Seriously? Flu or a bad cold put me in bed for a few days a few times as a child, same with my parents! It's very common..