Will I get in trouble with the school?

[wanderingtopographer]

DS13 has been ill this week with a bad cold and has had 4 days absence. Nothing serious enough for the GP but in bed for the duration with Calpol and feeling generally unwell - I've also caught it and am feeling rubbish so it's clearly contagious. I have called the school every morning to keep them updated. For what it's worth, He performs very well academically and his behaviour at school is excellent so there are no other causes for concern.

I was on the sofa in my PJs when there was a knock on the door and two people from the attendance team were on the doorstep to do what they called a welfare check. I told them what i had said before - he's tucked up poorly in bed. They then asked if he could come down or put his head out of the window!

I was quite taken aback, as well as being slightly out of it, and said that no, he is poorly in bed, I am his mum and that feels like a big overstep on their part. I didn't raise my voice and said it politely but it feels absolutely wrong to have him forced to present himself as proof when he is feeling ill and not even dressed. We have never had any issues with the school that I think could warrant them disbelieving me or being otherwise concerned about his welfare - he is a nice, happy, well adjusted kid who happens to have a stinking cold!

They didn't push the matter and went away, but am now worried that it will be a mark against my name or they will raise it in school. Does anyone know if they will take this further?

I think there is such outrageous overreach by schools in the uk around things like this.
It’s a complete invasion of privacy and people’s personal lives!

Yep, calpol is paracetamol, we’ve had a cupboard full of the stuff here over the years.

I quite like the taste too 😀

I would have let them in to see my son. They are only doing their job. After cases like Sara Sharif they need to consider all unusual absences as a safeguarding risk.
A 13 year old off school for 4 days with a cold is unusual.

Absolutely this. How could the school reasonably decide which absentees to do a home check on? They check them all, and that's got to be a good thing.

Or it’s just policy within the attendance policies etc if the school and local council etc. It’s not unheard of and haven’t attendance policies changed this term for schools.

We can’t complain about school and social services failing to keep children safe AND get angry at them when they try to do that. They don’t know you, it’s a really standard thing that after so many days they do a welfare check and of course that involves seeing the child is there and safe.

4 days absence from school for a cold is excessive as well without seeing a GP.

They may refer you to SS as they were unable to check the child is safe. It won’t come to much if they do if you have nothing to hide, it’s hardly the crime of the cebtury but I hope someone follows up otherwise it shows some failings. I am surprised that this annoyed you though when there are people in the world that abuse their children and push them around in a pushchair after they’re deceased. At 13 surely he could have popped his head out of the window? If not, maybe you need to see a GP with him.

I was thinking this myself after my initial reaction of cheeky fuckers. 😞

Exactly this.

I'd be happy to receive a check up. To be honest they probably don't care if he's properly unwell, they are checking that after 6 weeks off he's ok physically.

It's a bit like free school meals for infant schools - most don't need them but covering everyone means those at risk are.

Of course he could have stuck his head out. But should he have stuck his head out?

I feel surprised that people accept the government intruding into their lives in this way.

I’m fully expecting to be in a similar position in the next couple of weeks, 2nd/3rd weeks back everyone comes down with something after a long healthy summer. My youngest has only been back 2 days and already brought a head full of little friends home with her today 😬

It wouldn’t bother me as I’ve done safeguarding training so I know they are just checking everything is ok.

Calpol at 13?

If this wasn’t about child safeguarding, I may be more inclined to get my knickers in a twist

The school aren't coming out because they think you're up to something or for fun/to catch you out, they are just doing their duty. They come out and gather information, eg is an adult present, anyone at home, is child present, do they look ok. Have they seen a doctor, do you know how to get advice if needed.
Then it all gets put on their record in case it's needed to build a picture later. The same happens every time we go to a&e for any reason, we get a HV call a few days later. It's useless advice if you know it, but if you don't then it's essential.
Yes it feels intrusive but just accept it's the system that overall keeps children safe, even if you know you're the sort of parent that wouldn't lie about what your child is off, abuse them, or not know how to get help for them if needed.

It's fine OP, you prioritised the welfare of your DS. The school's system is there to provide a safety net for the rare occasions parents aren't the very best protectors of their children and to try and ensure the school looks good when evaluated.

Schools are put in a difficult position where they have a lot of responsibilities and goals put on them but absolutely no authority to cover them. They don't have the authority for good reason, but it does put them in a difficult position and they seem to try some odd things to achieve what's asked of them. No reason for you not to prioritise your DS over them, though.

It's most likely they were mainly there to make sure DS wasn't on holiday. But if they make an SS referral it won't go anywhere because your DS is being well looked after.

Yes, it is just paracetamol.

https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/chadrack-mulo-4-starved-to-death-as-he-clung-to-his-mother-s-body-two-weeks-after-she-died-a3559996.html

No one went to check 😥

But this is happening right now in the UK

so you planning to scarper @concertinacornflake ?

Do school staff have right of entry? What is the status of the checks? What happens next?

Do the school staff have right of entry?

no right of entry
what do you mean status of the checks?

Nope

what country would allow teachers to barge in to someone’s home?

They have processes. Teachers are not the appropriate people to do this.

Are not the people to check?

well the government disagrees

so you off?

It's not in OP's DS's best interests to stick his head out. He isn't anymore safe if he sticks his head out, just more uncomfortable/distressed. And OP's priority is her DS, not everyone else's.

So school staff can knock, and parents can ignore.

What happens next?