Will I get in trouble with the school?

[wanderingtopographer]

DS13 has been ill this week with a bad cold and has had 4 days absence. Nothing serious enough for the GP but in bed for the duration with Calpol and feeling generally unwell - I've also caught it and am feeling rubbish so it's clearly contagious. I have called the school every morning to keep them updated. For what it's worth, He performs very well academically and his behaviour at school is excellent so there are no other causes for concern.

I was on the sofa in my PJs when there was a knock on the door and two people from the attendance team were on the doorstep to do what they called a welfare check. I told them what i had said before - he's tucked up poorly in bed. They then asked if he could come down or put his head out of the window!

I was quite taken aback, as well as being slightly out of it, and said that no, he is poorly in bed, I am his mum and that feels like a big overstep on their part. I didn't raise my voice and said it politely but it feels absolutely wrong to have him forced to present himself as proof when he is feeling ill and not even dressed. We have never had any issues with the school that I think could warrant them disbelieving me or being otherwise concerned about his welfare - he is a nice, happy, well adjusted kid who happens to have a stinking cold!

They didn't push the matter and went away, but am now worried that it will be a mark against my name or they will raise it in school. Does anyone know if they will take this further?

For safegiarding fo be effectibe, they have to check everyone. Otherwise they cant discover the ones actually at risk.

Saying that... an obviously ill parent shpuld be a good clue the child is also ill.

Then you’re probably the type whose kids actually need welfare checks 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not to be blunt but if any harm had come to your son that you were hiding, do you think the school would get away with saying ‘we’ve seen no incidents, observed no off behaviour and had no cause for concern’.
I don’t think they would get away with saying that, I think everyone would say why did the school not do welfare checks and then all of a sudden everyone blames them

Have you looked at the paracetamol mg that is in the recommended dosage for a child compared to the recommended dosage of calpol? He certainly wouldn’t be downing 2 bottles of calpol

I just can’t imagine point blank saying no in this scenario. They have a job to do. The school is concerned. That would be enough for me.

It’s to prevent another Sara Sharif situation. Be thankful your school takes safeguarding seriously.

They are taking their safeguarding role seriously.

When kids get murdered by their parents people are up in arms that nobody has done more. This is the doing more. We should be glad.

I would have said exactly the same.

The school staff took time out of their day purely to check your son hadn't come to harm and was being hidden away to conceal abuse. Many cases of such have happened - Sara Sharif?

When my DS was off school for an extended period due to a medical issue, we had a welfare officer pop in every week to speak to him and check he was OK. They were clear they just needed to have had eyes on him as they had a responsibility for his welfare while he was on their roll during school time.

I didn't take offence.

It would have been easy enough to have got him to throw on a dressing gown or a hoodie and stand at the top of the stairs while they had a chat with him.

It may well flag up concerns and they may speak to him when he goes back to check everything is OK, but you have nothing to hide so it will be fine.

This. There is new safeguarding statutory guidance (Keeping children safe in Education 2026) which has just come out and which is keeping everyone on their safeguarding toes. I'm sure they'd rather not schlepp round people's houses but they are getting to keep children safe.

They are supposed to check in person and they can't decide who to check on based on how nice the parents appear, or whether they have had previous issues with parents. Really bad things can happen for a first time.

After 4 days? Bollocks. Safeguarding is important but this was both overkill and intrusive

@wanderingtopographer isnt exactly going to admit to the school likely having existing concerns

It's good to hear they are checking. I would have asked him to come down so they could see he is ok.
It might be annoying but it's a necessary annoyance . So many children have been hurt with no one knowing. The welfare check is just to make sure he isn't falling through the system

Sadly I don't think a parent's word can be enough. That's how children slip through the net

I thought you gave normal medicine to 13 year olds, not calpol? Just a smaller dose? Isn't calpol for babies/much younger kids?

I’d think it was OTT and be a bit offended then I’d think logically that actually they are just trying to check on children and do a wellbeing check.

We are all the first to think it’s awful that children slip through the net with abusive parents but moan when someone actually checks on children

I'm actually really impressed with the school. I work in this area and have come across schools who have gone months without setting eyes on a pupil - for them to come out to you so quickly shows they're really on it. They'll have reported it at as safeguarding concern on their system that you didn't let them see him - however I wouldn't be too concerned as long as he's back Monday and they see him themselves and it isn't a repeat occurance.

They can't win
They are criticised if they do nothing and criticised for doing welfare check.

Calpol is just paracetamol in a more palatable firm, it comes in liquid or dissolvable things, with doseage on the packet for up to 16.

Plus some adults take it for choice.

The UK is a liberal democracy, with the rule of law and presumption of innocence.

If you want intrusive checks by the state, move somewhere with a different type of governmental regime.

If the school thinks a child is in danger, they should report to social services and/or the police.

Well no actually

the checks are happening here. So if you don’t want it @concertinacornflake … you are the one to move

What a load of pompous codswallop.

If you want intrusive checks by the state, move somewhere with a different type of governmental regime - following this up with a suggestion to just let social services know to go and check instead (!) is a little ill thought out, no?

Unfortunately, we have to 'raise alarms' now when attendance drops to 96% to prevent further drops because schools are hammered for poor attendance. It's shit.

Oh this would annoy me too especially when there's no history of concerns etc. My child was out of school a while (send and unmet needs) and we had to do weekly online check ins. It was a pain in the arse and I refused eventually as frankly how does my child waving on camera mean they're safe? I could be sending them out running county lines every day, neglecting them or doing all sorts, most of which would not be evident from a wave on a teams call. They said I'd get reported to social services and they'd send someone round my house every week. They didn't bother so clearly knew it wouldn't get picked up and clearly didn't have any actual concerns around safeguarding.

If they'd been persistent when Sara Sharif was being beaten to death she might have survived. I think it's ok these days to confirm that kids are ok even though it feels invasive. They can't win really.