Engagement ring question

[NotAllSunFlowers]

I'm sure there will be people on both sides of this..
myself and long term partner have decided to get married. No big proposal, a grown up discussion & a decision that it's what we want before we start to lose parents etc.

Been together a long time, house & kids etc. (both on the house deeds, incase that comes up).

So my question.. I don't often wear rings. I do want an engagement ring. But I can't imagine spending a huge amount ££££+. Other half has told me to pick, he wants me to love it and cherish it.

Will I regret spending a smaller amount? Will that mean the quality isn't as good? Will a cheaper ring not last? Also, I love the idea of a coloured stone like a sapphire.

I don't want to go cheap and regret it. But also feel if I spend a huge amount, I'll be shared to wear it. I've seen lots of line of people wearing a cheap replica, but I don't get the point in that.

for reference, we will be having a low key wedding. We really can't imagine spending a fortune on one day.
Thank you

Personally, in similar circs I went for a really 'nice' wedding ring instead, rather than a plain band. No engagement ring - I find the concept sexist.

Have you heard of ordering rings directly from the wholesaler in China? I have a few, all great quality and at a fraction of the prices. They often do group sales, if there are lots ordering you get the ring at a discounted price or you can do custom rings specific to your own requirements - there is more information on reddit: r/LabGroupSales and the different companies out there. Would definitely recommend

I have a platinum wedding band with diamonds kind of hammered into it. DH got a fancy wedding ring too. We chose them together.

Its the only jewellery I wear.

I’d avoid the high street shops, which don’t necessarily represent good value for money. If you consider lab grown diamonds over mined, you will get a bit more for your money. It’s also worth going to Hatton Garden or similar because you can custom design what you want, within your budget. You can also learn about the quality of diamonds and see what grade you’d most like.

I was similar, didn't wear rings at all (my wedding/engagement rings are the only ones I own) and we didn't have a massive budget available for rings. I also really didn't want a new diamond as I felt a bit uncomfortable with some of the ethical issues and we couldn't afford to get a diamond we could trust to be completely ethical so we went for moissanite in yellow gold. I'm obsessed with my rings, even 5 years on. The set was under £800 which is pretty affordable in the world of weddings sets. I also love the origin story of natural moissanite - basically stardust! (Mine is obviously lab grown like most moissanite available)

If you don't want to spend £££, you can get really lovely rings in antique shops that are much cheaper than new, more eco friendly, and IMO, nicer too. I'm wearing mine now. I like the thought that it's been worn and cherished by someone who came before me and that I am giving it a new life.

Definitely worth a look in 2nd hand jewellery shops if you want a coloured stone. They were out of fashion for so long there is so much choice available. I have all DHs Granny's and Mum's rings with rubies, emeralds etc that looked so old fashioned to me when we inherited them but they're so popular now.

I would stick to yellow gold if you don't want to faff about with rhodium plating every few years but personally I think sapphires look best with white gold 😀.

Gold is so expensive at the moment that, gram for gram, platinum is currently cheaper than gold. If you prefer a white metal then platinum is pretty much always a more durable and better choice.

Go and try some on before you decide. I tried on expensive rings that felt too much for me and I have this ring and love it: https://www.hsamuel.co.uk/engagement-ring-9ct-yellow-gold-ceylon-sapphire-diamond-cluster-ring/p/V-3536742?cm_mmc=SEM_Google:HS%7C%7CShopping%7C%7CBrand%7c%7CBrand%20Inclusion::3876489&_$ja=acid:628-777-7884%7Ccid:21803093916%7Cagid:%7Ctid:%7Ccrid:%7Cnw:x%7Crnd:2443852716869053210%7Cdvc:m%7Cadp:%7Cmt:%7Cloc:9194217&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21803098041&gbraid=0AAAAAC80rlJWcJnoDNW0JaTBVbnaANURo&gclid=Cj0KCQjw2OnUBhC2ARIsACKyfaHfC3SMNyLiYpWvIBn89j9d9aFRgIDrNFMNeX8G7flbUO5Lft5dOSwaAkHkEALw_wcB

Buy antique; more for your money, usually better quality, often unique. Old jewellery is better.........

I have a sapphire and diamond ring and absolutely love it. I’m not a ring wearer but I am with this, it always makes me smile.

Why the mean girl comment? And you absolutely are ‘picking on’ her words! 🤦‍♀️

OP

get a vintage ring! The price to quality ratio is so much better. Also - you can get so much more variety in the design. I did this and I’ve a ring that people compliment me on, it’s a beautiful unusual shape / arrangement.

we got (me) a 2ct diamond and had it made into a ring. So it was expensive but not wild (15k ish). These days you can get a lab grown diamond really cheap so go for one of those!

I love a sapphire 🙌

I got my ring in the sale I can't see the point of spending loads for the sake of it.

Well literally millions of women do!! How is it a faff..you put one on,then the next one..job done!

It baffles me why engagement rings are such an emotive subject. It's fine not to have one if you don't want one, but no need to piss on the chips of people who do like them.

The ring I now wear after I divorced my husband.

Nice ones don't need to be expensive. Sometimes it's where you buy. I've seen ones that are very cheap that to me (no expert) look exactly the same as megabucks ones.
And some of the megabucks ones look similar to £20 cocktail rings I had as a teen. No judgment at all, everyone should have what they want if they can afford it, but I'm just saying most people won't know.

Just have whatever you want. Coloured stones are lovely. Have a look in antique or secondhand shops.
And if you want to keep the cost down, I would highly recommend garnet or amethyst, which are both beautiful and unusual these days.

We had a low key wedding last year, it was a whole day thing, but all in everything came to £4000, I personally see money spent on weddings as a waste in some ways when you can have exactly what you want for much much less, we also had a grown up conversation instead of a big proposal.

I don't wear jewellery usually, but I knew I wanted an engagement ring, even though we didn't technically have an engagement! I really wanted a second hand ring and I found a lovely white gold and diamond cluster ring for £250 and later a diamond wedding ring from a high street jeweller which weirdly matches perfectly for £500, I love them both.

My advice would be to look around until you find something that speaks to you, take your time going around jewellers, antique shops, everywhere we went on our travels I poked around local jewellery shops until I found mine.

One thing to bear in mind about gold/platinum jewellery is that it will always have some sort of resale value - it might not be anywhere near what you paid for it, especially if you bought it new - but it's not a thing that becomes completely worthless after 10 years, like a high end mobile phone or other tech, even if you only get its scrap value.

Make sure it’s a good strong metal and a strong stone. Doesn’t have to be mega bucks but don’t get costume jewellery. You could also look for vintage or second hand. Lab grown is also cheaper but just as strong.

Also not sure why a PP thinks people only wear their ER for a year. Everyone I know wears theirs every day including after marriage.

Definitely look at second hand. Do you have any preference on a stone ? Gold or platinum?
Are you anywhere near Birmingham? The jewellery quarter is good or Hatton garden.
Try a few on.