Engagement ring question

[NotAllSunFlowers]

I'm sure there will be people on both sides of this..
myself and long term partner have decided to get married. No big proposal, a grown up discussion & a decision that it's what we want before we start to lose parents etc.

Been together a long time, house & kids etc. (both on the house deeds, incase that comes up).

So my question.. I don't often wear rings. I do want an engagement ring. But I can't imagine spending a huge amount ££££+. Other half has told me to pick, he wants me to love it and cherish it.

Will I regret spending a smaller amount? Will that mean the quality isn't as good? Will a cheaper ring not last? Also, I love the idea of a coloured stone like a sapphire.

I don't want to go cheap and regret it. But also feel if I spend a huge amount, I'll be shared to wear it. I've seen lots of line of people wearing a cheap replica, but I don't get the point in that.

for reference, we will be having a low key wedding. We really can't imagine spending a fortune on one day.
Thank you

Get a 2nd hand ring you'll get a ring for a fraction of the cost

My husband wanted me to choose. Our budget was very limited, so i didn't choose the small solitaire- it wasn't for me. I chose a small sapphire with diamonds round it (I'm sure they are fragments!) I love it and get so many compliments on it. I wear a simple wedding ring too, but my favourite is my engagement one.

My engagement ring is simple. 9ct gold with an aquamarine and a couple of tiny diamonds (wedding ring is also very simple plain gold). I think it cost about £150 25 years ago. I love it and wanted something I could wear every day, so no huge solitaire etc. I'm not sure I'd bother with an engagement ring if I was getting married now.

My engagement ring is a fairly simple concave platinum band with teeny diamonds spaced around it - about 10 total. My wedding band matches it without the diamonds. It cost £1200. My DH earned £500k/year, so could have chosen a much more expensive one. But a solitaire diamond type ring is just not my style, and this was the ring that ‘spoke’ to me. No regrets (though my mother always said I didn’t have a ‘proper’ engagement ring…).

We did a very similar arrangement. Had been together 15 years, house, kids. Shared horror at the idea of an actual wedding - just us, no shade but it’s not our thing

we went away for after our register office do, to brimingham. Wandered the jewellery quarter and bought be a beautiful art deco emerald which I’ve worn ever since. So not an “engagement ring” but a lovely ring id not necessarily have bought otherwise which is attached to happy memories about “us”

it wasn’t thousands but it was more than I’d usually spend on a ring.

You’ll find your sweet spot between what’s a good price for you and what you love when you start getting your eye in.

Buy any ring that you love and will wear often. Cost is irrelevant.

that said, a friend of mine was in the same position and instead of an engagement ring, she got a wedding ring with diamonds in it.

This is what I am planning on doing. And we also had a "grown up" discussion about it so I entirely understand what you meant by it.

Congratulations @NotAllSunFlowers !

I have an orange citrine surrounded by small diamonds and I really love mine. I know I didn’t want just a plain diamond and it was much cheaper alternative. I know the stone is not as hard as a diamond would be so I’m abit more careful with it.

The other option is just putting the money towards a nicer wedding ring and only wearing that. I know quite a few people who only wear their wedding ring now.

I was engaged for 3 months before my wedding day. We didn't hang about. Married almost 20 years.

OP pick something you feel comfortable in. I didn't want anything flashy but understated instead. I picked an 18ct solitaire ring. Wasn't cheap but wasn't expensive either.

After much weight gain, I just recently got my wedding band and engagement ring resized. I had enough of not wearing the few pieces of jewellery I absolutely cherish.

When DH and I chose my ring we went to Birmingham jewellery quarter. Basically it is 2 long streets on both sides of the road that sells jewellery. Most shops sell new but second hand ones too. We started on one side then went up other side. In first shop I saw a ring I loved but DH thought we should look at others too. In the end we went back to the first shop and I chose the design setting of the ring and DH picked out the diamond to go in it. We collected it a week later. I absolutely love it. I would recommend looking at some vintage rings as they contain mined diamonds whereas a lot of newer rings have the lab grown ones. Also 9 carat gold is stronger than 18 carat. If you get a ring cleaned it really comes up like new.

My engagement ring was my grandma's so didn't cost a thing.

It sounds like you feel similarly to me, not bothered about jewellery. I've never regretted not getting a expensive ring so I don't think you would. On the flip side, if I'd spent £££'s on a ring I think I would regret it! It doesn't matter to me enough.

This is what we did too. I have a beautiful platinum wedding band set with diamonds. Its smooth enough it doesn't catch on things but sparkly enough it doesn't need another ring with it.

I have a right hand ring too. White gold with 3 small diamonds set into it. I think it was 1/3 carat. It used to fit my ring finger but now it fits my baby finger.

I agree, I find it a bit weird to approach it from a financial standpoint unless it’s your only valuable asset or something. Pick something you find pretty enough to wear everyday, really.

OP do come back and show us what you choose.

I’m not a big jewelry person. I’ve been married twice. My first husband spent £3500 on a platinum diamond engagement ring from beaverbrooks and the matching wedding ring was £1500. I wore them every day but I hated how it felt, they caught on things and spun on my finger making my other fingers feel scratchy. When we divorced I got offered £500 for both from a jewelers. I sold them on eBay for not much more.

Second time round I said I didn’t want anything expensive as I wouldn’t be wearing them everyday and would prefer to spend the money on the house. I have a lovely pink sapphire ring and a diamond wedding band. I bought a cheap plain stainless steel band that I wear everyday and just wear the others for best.

It’s a personal thing but something the diamond industry takes advantage of. It so much money for something with a fraction of the resale value- but that doesn’t matter if you keep it forever so whatever you like best and fits your budget.

Not an engagement ring, but I wear a ring that my DP bought me as a present every day. It's a black sapphire and diamond chips in white gold and it cost less than £300. I've worn it every single day for the past 15 years, including for all sorts of ill-advised activities like gardening and so on, and it still looks exactly the same as it did the day he bought it. So I really don't think you need to spend a lot of money to get a ring that will last forever. Choose the ring you want.

There’s always one arsehole on a thread.

Antique are great. You can get a beautiful ring for a few hundred pounds. I wouldn’t particularly want a new ring unless the budget was ££££££

Try rings on for a start, and once you know the style, you could look at secondhand rings.

My engagement ring is a simple platinum diamond ring, was brand new bought from an independent jewellery shop (about £2,700 in 2006, just under half a carat diamond but good quality). I do like the look of more antique rings as well, and you could potentially get more for your money in terms of size of stone etc.

I wear mine everyday, and wanted a style that did not catch on things etc. My wedding band was cheaper than my engagement ring as it is plain platinum. Platinum is more expensive than gold etc. but did not want anything plated where it could wear off.

Photo pending, excuse bent fingers, my nails need attention.

When I was 18 my first boyfriend surprised me with a ring - gold with a sapphire.

The stone fell out.

I don't think he spent that much....(to be fair he wasn't earning loads).

I've been married 17 years and I never take my rings off. They were very inexpensive (maybe £300 apprx each) but have lasted well. I'm still happy with them and have never regretted not spending more. Congratulations and wishing you all the best.

Have you considered spending the budget on a nicer wedding ring instead? I’m not a ring person and thought I could change that for my engagement ring. I didn’t, and now it sits in its box a lot of the time. But we got an eternity ring as my wedding ring and I happily wear that everyday as it isn't as noticeable on my hand and can be worn 24/7 rather than taking it off to sleep etc.

Look at the brand Fenton. I chose my ring from them because I wanted a gemstone rather than a traditional diamond.

My ring cost £2,750 — it’s platinum with an aquamarine stone with two small diamonds on the side. If the big stone was real diamond of the same size and quality, I believe it would have been around a 2-carat ring and could have cost approximately £10,000.

The quality is absolutely amazing. I often take it for professional cleaning, and the jewellery specialists always comment on what a beautifully made, high-quality ring it is.