Engagement ring question

[NotAllSunFlowers]

I'm sure there will be people on both sides of this..
myself and long term partner have decided to get married. No big proposal, a grown up discussion & a decision that it's what we want before we start to lose parents etc.

Been together a long time, house & kids etc. (both on the house deeds, incase that comes up).

So my question.. I don't often wear rings. I do want an engagement ring. But I can't imagine spending a huge amount ££££+. Other half has told me to pick, he wants me to love it and cherish it.

Will I regret spending a smaller amount? Will that mean the quality isn't as good? Will a cheaper ring not last? Also, I love the idea of a coloured stone like a sapphire.

I don't want to go cheap and regret it. But also feel if I spend a huge amount, I'll be shared to wear it. I've seen lots of line of people wearing a cheap replica, but I don't get the point in that.

for reference, we will be having a low key wedding. We really can't imagine spending a fortune on one day.
Thank you

DH and I decided to get married (vs proposing). I didn’t especially want a traditional engagement ring so got a platinum and diamond band as my wedding ring. It sits flush. He got a platinum plain band which fits the similar depth /style.

My ring cost a small fortune - I love it but if I lost it and insurance wouldn’t cover it, I’m not sure I’d spend it now. And I’d go second hand/antique if I did.

What a fucking weird comment.

Spend any time on MN and it’s often clear the OP needs to communicate better. This OP was making it clear she and her partner have communicated. Quite how you extrapolated from that that one or other has been forced into engagement/marriage is beyond me.

Mine was about £800 but honestly I wish we'd spent less. I'm not really an expensive jewellery type person and to me the real value of an engagement ring is symbolic not monetary.

There Is a middle ground-choose something you like that is somewhere between a cheap replica and spending ££££!

Look at second hand-you’ll get something interesting and more bang for your buck.

I really dislike the thought that my worth or our relationship is based on how much or little or how big or small a ring is or how much was spent.

But it isn't. Mine's a small 1/5 carat diamond in 9 carat gold, bought twenty two years ago, it was a ring I loved and still wear. The cost consideration was 'could we afford it' rather than wanting to spend a fortune. There was no 'proposal' moment - we had a conversation and decided to get married and then chose engagement and wedding rings together. I was pleased to be engaged and wanted to show off that I was, rather than showing off a very flashy ring.

FFS

I love a sapphire. Go to several different jewellers and try on some rings. You’ll soon see what suits you and what you like. Congratulations.

Buy a second hand ring or go for a lab created stone to save on costs, but you should get a ring you would love to see on your finger.

Nobody will know the price of the ring unless you tell them. Just buy something that you like and that you feel will have meaning to you.

@NotAllSunFlowers set the budget you're comfortable with, also agree that you'd probably get more for your money if you look at second hand.

If you're not averse to lab grown diamonds, this site could give you some ideas.

Congratulations!

I lost my engagement ring a long time ago. I was devastated as I loved it. DH said he would replace it but I took my time as wanted to find something that I would love as much and that was a bit unusual. 15 years later I found a ring that I loved.

My ring is expensive and large but it is not your typical diamond solitaire. I found it at Bonhams and it’s one of a kind. As it was bought at auction, DH paid significantly less for it that he would have had we bought a brand new ring from a jewellery shop.

My advice would be that there’s no rush and that buying an antique ring can get you a very special ring for a fraction of the price.

go to a jewellery arcade and try on lots.
sometimes what you think you like doesnt look right on your own hand! so try different ones and see.

you have to choose a band colour(s): silvery colours (silver, white gold, platinum, palladium) or gold colours (rose gold, 9ct, 18ct, or 24ct yellow gold).

jewellery annoys me. if it’s too proud it catches on things. if it’s too wide it stops me bending my stubby fingers. if the solitaire is too small it makes my fingers look like sausages.

mined diamonds are the traditional diamonds.

now you also get lab grown diamonds which are WAY cheaper. these are a small diamond that has pressure and gasses applied just like in the ground and the diamond grows just like it does in the ground but quicker in perfect lab conditions over months not decades/centuries in the ground. it’s the only difference.

i got one from TJC the jewellery channel. i watched thwir shows unril i saw one i liked as they reduce the price on air. i took it to my jeweller. he tested it. it is real. (i bought a bracelet from my jeweller while there so i wasn’t being too cheeky lol). so ive got a carat of diamonds for cheap. mine is set in silver for under £300. silver is soft so i’d suggest 9ct gold or more for an every day piece.

that or second hand is the way i’d go if it were me.

I did this, my wedding ring is what a lot of people would think of an eternity ring. It's a platinum band with a channel of nine small diamonds.

If I wasn't sure I'd go and look at antique rings, often these are much more wearable and very beautiful.

I’d look at antique rings. There are some beautiful and far more unique ones shopping that way

I'd go antique, too - I usually prefer old cuts.

It isn't the price of the ring, it's the sentiment and meaning behind it. You love the ring because of the love and commitment it stands for, not how much it cost.

I have a 3 stone diamond that my husband chose for me. Been wearing it 27 years now and still love it. My wedding ring is plain gold and was my nans.

Same ring. Three stones- I Love You. Had mine 50 years.
I say buy the ring you love. Go into the jewellers and ask them to lay out some sapphire rings- no prices attached and then decide.

Ah I adore mine! I chose a ring I loved - I looked at the generic engagement ones and didn’t like them. Mine was £230, it’s silver with a rough cut sapphire made by a silversmith in wales. I don’t like gold jewellery so it suited me.

Secondhand / preloved / vintage (however you prefer to think about it) is the way to go. You will get much, much more for your money, especially if you want a coloured stone. There are lots of late 20th century sapphire and ruby clusters on the market at the moment if they are to your taste.

FFS.

Personally I like a big rock. That’s me. My original engagement ring was a 1.5ct emerald cut diamond. Nowadays I would go for a lab diamond.

what I would not do however is ever buy on the high street, it’s always better value to have something made to your request by buying stones wholesale from Hatton garden or similar unless you are going for antique. The mark up on high street is insane

Worry less about the price and just think about what you like. I've never liked big rings, so got a small one. It was on the cheaper side but has lasted over 35 years so far. It is actually a sapphire, which is my favourite stone.

If I could do it again, I wouldn't get a ring with a stone at all though, just a band. Much more practical.

I'd be scared to wear an expensive ring, and also I don't like wearing jewellery in general. After being pregnant my rings didn't fit and I now leave them off most of the time!

My ring was half-price in a sale and not diamond. No idea if it's good quality as I don't know anything about gems. It's really pretty and makes me think lovingly towards DH and our wedding, so no, I've never regretted it.