She’s leaving today

[slippingthroughmyfingers1]

My daughter is leaving today. She graduated from university this summer and has found a great graduate position and is moving 2 hours away for it. She has worked so hard, done everything she needed to and she is so so excited about her future.

I’m so incredibly proud of her and the woman she has become and I know that this is the natural order of things, we raise them so they can go and live their own lives but I’m also just so sad this morning knowing that she will never “live” here again. She will come for visits and we will visit her but it won’t be the same. I thought her leaving for uni was hard but this is just more final than that was.

I wouldn’t change a thing, she needs to go and live her life and I’m so excited for her to do that but also just incredibly sad this morning.

We have still got her younger brother and sister at home so the house won’t be empty by any means but it still really hard and I don’t know where all that time went!

The OP's point is that she's going to miss her daughter, as do countless numbers of parents when their children leave home for good.

Surely that's abundantly obvious?

There was a thread on here once about the worst thing your child has ever done. One poster wrote “grew up and moved away” 🥹

@Hobnobswantshernameback Bitchplop Waker is my new favourite.

Sure it’s sad they won’t be around on a daily basis but it’s natural for them to go and for you to feel that way. After all it’s a reminder that time is passing and most of life is now behind us.

Possibly she’s not had her coffee yet.
Can’t think of any other reason why someone would be so unable to see another point of view.
I understood you perfectly, @IsItOverYetPlease. The first time.

My daughter has just finished uni and is back at home until she moves on to her next chapter. Like you, I am so proud of the young woman she has become and I know she will thrive - but our little family is everything to me, my favourite place is being with them and I will miss both my kids when they eventually fly the nest. I don't understand parents who can't wait to see the back of them after uni although I appreciate not all relationships are easy. My kids know that they will always have a home to come back to if life throws them a curve ball, no matter how old they are. Just because leaving home is normal and what should naturally happen, doesn't mean you can't feel wistful about it and I can totally relate :-)

You have done a great job raising a well rounded capable adult , but it's OK to feel sad that she's moving away it's natural to feel that way .

"Most life is now behind us"
god mumsnetters are some of the miserable
negative people I have ever met
inhad my eldest at 22
he left at 18
like to think that at 40 most of my life wasn't behind me
dear god we don't all shrivel up and die at 60

Amazing job, OP. I know it is terribly bittersweet. You have every reason to feel all of the feelings you are feeling now.

You’ll have new experiences together and can create new traditions. When she gets settled maybe you can plan an annual trip together. A meetup midway where you both take the train to a village in between and have lunch. A bi-weekly FaceTime for tea or whatever.

I am on the other end now, after leaving many years ago and my mother is moving to be near me. She will be my neighbor. Life is really something.

Everything that comes before the ‘but’ is redundant. You are being unkind.
Ah OP I’m a while off it yet but I know I’ll feel similarly. Be kind to yourself.

You really, really didn’t understand the first time. If you did, you would realise that your comment is redundant as you’re making the exact same point as the person you’re chastising?!

Anyhow, OP, I totally get how you feel - it’s a transitional moment, and normal to have conflicting emotions. When you’re in the trenches of child rearing and teen wrangling, you’re not really focussed on the moment when it will all come to an end - then all of a sudden you’re waving goodbye and wondering how all that time seems to have compressed into the blink of an eye. It’s definitely a little moment of grief, but it does pass. And it’s a wonderful achievement to have raised a happy, confident young woman who’s eager to spread her wings 💐

This.

In my experience sentences that start like this are invariably exactly what they claim not to be.

Im not being unkind = unkind
Not bring rude but = rude
I’m not a racist but = racist
And so on.

op I get your point. It’s such a bitter sweet feeling. In my experience you need to look on this as an exciting new chapter for yourself as well as your dd. That’s the way to make it work I think.

good luck to your dd and to you too

I totally get you OP. I’ve been there. It’s quite a strange feeling. Be proud that you’ve given her the confidence to go out into the world and live her life. One of the hardest things I found was when my son came to visit the first time after moving out and as he was leaving said “well I better be off home”. That hurt but it wasn’t said with any malice. He was only stating fact. He’d flown the nest. It does get easier.

@slippingthroughmyfingers1

I completely understand how you feel. Last week we helped to move DS into his new flat in a city 3 hours away. He starts his new new job tomorrow.

He only graduated a month ago. It all seems to have happened so quickly.

I kept telling myself it would be just like moving him back to uni after the summer break and I was fine until we hugged goodbye and then the tears came (from me)! 😆

She is pleased and proud - see this second sentence of her first post. Strange that a self proclaimed pedant would miss this 🙂

I’m so incredibly proud of her and the woman she has become

You still have 2 at home! It’s much worse when they all leave

@Enko you really did miss the point! @EnjoythemoneyJane was agreeing with you. When she said “Jesus it’s a chat site!” She was exclaiming at the woman who didn’t get the point of the op’s post

I still have Ds at home, but I am wistful at how quickly his childhood went. He had challenges, but I'd like to go back in time to savour it all. September always seems to be quite nostalgic and the start of new chapters for many.

Well done Op your daughter sounds amazing. There will be a hole, but hope you enjoy all the upcoming family events planned.

That was me who said that :-)

It's completely normal to feel some sadness at the end of a life stage. It's clear you're very proud of her and happy for her. That doesn't remove the feelings of sadness that this is the end of an era and her fully moving into adulthood. It's like saying goodbye to your child, because that's not who she is anymore, she is her own independent adult. Saying goodbye to what for many people are the best and most fulfilling years of their life.

I understand completely. My older DS returned to our hometown after university, and then returned back home for a year after a relationship ended. Two weeks ago he moved to Australia, permanently he says. I am happy for him as he is living his dream, but utterly heartbroken at the same time. Like all things I shall get used to it, but it's hard.

Oh my gosh that's massive. Will you be able to visit him? Will he be able to come back and visit?
We all want our children to be happy but crikey that's hard.

Very strange reply Mydogisagentleman
What is your point?????

I understand how you feel op, it’s a big thing. My dd has moved in with her boyfriend and she won’t be coming back. I keep remembering when she was little and it was just us.. I’m so happy for her now, but I do miss her! She’s also very close to her boyfriend’s mum which definitely feels weird..

Well done OP and best of luck to your daughter. The end of a chapter, and hopefully the next one will be just as good