She’s leaving today

[slippingthroughmyfingers1]

My daughter is leaving today. She graduated from university this summer and has found a great graduate position and is moving 2 hours away for it. She has worked so hard, done everything she needed to and she is so so excited about her future.

I’m so incredibly proud of her and the woman she has become and I know that this is the natural order of things, we raise them so they can go and live their own lives but I’m also just so sad this morning knowing that she will never “live” here again. She will come for visits and we will visit her but it won’t be the same. I thought her leaving for uni was hard but this is just more final than that was.

I wouldn’t change a thing, she needs to go and live her life and I’m so excited for her to do that but also just incredibly sad this morning.

We have still got her younger brother and sister at home so the house won’t be empty by any means but it still really hard and I don’t know where all that time went!

I think this is the hardest bit! My dd18 is off to Spain today, only for a couple of months but I’m sat sobbing now! It must get easier?

Why? Why should she feel only that? Why can’t she feel a bit sad too?

Feelings are complex and most of us are capable of feeling proud and sad at the same time, OP is looking for support not to be berated.

In my experience it does get easier! Be kind to yourself and take each day as it comes.

I wish my dd was moving out 😂😂😂
ah bless you op though, I didn’t feel sadness when the dc went to uni, I was just so excited for them. One is still there, one has finished and now home, got a good job locally so no plans to move out at the moment.
Maybe I’ll feel sad when she does, I think I would if she moved far away, we are really quite close.
Sounds like you have lots of nice plans to cross paths in the next few months and yes I imagine for a while it will feel as though she’s just at uni. And you’ve got your other dc to keep you busy.
well done for raising a kid with independence and motivation - it’s great really: even though I can understand why you’re feeling a little sad too 💐

Totally get your point OP, and I'm nowhere near that stage yet. It's the end of an era for you. Even if your overriding feeling is pride, you're still allowed to feel emotional and wistful - the years go by so quickly.

Maybe the point is that we love our children. We spend so many years nurturing them, spending time with them, shaping them, helping them to grow into capable young adults, of course there's an element of sadness at this point (amongst may other feelings) and I really don't understand people who can be so clinical about it.

It seems to be a trend on here these days for the first poster to write a dickish comment like this.

Wish it would stop. It adds nothing to the thread and is tedious to read.

Jesus it's a chat site!!
Was your quote..
Try making your argument without putting others down.

It's weird, isn't it. Feeling proud and sad all at the same time. Mine are both late 30s now and settled, but I remember those intense feelings well. Be kind to yourself - eat cake and chocolate, cry and remember you've given them those strong wings to fly with.

It’s the same every single time on threads on this subject- the OP is told they are ridiculous to be sad and must be proud.

Every single time!

Literally what are you talking about?

Ah, I totally get it. My DD is nearly 16 and I can see on the horizon the day she leaves for uni, and even that makes me sad. I think it's completely normal to be sad about big life changes like that, and mixed with the happiness of what's been achieved. Love wants proximity. It's an end of a chapter. I feel sad just thinking about it, tbf!! It doesn't mean I would ever be less than 100% supportive of my children's independence.

I know exactly what you mean, DS2 moved 400 miles away to start his dream traineeship tomorrow and realistically he is most likely to get Any future jobs equally far away, so he won’t be able to pop in to see us spontaneously. He’s been at home for almost two years pursuing his dream job goal so we are very pleased he has achieved it but it’s been nice getting to spend time with the adult version of him and we will miss him a lot.

I know how you feel. I can remember dropping my DD off at uni as DH was working away on day she left. I dropped off her things to house share. I took her shopping then on for a meal before dropping her back to house. I knew how happy and excited she was and I knew in my heart she probably wouldn't live at home again. She didn't, she graduated, did her masters in a close by uni and then got a job there. Her then bf was there and he got a job there too and they moved in together and I knew she wouldn't be coming home to live again. However I am incredibly proud of her career and she married the bf 8 years later and I now have 2 DGC. You have done a great job raising your DD and it's fantastic she managed to go straight into a graduate job because there are fewer of these available every year. Try to focus on your you get DC still at home and you can still watch your DD do well in life. You might get DGC at so e point in the future.

Great you’re immensely proud of your daughter. Do you think she’d be immensely proud of you for being a twat on the internet?

You have completely missed the point of that poster’s comment. It’s gone so far over your head it’s in space.

Please stop. You’re embarrassing yourself. And derailing the thread.

I don't really understand why she hasn't read these posts, she's still on at me. I can't make it any clearer?

My son lives nearly 2 hours away, my daughter about 2 miles! I miss them both.
But I also think it's a huge change for us to get used to- its like we're not really needed anymore! It does get better!
Be proud. You've brought her up to have the confidence and independence to go off and do their thing,which, when they're little is all we can hope for. It's hard when it actually happens though x

Big hugs! ♥️
My eldest has moved out to live with her boyfriend whilst doing her masters. I have a busy household and a daughter still here but still felt it. No impromptu monopoly games, takeaways,etc. We should have spent more time with her,etc.
Ill say what I presume everyone else has said. Well done for raising your daughter to be a responsible adult and congratulations on her getting a job after graduating. Not an easy task at all.
Be kind to yourself. You are allowed to feel sad at times but try to spend a bit more time on you and with the children you have at home. Although I know it's not easy trying to pin them down. ♥️

Thats lovely, OP.
Thats what most parents hope for their children, I imagine. Graduate jobs are so hard to come by these days, I hear.
Of course you’ll miss her even though you’re happy for her too.
I hope she thrives 🎉

Hugs, @slippingthroughmyfingers1 - I read your post just after my son had just come to show me the new dance move he's 'just invented', and it made me tear up thinking about him growing up and moving out!

Oh come on! Surely you can understand someone being a little sad as well as proud? I lived a very full and independent life after leaving home, and my parents were very proud of me, but I remember my mum bawling as I got on a plane to live abroad the first time, as did I. We were all fine in the future.

I hear ya, OP.
You have given her what she needs. I totally understand it's a big deal for you. Sending hugs.

Ffs let's all ignore the bitchplop wanker and the obtuse twat poster and get the thread back on track
Bittersweet is the exact right word
fot time like this op

Indeed.