Adding trellis to stop neighbour intrusion

[RosesAreRed85]

I live in a 4 in a block. I'm top floor and my garden (private) is the one shown on the left of the photo, surrounded by the fence. Neighbour is beneath and the window shown is her bedroom window. Both fences are mine, previous owner paid for them and for them to be erected.

I get on well enough with downstairs neighbour however the issue is that every time I go out to the garden, she comes out and chats, for a good half hour. She's elderly and I get that she just wants to chat, I have no problem with a short chat now and then, but last time I was out there, I had a whole day free when DC was at their dads and so wanted to get cracking on the garden, she came out 5 separate times, 3 times to chat for ages and will sometimes stand watching me from her bedroom window, which is a little awkward.

I'm not sure if it would be unreaonable of me to heighten the fence a little to give me privacy? I don't want to completely block her light, just her view into my garden! I was thinking of popping a trellis on top, so that light still gets through. Maybe pop some climbing flowers on it. The taller fence that can be seen is 6ft tall, i was thinking of matching the trellis height to this. Local planning permission dictates 6ft 6 inches is the limit that you can have fences, so I don't think I would be breaking any local laws. I'm sure she will complain as she's quite fixed on how she thinks things should be, so I'm not sure if it's unreasonable of me to do this?

A trellis like this still lets in light but gives you some additional privacy, it's not outrageously tall.
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So OP, you don’t feel able to have a conversation with your neighbour and ask her to give you some privacy, because you don’t want to appear rude, but you do feel able to put up a trellis and deal with any questions from her when she wonders why you have done it?

I’m really struggling to imagine how that will go. Are you planning on just erecting it without telling her first? And what do you plan on saying to her after if she asks you why you’ve done it “well I felt I needed a bit more privacy”. And her likely reply “why didn’t you just say so”. It’s bonkers you’d do this before using your words and having a conversation with her.

What about a pergola of some kind so that she doesn’t see you going into the garden ?

She’s still going to hear the door though presumably. Maybe a white noise machine too?

This is what I was thinking of but even bigger holes; like the one I posted earlier. The holes are literally the size of my face. It wouldn't be more than a sort of deterrant to leaning over my fence, as opposed to blocking any light.

unless is it the deeds as a covenant then there is no legal right to view. Right to light must have been enjoyed uninterrupted for 20 years for it to be a legal requirement, Covenants may also limit fence height but not because of the rights of a neighbour.

I think you should avoid placing trellis directly outside her window. Could you not be more proactive / kind? Mary, I want to get on with the gardening this morning, but do come round for tea and cake at 4pm, I’ll have 40 minutes before I pick up the children from their play date. Otherwise, make a subtle barrier further from the window, a standalone planter and trellis with a sun bed, table and parasol on the other side?

You could do bamboo in pots this weekend, then point to your ears if she tries to talk to you through the fronds and say, “ I’m listening to my talking book while I garden Mary, bye”. It’s a tough one as part of me wants to say what would Dolly do? But another part of me remembers that I changed my dog walking route because of exactly the same issue. If you do bamboo in pots you can move/add to. If you go for the trellis all friendly neighbour relationships will be at an end.

Oh bless her, YANBU this would drive me nuts. I'm guessing you tried having ear phones on. If you can't do fencing could you have a row of tall plants in planters.

The best (kindest) option is to tell her the truth straight - you like an occasional chat but not every time you go into the garden. Reinforce that by continuing with what you were doing. When you don't respond , unless she is very thick skinned, she'll take the hint. It's going to be far more awkward if you put up the trellis - but of course, then she won't want to speak to you anyway.

This is really a problem of asserting yourself tactfully so you can maintain good relations. Half an hour chats require you to be joining in the conversation too. Change your behaviour to modify hers.

I think you may have missed an opportunity when she was complaining about the trampoline. It might have been a “nice gesture” to put a trellis up then, so she wasn’t bothered by it. (Maybe encourage the kids to bounce a bit between now and when you get your trellis)

You can get hinged, louvre-style privacy screens so you can adjust how open or closed you want them, but I suspect this neighbour believes that she is entitled to her view of your private garden and will bitch no matter what you do. Put up the trellis and plant some prickly climbing roses or something.

A partial trellis sounds a good idea.

But I also think you need to run the risk of her displeasure a bit. Her views are not more important than your own! Disapproving of the trampoline - You have children, you tried to put it further away, and it's not reasonable of her to make her displeasure so clearly known.

I think you need to be firm but kind - balance giving her some time with valuing your own. Keep taking her to garden centre or whatever, allow one conversation in the garden, but when the time comes to do the sanding, turn your sander off once, keep the conversation short and then say "I really do need to get this done, so I'm sorry, but I'll be zoning out for a while now" with a smile and then ignore her. When she interrupts you playing with the game, say with a smile "We're right in the middle of the game now, it's lovely to talk with you but another time would be better".

How you deliver the sentence can help. Calm and friendly. She might get the huff a bit but she'll soon get over it, if you have a basically good relationship. If she doesn't, then that's on her. You can't let her run you ragged time wise, as she wants to at the moment.

Remember, it's also very rude of her to monopolise your time and stop you working.

The holes are literally the size of my face.

I think you'll discover they're the size of her face! As she peers through to look at you to chat/snoop/mither.

If you want a private garden - you need to offend this persons you object to or move. Your garden is not ''private'' but you can tell neighbour not to trespass on your land. you cannot put up trellis - it will block her light and it will be v. nasty..

You realise that what you get from a window isn’t just light?
Otherwise, people would just put privacy screens on their window and wouldn’t bother with curtains. That get opened EVERYDAY.

In legal terms it comes under right to light legislation. How far from her window is your fence? Even if it’s a metre, trellis comes up as a suggestion. Louvred would be even better if it maintains her light but not the view. Retractable might be a massive clue for her to know you’re outside and ready for a chat!

ah no not the "be kind" brigade

That would be such a horrible solution for the neighbour. She would feel completely penned in when in her own tiny outdoor space

It would be really selfish of you to add the trellis and block her window.

That being said, I sympathize with your desire for more privacy from her. I think sadly that you just have to be a little more direct. Start politely shutting down conversations by making it clear you are busy. You can be nice but firm. It won't be easy, but it will be kinder and more mature than blocking her view.

Put up the trellis and some flowers. Then get a tilting parasol and everyone tore out just open it and tilt and then fold when going back in. Job done and enjoy your life and your children

Right to light has to have been enjoyed for 20 years uninterrupted for there to be any legal right. Even so putting up a trellis may not actaully trigger a legal right to challenge as it may not block out enough light to do so. There is no legal right to view.

I completely understand that you are fed up with the intrusion - I would be too.

I think the idea of bamboo (or similar) in pots is great as an interim measure.

Or you could move the trampoline to her window end of the garden (but not right in front of it), and sit the other side of it.

A temporary screen is another great idea.

If you really dont care about pissing her off, put up a fairly open trellis. But I'm sure she will kick off massively, which might solve your problem anyway because she won't want to speak to you any more!

Pleached shrubs on your side. They will look lovely but create a barrier.

So, you want to block her view rather than have an awkward conversation? But won't she still want to talk and / or want an awkward discussion about the blockage? Blocking neighbours is fine but not by blocking their windows - it's unfortunate your garden is directly in front of her home.

Have a conversation and if that doesn't work, put something there that's temporary, like an awning or parasol that opens out while you're in the garden.

Don't permanently block her windows at that distance, that's crazy.

How come you have no plants on that side of the garden? Plants of various heights would make your garden feel more enclosed and private without needing to fully block off next door. They would also look better from both sides than a trellis would.