What are you up to today if you have a Chronic Illness. Thread 11 🧵Last of the Summer

[MewithME]

Link to last one https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5556429-what-are-you-up-to-today-if-you-have-a-chronic-illness-10-summer-edition

Thank you for being here, friends old and new and sharing our gentle chat, trials and tribulations.

You know the rules though...let's be good and fill up the last one 😊

No I often think if I were a bit more naturally lazy, it wouldnt stress me so much! I think many of us are ‘doers’ by nature and when we can’t ‘do’ it’s incredibly frustrating.
Good you’ve had a few better days but yes slowly slowly sounds like a good plan.

Good job @FuzzyPuffling!

Perfume wise, if you like perfume dupes then I recommend The Essence Vault

I'll check that out. I usually go for Perfume Parlour, I like their small bottles, especially the perfume oils.

I must admit @martha79 that I do loose momentum with jumper knitting once I get to the tricky bits! Counting rows and stitches just isn't as easy as it used to be and if I don't write down exactly where I am, I get lost very quickly 😟

But today I have shaped the front neck and picked up the 100 stitches needed for the collar! (There may be 101 stitches but no-one will notice ...) I am very pleased with myself ☺️

Good luck with the scarf/cat blanket 🧶

Back from work. Absolutely done in and it was an 'easy' day 🙈 Terrible accident this morning so took aged to get in. Hard work doing the drive home too. Also had to get petrol and stuff for packed lunch. They have demolished my beloved local shop so have to go to the tiny spa shop now with the most awkward car park (always an issue getting in and out ) or the big Sainsbury's which is too much 😭

Electrician eventually replied today but I can't manage to deal with it now and already spoke to handyman friend who is coming tomorrow. Hopefully will be ok.

Hope you have all been ok today.

Well done on the knitting @Swanhilde!

I’ve gone to them before but I have really enjoyed the sample box The Essence Vault does, to try all the different dupes and deciding my favourite which is hard

https://www.theessencevault.co.uk/products/the-discovery-set

Oh that does look nice. I'm also a fan of the M&S perfumes, a lot of which are dupes. Been wearing the marshmallow and pistachio ones (meant to be like Kayali) recently.

Oh DD introduced me to the M&S perfumes, there are some lovely ones.

That set looks lovely @JewelleryCat

@TeaAndStrumpets that would do my head in too. Honestly when I die DH will get all of my belongings in our estate with room to spare. If it was him I'd need a 7.5t minimum. He has a garden office just full of Dj equipment, vinyl, computer stuff etc it feels so claustrophobic. My office aka the box room has all my work stuff in it plus it is the dumping ground for everyone else's stuff. I just don't understand why people have so much stuff. It reminds me of elderly people who live alone, die and their kids find bills and receipts from 40 years ago. They then have to get a house clearance company in to get rid. That's my rant for the day.

Oh sympathies! I suppose it would be horribly boring to be married to somebody normal though. I don't mind DH having interests but they need so much kit 😏

We have loads of vinyl of course, books and magazines galore, cameras and a lot of bike and car stuff. Plus no offence to parents of only children but he was very spoiled re model trains and vehicles and we have several drawers full of those. In contrast I was the middle of 5 in a poor household and hardly had anything to take with me when I left home.

The problem increased when father in law died. He was really into stereo equipment so we've now got that in storage, plus the contents of his garage and a spare lathe. I could go on!

It is a constant battle.

@TeaAndStrumpets gosh that is a lot, I feel for you. I'd be frustrated too.

After my DH rant yesterday I had to send him a text message last night thanking him for being a fully functioning adult. He is away with work so not home for a few days hence the text. However I've recently noticed that my step father and my father in law can't function when home alone. They constantly ring my mum and mother in law for the most mundane things. Honestly if I'm away DH never rings me and just kind of works it out for himself. He'll use Google for the washing machine if he needs something washed a specific way or unless it's life or death wait for me to return as examples. The kids are washed and routines followed without constant checking in. I find it bizarre the lack of independence from some men in my life. Is this a middle age man / elderly man thing or just modycoddled men?

My DH is probably what you think of as elderly, ( I expect I am too, a sobering thought ) and he can kind of function independently. Where he does have difficulty is finding things that are right in front of his face, especially in the fridge or larder. This is why when I came back from a few days with my mum, there were 3 open jars of pickle. He can feed himself, keep the house clean, do laundry, look after animals and plants, but if he cannot find something he wants, he just opens a new one, or buys several.

The pickle jars made me smile @danglethedingle

I read the post thinking well my DH is a fairly reasonable functioning adult as he shops, cooks, does the dishwasher daily, the laundry, cleans ( not as well as me and can be untidy!) but thinking about it he does do the inability to find things too especially in the fridge but then so does my DD tbf!

@danglethedingle @TodayIsabetterone yes I am the finder of things in our house, they are either three inches to the left or in a different coloured packet.

@Oioiqueen your DH sounds great!

Mine didn't even know how to operate a washing machine before I got MEcfs which sounds very sexist but he was out at work long hours and incredibly I quite like doing laundry!!

Dishwasher yes. We bought one after I needed extended bedrest with first (unsuccessful) pregnancy and he was so fed up washing up solo (without me to dry!) that he ordered a dishwasher. At the time we didn't even own a TV so it was a great luxury. Priorities!

I feel sorry reading about young mums on MN whose husbands are excused from helping with their own children because they 'go to work'. Even 40- odd years ago DH would get up, bring baby for a feed, take baby away, change nappy. Then in the morning bring me a cup of tea (and make sure I didn't nod off 😉) So me being ill he's just got on with things as needed.

Edit to add re elderly men. My Father in Law was like this, the household jobs were very segregated by sex, he didn't lift a finger. My lovely Dad, on the other hand, would work a very long day in a physical job then come home and help with washing up and hoovering. Same age.

Home from work and in bed with a cuppa ☕

Exhausted 😴

Evening all. Had a virtual away day at work today, some full team meetings, a couple of hours training (I did a course on neurodiversity and wellbeing at events) and a quiz (where I did well on films and general knowledge, and really badly at recognising pictures of famous people).

Just out of the bath, going to do a yoga class then get to bed.

@TeaAndStrumpets he has his moments but of course nobody is perfect. I love how you got a dishwasher before a TV.

I know what you mean about the times with a young baby. When DD was tiny my husband would do similar. I'd go to bed at 7.30pm sleep solidly until 1am just being lightly disturbed whenever she needed feeding. He'd take her away and then at 1am he came to bed and I'd do the shift until 7am. I'd get another hour in bed to sleep whilst he got ready and then he'd go to work. It worked really well and I was always thankful that he just stepped up without hassle. DS meanwhile slept through the night from six weeks haha.

Hi everyone! I'm a bit inconsistent on here lately. Mainly because nothing exciting is happening.
I've just had a random nosebleed this evening and ruined a tshirt that was almost ready for the bin anyway (rips and holes and paint stains) so that's been chucked now. I haven't had a nosebleed in about 20 years so that was a blast from the past.
We got a delivery of 2 new trees today for a garden, a flagpole cherry and crabapple. Then I've ordered a dwarf apple and a multistem tibetan cherry to come bare root in the winter. Hopefully my garden will be a jungle in a few years. Makes up for the disgusting plastic everyone else covers their gardens with around here.
We went on a beekeeping weekend for dhs birthday on Sunday. It was lovely but I was sooo tired after

Your garden is going to be beautiful! Bees are so fascinating.

Fight back against the fake greenery!

Morning all
Quiet one here as osteopath later. Put in my online consult and crossing fingers I get the same GP as last time just for continuity. DH had an appointment yesterday that happened to be with him and he asked how I was getting on and told me to come back to him so fingers crossed.

Got my son coming for an overnight visit and a good friend visiting my area next week and I’m really hoping to spend some time with her. So I just need some days where the pain isn’t overwhelming.

@Oioiqueen DH and I had the exact same routine with our newborns where I’d feed in and go to sleep super early and he’d take the baby downstairs and stay up til around 1. Shift work! I don’t think it entered either of our heads that he wouldn’t take a shift! We were in it together. It makes me sad when I read of partners just not supporting new mums.

@bedfrog Ahh your trees sound fabulous. You’ll soon have your jungle!
We have a huge willow tree at the end of the garden which was here when we moved in alongside a couple more established trees and I think they attracted me to the house! I love watching the seasons change through the window and that we get lots of birds and squirrels.

@TodayIsabetterone it is so sad to hear of women who's partners do absolutely nothing. DH goes to bed later than me anyway so it just made sense. I told him the once that if DD was asleep to bring her up and put her in the bassinet so he could do a hobby or watch TV in peace or something. He told me he enjoyed just having her sleeping on his chest and he'd wrap the two of them in a blanket and watch a movie whilst she slept away. That actually after a day of work he felt it was his time to have cuddles with DD and he loved it apparently.

Had my PIP assessment over the phone today. What an absolute dehumanising crock of turd that was. It took an hour, I finished it cold, shaky and unable to string a sentence together through exhaustion. My MIL took one look at me and banished me to the sofa with a hot drink. For the sake of what may turn out to be £1 a day what a ridiculous process.

Your tree sounds lovely @TodayIsabetterone I hope mine get huge ASAP!!
@Oioiqueen sorry to hear your pip call was so vile. MIL sounds sensible! Take some time to recover. It is dehumanising and awful. I hate people on here who assume you can just ring up and get it for a bit of stress or something. Fools!!
Dr appt today for my dud neck. Expecting nothing but I still always get so worked out and anxious about appts, I hate them. My neighbour rang my bell too earlier so I'm hoping he doesn't corner me as I leave (i ignore the bell now unless it's a delivery)

Hope everyone is having a good day. It's chilly here today, feels like autumn all of a sudden.