Holiday mum keeps sending her son over to us repeatedly

[ItsPriya]

Currently on holiday - 2 week AI with husband and teenage daughter. Had a really busy year and was really looking forward to downtime and just recharging with the 3 of us.
On the second day was relaxing by the pool when a little boy about 4yo dropped his goggles near my lounger. Threw them into the pool for him, he threw them back and we had a little game of catch with them. Really sweet kid, thought no more of it.
Went to the buffet that night and the boy appeared at my feet as I was getting my food, started pulling at my arm, hanging off me whining "play with me" and asking me to go outside with him to play?!
My daughter came up to me and said she'd been passing his parents table and heard the mum say "he's whinging because hes tired, I told him to go play with that woman from earlier." Laughing and drinking while I'm trying to get my food and stop her kid from getting lost or hurt.
Went to sit down, said "I'm eating now, so go back to Mummy." Watched him go back over, his mum looked really annoyed, said something to him and he came back!
He said "my mum said I can sit with you until you're done then we can play."
Tried to eat but he was non stop, picking things up, touching things, whinging - not my child, why am I dealing with this?!
In the end DH walked him back over and firmly said we were trying to eat. Mum had the nerve to ask if our daughter had ever been a toddler.
Anyway, he harassed me at the entertainment that night to the point we left as I couldn't see his Mum so dropped him with the entertainment team. Makes DH very uncomfortable as he's very full on, climbing on our knees, wrapping his legs around us.
Breakfast this morning - he's actually waiting at the double doors and it was a repeat of the previous night. I actually suspect Mum is hiding from us.

What do I do?!

We have had this but having young kids ourselves it makes no difference I'm already watching/ playing with my 2 however given you have no small children id be telling her straight hes your child watch him have you not seen all the kids drowning and falling off balconys I didn't come here with a toddler so I'm not supervising one ! She's a cf !

Oh god I couldn't of ignored the poor boy either hes clearly just desperate for someone to play and a bit of attention that his parents cba to give

It always amazes me how unbothered other parents are abroad when their child clings onto another family. My daughter is an only child so often makes a friend on holiday. One holiday the boy she made friends with didn’t return from the kids club and his parents expected us to know where he was! He was lost in the accommodation trying to find our room to knock for our daughter to play. Our last holiday our daughter made a friend and this child would come and stand at our table whilst we ate, waiting for us to finish. She expected to be able to run off with daughter as soon as she was finished. No chance!

This is what I was wondering. Many, many countries outside of the UK do not have the same stringent safeguarding protocols or even culture that exists in the United Kingdom. Coupled with young adults doing waitressing/lifeguarding jobs in hotel resorts and hotel staff with no real understanding of child protection and a cultural leaning towards a looser approach to what is safe conduct. I taught abroad for over a decade and it was an eye opener. Staff working in schools often didn't have a clue, let alone Leandro working at the bar 🤔

I also forgot that I have my own personal experience of my child being injured on unsafe property in an AI resort. It would be charitable to the hotel staff to say that they didn't care. They almost went out of their way to be as apathetic as possible, as unpleasant and as unhelpful as you could imagine. I complained bitterly about the equipment and they didn't care. In fact, the day after my child's wound had been dressed at a hospital, I showed the manager how bad it was. An hour later, I saw the owner lying beside the faulty equipment sunbathing. He had flung a towel over the offending object and found a spot to lie on. I left a comment on TripAdvisor and they replied underneath it that they felt sorry for my child having a mother like me.

So all the talk of the hotel intervening in some kind of escalation of authority and responsibility, doesn't leave me hopeful, especially after my many years of staying in hotels with children (we travel a lot). I jave seen more clueless, hapless hotel staff who would rather you just go away rather than bother them with this silly problem they don't care about.

Just my (multiple) experiences. Hopefully OP has a better experience than me!

OP on the off chance that this isn't completely fabricated ragebait then I would be holding the hotel culpable as well at this point. I would kick up an absolute stink. It's totally unacceptable that they've shrugged off such a young child being left unattended in the pool. It's common sense that even if he can swim a little he isn't safe. Complain until you're listened to then 1* review on tripadvisor (seems to be the only thing hotels and restaurants care about these days)

Tell the hotel manager

Over familiarity with strangers can be a sign of neglect. Parents don’t seem emotionally attached to be able to just fob him off to any Tom, Dick and Harry. . This is just a sad read. Poor kids

It's almost a shame this wasn't in the UK as at least then you could have alerted child services.

My child is very outgoing & loves meeting new people. He’s not a bit shy, loves talking to other adults as well as kids. But I wouldn’t allow him to do this! We’d be friendly with the other parents & kids too, but certainly wouldn’t leave to DS to get on with it.

We’ve had this happen to us. Made worse by my kids fucking hating it. I just feel sad for the kids.
we once had an entire meal with a child plonked next to us - we had a very very rare night without ours. Yet here we were entertaining someone else’s.
weve ended up being in charge of a small workforce constructing sandcastles, or building water constructions in parks and beaches.

no advice, just solidarity. I don’t know what the answer is, I’m a sucker for the hopeful face.

Poor kid, and poor you! I hope they’re leaving.

Keep us up to date OP. What a nasty family. Just to make the point, it’s not normal what’s happened. No child happily on holiday with their family starts playing with an adult they don’t know who doesn’t have a child the same age. Totally neglected child. Should be reported to child services.

Let's hope they remember they have a child when they leave go to the airport to go home !
Bet they do the same at home and
leave the poor kid to his own devices playing outside.

So sad, I’d do the same except i cannot bare unattended children. I’m the one that offers to hold crying babies on planes so mums can sleep, and I know I would happily give up my holiday to t show a neglected child love. It’s so hard isn’t it. I haven’t been you though. I don’t have older kids.

he Clearly feels safe with you. So sad

I’ve been to AI hotels twice in my life. People like this are why I never would again unless it was five star plus and adults only in a place that meant AI was your best option.

I’d stop being polite about it now. You’ve already made it clear that you’re eating or relaxing and he needs to go back to his mum, so I’d simply say “Sorry, I’m not able to look after you, you need to find your mum” and take him straight back to her. If she keeps sending him over, I’d speak to the hotel staff and explain that you’re being repeatedly left responsible for a child who isn’t yours. You shouldn’t have to spend your holiday supervising someone else’s four year old, especially when you’ve clearly said no.

I totally understand your frustration and I think it's lovely that you've been so kind, though I totally understand your frustration.
Ultimately, if you're the kind of person that just palms your kid/s off on someone else then you're evidently not a very conscientious person that cares about your children. You did the right thing by trying to alert the staff to an unattended child. Whilst it's lovely that you're showing some empathy and humility and I commend you for that, these "parents" need to know that what they're doing is not okay.

See if you can get a photograph of the adults and post it on social media with a suitable comment. Can you find out their names? Name and shame.

Generally speaking if anyone saw a young child at immediate risk they would act swiftly to make them safe. I'm sure OP would do this in this kind of scenario! . However this is an entirely different situation. OP is not responsible for the day to day safety of this child, their parents are, and up to a point so are the hotel staff who will have been trained in health and safety on site. The OP has worked hard and paid for a well earned holiday with her own family and the child's parents are taking the absolute piss. I have met parents like this and they need to be told in no uncertain terms they are putting their own child at risk. All OP did was one friendly interaction and now her holiday is compromised!

This, you’re doing fine. All the people on here who would square up to a massive gang of people who would happily have a fight without even blinking are clearly lying. You’ve told the staff as well, not much else you can do but avoid now.

It’s Wednesday!
Have they gone yet?

Poor child 😞 so hope they are leaving today! And you can relax and enjoy your well earned holiday xx

You should not be buying the child a treat. That could set you up to all kind of accusations !!

Poor child, how very sad.