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Original poster

How many biscuits is a portion?

106 replies

TwinklyGoldReader · 13/05/2026 21:35

Does it depend on the biscuit?! I think the number increases drastically if I’m dipping in a cuppa.

Me and DH have settled on four, but he doesn’t know about the ones I eat before I leave the kitchen…

OP posts:
DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · Today 10:10

HoldMyWine · Yesterday 08:59

Oh did I hit a nerve? The OP asked a question and I gave an answer. People who eat a whole packet of biscuits are greedy.

Show quote history

The OP asked 'how many is a portion'

she did not ask for your judgement, so no, you didn't just give an answer. You made a judgement that says more about you than anyone eating more than 2 biscuits.

A rude, unnecessary, unwelcome
comment.

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · Today 10:12

Nightmanagerfan · Yesterday 11:31

1 surely? It has never occurred to me to eat more?!

😵‍💫😳🙇🏻‍♀️

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · Today 10:21

Selkie33 · 13/05/2026 22:50

@DoYouLikeYourNaneFred I fear, sadly, you may not have been schooled in the art of obtaining maximum flavour from yer jaffa cakes.

There are three parts to the cake, the sponge, the chocolate and the orangey, jelly-ish disc.

Set -up;
A steaming cup of tea, dunk jaffa (precision will be required) to hit the sweet spot where the sponge sooks up just enough liquid to render it floppy (but before it draps into your cup) raise to your mouth and let the sponge just fall in, that's step one!

Obviously the chocolate will have melted in the same dunking manoeuvre so with a swift flick of your tongue (lizard-like) swipe it off the orangey bit, that's step two.

Thirdly and most importantly imho, you're left with a completely naked, delicious jelly disc which, can be left to dissolve on yer tongue upon where it rests, if you have the willpower ofc, until you have a total eclipse.

However, (much along the lines of ye old Rowntree's fruit pastilles) if you can't help but chew, that's also perfectly acceptable. 😉

(p.s. on second thoughts this method may, actually, be better conducted in the quiet privacy of your own kitchen) 😊

I'd urge you to try, just one more time 🌻

eta; 3 minimum is a portion.

Edited

I got a pack of 4, 60p seemed like a big enough investment in the boring little things I'll report back when I've done a condition controlled experiment!

I have a back up biscuit

😂😂

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · Today 10:54

A whole packet, which is why I only buy them - usually Garibaldis orJaffa Cakes - about twice a year.
If anyone gave me e.g. a packet of custard creams, one would be more than enough.

Edit, I forgot M&S Cornish Cruncher cheese biscuits. I can easily scoff a packet in one go, but alas you don’t get very many in a packet.

Selkie33 · Today 11:14

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · Today 10:21

I got a pack of 4, 60p seemed like a big enough investment in the boring little things I'll report back when I've done a condition controlled experiment!

I have a back up biscuit

😂😂

Show quote history

😁am delighted that you are so receptive to the challenge @DoYouLikeYourNaneFred

Unsure that a measly pack of four could be deemed an adequate portion though 😉

Can't understand why I'm feeling a wee bit nervous tbh but do sincerely hope you enjoy (especially as you have a plan B (iscuit) of your own)

Jaffas ftw 😎

MidnightMeltdown · Today 11:26

I always thought 2 was a portion, but I don’t know why I think that.

4 would be about the same calories as a meal, so I guess that would be a portion if you’re having them as a lunch replacement!

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