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How many biscuits is a portion?

123 replies

TwinklyGoldReader · 13/05/2026 21:35

Does it depend on the biscuit?! I think the number increases drastically if I’m dipping in a cuppa.

Me and DH have settled on four, but he doesn’t know about the ones I eat before I leave the kitchen…

OP posts:
DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 15/05/2026 10:10

HoldMyWine · 14/05/2026 08:59

Oh did I hit a nerve? The OP asked a question and I gave an answer. People who eat a whole packet of biscuits are greedy.

The OP asked 'how many is a portion'

she did not ask for your judgement, so no, you didn't just give an answer. You made a judgement that says more about you than anyone eating more than 2 biscuits.

A rude, unnecessary, unwelcome
comment.

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 15/05/2026 10:12

Nightmanagerfan · 14/05/2026 11:31

1 surely? It has never occurred to me to eat more?!

😵‍💫😳🙇🏻‍♀️

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 15/05/2026 10:21

Selkie33 · 13/05/2026 22:50

@DoYouLikeYourNaneFred I fear, sadly, you may not have been schooled in the art of obtaining maximum flavour from yer jaffa cakes.

There are three parts to the cake, the sponge, the chocolate and the orangey, jelly-ish disc.

Set -up;
A steaming cup of tea, dunk jaffa (precision will be required) to hit the sweet spot where the sponge sooks up just enough liquid to render it floppy (but before it draps into your cup) raise to your mouth and let the sponge just fall in, that's step one!

Obviously the chocolate will have melted in the same dunking manoeuvre so with a swift flick of your tongue (lizard-like) swipe it off the orangey bit, that's step two.

Thirdly and most importantly imho, you're left with a completely naked, delicious jelly disc which, can be left to dissolve on yer tongue upon where it rests, if you have the willpower ofc, until you have a total eclipse.

However, (much along the lines of ye old Rowntree's fruit pastilles) if you can't help but chew, that's also perfectly acceptable. 😉

(p.s. on second thoughts this method may, actually, be better conducted in the quiet privacy of your own kitchen) 😊

I'd urge you to try, just one more time 🌻

eta; 3 minimum is a portion.

Edited

I got a pack of 4, 60p seemed like a big enough investment in the boring little things I'll report back when I've done a condition controlled experiment!

I have a back up biscuit

😂😂

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 15/05/2026 10:54

A whole packet, which is why I only buy them - usually Garibaldis orJaffa Cakes - about twice a year.
If anyone gave me e.g. a packet of custard creams, one would be more than enough.

Edit, I forgot M&S Cornish Cruncher cheese biscuits. I can easily scoff a packet in one go, but alas you don’t get very many in a packet.

Selkie33 · 15/05/2026 11:14

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 15/05/2026 10:21

I got a pack of 4, 60p seemed like a big enough investment in the boring little things I'll report back when I've done a condition controlled experiment!

I have a back up biscuit

😂😂

😁am delighted that you are so receptive to the challenge @DoYouLikeYourNaneFred

Unsure that a measly pack of four could be deemed an adequate portion though 😉

Can't understand why I'm feeling a wee bit nervous tbh but do sincerely hope you enjoy (especially as you have a plan B (iscuit) of your own)

Jaffas ftw 😎

MidnightMeltdown · 15/05/2026 11:26

I always thought 2 was a portion, but I don’t know why I think that.

4 would be about the same calories as a meal, so I guess that would be a portion if you’re having them as a lunch replacement!

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 15/05/2026 17:00

Selkie33 · 15/05/2026 11:14

😁am delighted that you are so receptive to the challenge @DoYouLikeYourNaneFred

Unsure that a measly pack of four could be deemed an adequate portion though 😉

Can't understand why I'm feeling a wee bit nervous tbh but do sincerely hope you enjoy (especially as you have a plan B (iscuit) of your own)

Jaffas ftw 😎

🌷💕

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 15/05/2026 17:09

MidnightMeltdown · 15/05/2026 11:26

I always thought 2 was a portion, but I don’t know why I think that.

4 would be about the same calories as a meal, so I guess that would be a portion if you’re having them as a lunch replacement!

Edited

???

4 evil little😂Jaffa cakes is 164 calories

4 vastly superior boarder lemon drizzle melts 332 calories.

ithinkilikethislittlelife · 15/05/2026 17:13

Two. But I could easily eat far more. Mmmm. Biscuits.

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 15/05/2026 17:14

MidnightMeltdown · 15/05/2026 11:26

I always thought 2 was a portion, but I don’t know why I think that.

4 would be about the same calories as a meal, so I guess that would be a portion if you’re having them as a lunch replacement!

Edited

???

4 evil little😂Jaffa cakes is 164 calories

4 vastly superior boarder lemon drizzle melts 332 calories.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 15/05/2026 17:29

Generally 2-4 but if it’s been a stressful day then it’s just however many will make me stop crying

Selkie33 · 15/05/2026 17:34

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 15/05/2026 17:14

???

4 evil little😂Jaffa cakes is 164 calories

4 vastly superior boarder lemon drizzle melts 332 calories.

@DoYouLikeYourNaneFred

Lemon drizzles you say, I raise you their dark chocolate gingers (same calories fer 4) 🤣

FlowerSticker · 15/05/2026 21:53

Selkie33 · 15/05/2026 17:34

@DoYouLikeYourNaneFred

Lemon drizzles you say, I raise you their dark chocolate gingers (same calories fer 4) 🤣

I see the gingers and raise you....
...

Dark chocolate and raspberry

This is where the real good stuff sis...

www.tesco.com/shop/en-GB/products/316543605?srsltid=AfmBOorlPq-C2lpiyHGjeSRv_mGNVqmNIYCXscrvpcO_ol3WHZievmYC

Selkie33 · 15/05/2026 22:11

@FlowerSticker

"Dark chocolate and raspberry" those are delicious too, I do agree but....for me, the actual biscuit is too soft compared to the gingers. 🤭

henlake7 · 15/05/2026 22:24

I think 2 is the official 'legal' single serving size but personally I'd only count that if it was the giant supermarket bakery cookies.
If you are dunking then it's til you run out of tea/coffee or biscuits.

I have no self control though so only buy biscuits if I'm planning to eat the entire packet in a day!

AImportantMermaid · 15/05/2026 23:52

None. The correct response is cake. Half a cake. A proper cake. Or a Costco muffin.

2Rebecca · 15/05/2026 23:54

One or two

2Rebecca · 15/05/2026 23:55

Not a big biscuit person. If I’m hungry I want proper food and if I’m not just tea or coffee is fine

PinkForgetMeNot · 15/05/2026 23:55

notthatoldchestnut · 13/05/2026 21:36

An entire pack of Jaffa cakes obv 😂

I was going to say the same about jaffa cakes.

December2025 · 16/05/2026 08:44

One biscuit per family of four to last a week seems reasonable.
I buy a packet once every six months.

FlowerSticker · 16/05/2026 08:55

December2025 · 16/05/2026 08:44

One biscuit per family of four to last a week seems reasonable.
I buy a packet once every six months.

Have you always been greedy?

December2025 · 16/05/2026 15:50

FlowerSticker · 16/05/2026 08:55

Have you always been greedy?

It's shameful out food consumption last week we only got two meals out of a chicken for eight people.

MidnightMeltdown · 17/05/2026 13:16

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 15/05/2026 17:09

???

4 evil little😂Jaffa cakes is 164 calories

4 vastly superior boarder lemon drizzle melts 332 calories.

Jaffa cakes aren’t biscuits, they’re cakes. The clue is in the name!

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