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How many biscuits is a portion?

106 replies

TwinklyGoldReader · 13/05/2026 21:35

Does it depend on the biscuit?! I think the number increases drastically if I’m dipping in a cuppa.

Me and DH have settled on four, but he doesn’t know about the ones I eat before I leave the kitchen…

OP posts:
HelenaWilson · 13/05/2026 22:45

If I'm a guest in someone else's house, two - but will take one or two more if offered.
At home, as many as I feel like.
When I was growing up, you could take one plain, one fancy, from a box of assorted.

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 13/05/2026 22:48

DanaScullysLegoHair · 13/05/2026 22:40

Did they say how big this biscuit had to be? I'm thinking you could perhaps 'meld' a few together to make a single biscuit 😇

Perhaps she means this one…

How many biscuits is a portion?
Selkie33 · 13/05/2026 22:50

@DoYouLikeYourNaneFred I fear, sadly, you may not have been schooled in the art of obtaining maximum flavour from yer jaffa cakes.

There are three parts to the cake, the sponge, the chocolate and the orangey, jelly-ish disc.

Set -up;
A steaming cup of tea, dunk jaffa (precision will be required) to hit the sweet spot where the sponge sooks up just enough liquid to render it floppy (but before it draps into your cup) raise to your mouth and let the sponge just fall in, that's step one!

Obviously the chocolate will have melted in the same dunking manoeuvre so with a swift flick of your tongue (lizard-like) swipe it off the orangey bit, that's step two.

Thirdly and most importantly imho, you're left with a completely naked, delicious jelly disc which, can be left to dissolve on yer tongue upon where it rests, if you have the willpower ofc, until you have a total eclipse.

However, (much along the lines of ye old Rowntree's fruit pastilles) if you can't help but chew, that's also perfectly acceptable. 😉

(p.s. on second thoughts this method may, actually, be better conducted in the quiet privacy of your own kitchen) 😊

I'd urge you to try, just one more time 🌻

eta; 3 minimum is a portion.

pizzaHeart · 13/05/2026 22:50

I would aim for 2 and hope for the best. With big chocolate cookies e.g Sainsbury’s Taste the difference triple chocolate cookies I would aim for half, most of the time it’s one but it’s good to have an aspirational goal.

How often people eat half pack of biscuits? Is it a warm memory from uni years? I’m at menopausal age and seem gaining weight just from looking at biscuits.

TooBigForMyBoots · 13/05/2026 22:54

That's a philosophical question. It all depends on the biscuit and the circumstances.🤔

I can't give you the answer but it will never be 1.🤯

Selkie33 · 13/05/2026 22:54

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 13/05/2026 22:48

Perhaps she means this one…

or these @SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease 😀

UnaGatita · 13/05/2026 22:55

TwinklyGoldReader · 13/05/2026 21:39

I once saw my sister eat two Jaffa cakes and stop, I haven’t looked at her the same since

I stopped after 10 once… it was a triumphant moment

OneNewEagle · 13/05/2026 22:56

4 or if I’m having some with fruit its 2.

as for Jaffa cakes I’ve banned myself from ever buying them again as it’s the whole pack.

OneNewEagle · 13/05/2026 22:58

Redrosesposies · 13/05/2026 22:23

Nurse at the GP surgery told me I could have one biscuit a week for a treat on a Friday.🤣🤣

Wow! What a treat to look forward to all week lol

HelenaWilson · 13/05/2026 23:10

Wow! What a treat to look forward to all week lol

How many people could limit themselves to one biscuit a week if there was a packet in the house?

And at one a week, wouldn't they have gone stale or soggy before you finished the packet?

canuckup · 13/05/2026 23:12

2

Morepositivemum · 13/05/2026 23:41

All I know is you have to take two mikados out at once (eat one by one but you get two straight away).

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · Yesterday 00:06

Selkie33 · 13/05/2026 22:50

@DoYouLikeYourNaneFred I fear, sadly, you may not have been schooled in the art of obtaining maximum flavour from yer jaffa cakes.

There are three parts to the cake, the sponge, the chocolate and the orangey, jelly-ish disc.

Set -up;
A steaming cup of tea, dunk jaffa (precision will be required) to hit the sweet spot where the sponge sooks up just enough liquid to render it floppy (but before it draps into your cup) raise to your mouth and let the sponge just fall in, that's step one!

Obviously the chocolate will have melted in the same dunking manoeuvre so with a swift flick of your tongue (lizard-like) swipe it off the orangey bit, that's step two.

Thirdly and most importantly imho, you're left with a completely naked, delicious jelly disc which, can be left to dissolve on yer tongue upon where it rests, if you have the willpower ofc, until you have a total eclipse.

However, (much along the lines of ye old Rowntree's fruit pastilles) if you can't help but chew, that's also perfectly acceptable. 😉

(p.s. on second thoughts this method may, actually, be better conducted in the quiet privacy of your own kitchen) 😊

I'd urge you to try, just one more time 🌻

eta; 3 minimum is a portion.

Edited

I appreciate your efforts to seduce me over to the dark side!

Definitely not a procedure to be followed at a new friends house! 😂

I could try again, at home alone & I do have another friend who woukd inhales the other 9 if I'm not a convert!

...

Selkie33 · Yesterday 00:07

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · Yesterday 00:06

I appreciate your efforts to seduce me over to the dark side!

Definitely not a procedure to be followed at a new friends house! 😂

I could try again, at home alone & I do have another friend who woukd inhales the other 9 if I'm not a convert!

...

😉😄

eta & sp.; please do report back, even if you are not seduced your pal will be most delighted to help a friend in need.

Of this I am sure, you'll be her friend fer life 😆

JohnTheRevelator · Yesterday 00:21

This is why I rarely buy biscuits because for me,the entire packet seems like a reasonable portion. 😂

JohnTheRevelator · Yesterday 00:23

OneNewEagle · 13/05/2026 22:58

Wow! What a treat to look forward to all week lol

Probably the same nurse who told my late DM that the reason she wasn't losing any weight was because she ate ONE Cadbury's Twirl a week.

Ghht · Yesterday 00:23

Calorie wise it’s usually 1-2. But my portion is always 2-4 (or more). I don’t see the point in just 1 biscuit.

PeachBlossom1234 · Yesterday 00:34

Growing up in my house the rules were always:
1 is a taste
2 is sufficient
3 is plain greedy.

So the answer is 2. Although I do eat Jaffa cakes by the packet obvs

Remindmeofthebabee · Yesterday 00:42

We have two with a brew in the morning

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · Yesterday 01:08

Selkie33 · Yesterday 00:07

😉😄

eta & sp.; please do report back, even if you are not seduced your pal will be most delighted to help a friend in need.

Of this I am sure, you'll be her friend fer life 😆

Edited

Shame I hadn't been advised earlier as I could have brought 4 home from a meeting this afternoon, when they were trying to rehome them!

I shall go immediately & put a packet in my online order (for Friday) & will report bank over the weekend 🤗

Flatandhappy · Yesterday 03:09

2 unless they are Cadbury’s chocolate fingers in which case the packet.

HoldMyWine · Yesterday 04:46

2, 4 is greedy

Missey85 · Yesterday 05:06

The whole pack I can't leave biscuits behind 💕💕

HappyHacienda · Yesterday 07:38

How many pips on a strawberry?🍓

FlowerSticker · Yesterday 07:42

1 or 2... Depends

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