DNA results: lied to about origins by both parents

[Greenwitchart]

I did a DNA test with ancestry because I suspected as an adult that both my parents had not been honest about their family background.

I already knew my mother had hidden the fact that she was an illegitimate child as my grand father was married and had another family when she was born. She always told me with a straight face that the reason she did not have her father surname was a mistake at the registry office...

Then the DNA test confirmed the man who my father claimed was his father was not. It also revealed that alongside my Italian, English, Scottish and German DNA I also have a 23% DNA from a Maghreb country so that confirms as well the fact that he is a product of an affair my grand mother had.

This means I have a random surname and relatives on both sides I have never met and a different heritage/ethnic background I was never made aware of and could not enjoy or learn about.

It confirms my suspicion but I am also angry. My father is dead and I have no contact with my mother so there won't be any big showdown. But it still leaves me with some turmoil.

I wonder if anyone else has gone through similar and how you coped with this.

We don't choose our ancestors, and quite frankly they don't choose us either. We get what we get and we go from there.

If it's causing you so much anger and sorrow, maybe consider therapy to get to the root cause.

It's never too late to connect with the cultures of your ancestors.

Ultimately, however, your identity must be grounded in the reality of your life, not the nationality or culture of great grandparents or other ancestors.

Edited - typo