Things you have done to make your life better/calmer

[PersephoneParlormaid]

Ive just been reading a post where someone is talking about doing things, or stopping things, to make life easier and calmer, so I thought I’d ask what you have done to hopefully help and inspire others.
For me the loft being jammed packed was really weighing on my mind and causing low level stress for years. So a couple of years ago, in the spring when it’s cooler/warmer, I committed to cleaning it out. It was hard work but I was ruthless, and all that’s up there now is the kids toys and Xmas decorations. I can’t tell you how much happier it’s made me feel getting it done. I think it was reading about Swedish death cleaning that inspired me.
Another thing I do is regularly unsubscribe to emails, especially after Xmas. I couldn’t see the things I needed to see for all the crap in there.
Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.
And I gave up drinking. It was affecting my sleep and making me so tired the day after. I honestly don’t miss it.
Finally, I say no. If I’m asked to do something I often say no straightaway and then think about it. If I decide to then do it that’s fine. Having a clear calendar with empty days to do nothing is bliss in my book.

@Cocomelon67 Iread your post and felt so sad and also happy for you - my 11 year old autistic daughter is insisting on staying at her totally unsuitable mainstream school and it breaks my heart daily.

At least one weekend a month, two if I can, with NO plans. Just staying at home. It's made me so much calmer and I feel like I can enjoy the house properly.

I bring up a small bottle of milk when I'm going to bed. It doesn't go off overnight.

I work for myself, and in my diary the last week of every month has a big line through it - no meetings, no site visits, no nothing except getting my head down and getting work done. I do take client phone calls and emails, but always say I'll get back to you on this next week, unless it's something really urgent (which it almost never is).

It started as the American "closed office" idea - a day where you are free to get on with your workload with no internal or external meetings, and that worked so well I have extended it to a full week :)

Oh and not watching the news. Too depressing.

Deleted Temu, Shein and Ali Express on Old Years Night and am committed to not using them this year. All the little extra tat bits that cost pennies but are really just more rubbish and tat to fill my house, and it all adds up.

Have started the de-clutter, trying to work little and often so if I'm down putting the kettle on I'll do a drawer in the kitchen, if I have longer then a cupboard and then being ruthless in what goes...the thermos that only works 50% of the time, gone, do I need 3 teapots, no! Baby cutlery for my child who's almost 7, gone!
I've found now the clutter is gone I'm really trying hard to keep things tidy.

This year I'm investing in the house as well, yes i'd rather have a holiday but the bathroom definitely needs done and the soffits and fascias are causing problems for the attic...all feels a bit grown up!

I stopped talking to my inner monologue and took control.

I decided in the afternoon that i wasn't going to snack or eat chocolate that evening so when after dinner the inevitable wheedling of "maybe just one square of chocolate?" started I could shut it down and not spend all.noght truing to resist temptation, like I had to say No countless times and make a million little decisions to resist: it was just a no, I decided that earlier when I wasn't tired and worm out, move on.

I also learnt that I didn't need to be motivated to do something, I just needed to get up off my arse and start doing it and don't let my thoughts overcomplicate it. I also don't usually need to buy stuff to do stuff. Course I'd like lots on nice new sorting out boxes but rather than making a task to go put shopping, I can sift and sort and do the shit work first and then use cardboard boxes I already have or "treat" myself to buying the right boxes. Rather than buying nice boxes and coming home and thinking...nah! Not doing that now, need to start making tea.

Solidarity.

I thought it would be a short-term thing but it's my new normal and has been for a couple of years. It's remarkably demanding.

I do a lot of self-care now.

Not watch the news

I am fortunate enough to be single and with adult children and a mortgage free house. Otherwise I couldn't have done what I did.

I realised I could either have time or money. I chose time. I left a job ten years ago and went part time into retail. It paid me enough for what I need and gave me the luxury of time and a limited ability to CHOOSE when to work. I did late shifts so I never had to wake to an alarm clock ringing, even when I had work I had the whole day to do what I wanted and worked those hours when I would normally just have sat down and put the TV on.

Then I took early retirement from that. I am living on a very limited income, but I have time to write my books (which make me money to live on because I don't qualify for a pension yet) and I have all the time in the world to enjoy what's left of my life.

I know how lucky I am to have been ABLE to choose to live on not much money (because I have a roof over my head) but having the time to do what I like in is worth it to me.

I am on a mission from this week to declutter the household paperwork files, and then tackle the loft. What we haven’t used in these 12 months is going to be chucked out.

I am also going to stop reminding OH to write his families birthdays cards! The dates are all on the calendar and all the cards are bought and allocated……..why do I have to remind him every bloody time?!?!

Time for yourself is so important

After clearing out the stuff of my late mother/sister in law/brother (who was a hoarder), I went through my house like a dose of salts and got rid of lots of stuff that I really don't need. It was very therapeutic. Trying to get DH to clear his shed is a different story though!
I walk the dog in the woods most days. I keep a sketchbook and draw and paint.
I learned how to say 'no'.

I go to bed earlier and set up my alarm early,
i need Time to get ready to leave the house

I agree actually, it feels very social media influenced. Like, would you say “Right kids, help me reset the kitchen” or to your DH “oh shit we forgot to reset the kitchen last night” 🤣

But love this thread!

another one who doesnt watch the news
i listen to the news on the radio but find that tolerable
i do listen to the birds

I realised this is a privileged position, but working 4 days a week. Having a day to "reset" 😁 the house, taking time to read, go for a coffee, run errands. It means I'm a lot more able to kick back and be present with dc on weekends

Buying less and decluttering often as I go along.

Not answering work emails after work hours. Going to the office more (really!) as I have nice colleagues and a nice work environment, it makes my working day feel contained.

My DF died recently and the paper work he left was unbelievable, including bank statements from the 80’s.
So when I had dealt with that, I tackled my own. I’ve got a file for everything, and anything that’s not within the last 12 months was thrown out. I’m determined to make it easier for my kids when the time comes. That was one of the reasons I tackled my loft, I didn’t want to leave it for them to do.

I just wanted to say how heartwarming is that you are all doing things to make your life better. We all seem to be pushing back against SM, consumerism and pressure from work/family.

My phone is always on do not disturb - apart from phone calls.

• Moved away from a fast paced city to a bigger, cheaper house in the country. People are friendlier, pace of life is slower, we're no longer tripping over one another and released equity so have paid off a chunk of the mortgage.
• Minimised extra curricular activities for the kids like @violetcuriosity - this really helped! I'd love to do the bedtime thing, how old were your kids when this started? We're still very much in the bedtime battle, then shattered kids in the morning and it's not my fave at all.
• Limit ourselves to one commitment per weekend most of the time
• Quit social media.
• All phone notifications are off, group chats are locked, phone isn't allowed in the bedroom, have at least two weeks off over Christmas and switch it off if I'm on holiday. No smart watch or anything like that buzzing at me.
• Massively decluttered
• Weekly meal rotations so we don't really have to think, just open the spreadsheet tab for that week and shop/cook accordingly (variety is of course allowed at any point if you have the energy for it!)
• Had therapy which helped me get distance from toxic people and remember your urgency is not my urgency. Respond to things at a pace which works for me and my household.
• Inspired by a few comments above....I stopped having an opinion on how other people live their life, the language they use, the way they dress, whatever that may be and have better boundaries about who I allow to have an opinion on what I do/wear/say. Amazing how freeing it is to stop caring so much about things that are absolutely nothing to do with you. Has definitely made me more content.
• Tried to notice more of the small things. I was never going to commit to a happiness journal or anything like that, but even just noticing has made me feel more content. Happiness seems to require practice.
• Like @xSideshowAuntSallyXx started a budget spreadsheet about 4 years ago - has helped us realise we were spending on stupid things like subscriptions we've forgotten to cancel and insurance we hadn't shopped around for, as well as highlighting how much little spending here and there was adding up. For anyone considering this we started with an app called Snoop which was a game changer, then eventually switched to a spreadsheet which we update periodically. Not as religiously as it used to be as we've created good habits now.
• Don't buy anything spontaneously. I add it to a wishlist and if I still want it in a week or two then I'll buy it.
• Have a whiteboard in the kitchen for the immediate to do list. This one is mixed as sometimes seeing it is overwhelming, but it's better than forgetting things!

Where I could be better:

• committing to physical activity outside of the house for myself, preferably something with a social element

Bought weights & bands , exercise at home now instead of classes & gym .No feeling guilty if I can’t make a class . Much prefer it .
Came off on line dating , feel so much better for it 😊.
Estradot hrt patches were not working for me , switched to lenzetto spray , Game changer !
Switched to Decaf coffee .

❤️

ooh care to share any more bathroom tips @Mothership4two ? We're planning a bathroom refurb (DIY low budget!) don't want to make too many mistakes! thanks