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Things you have done to make your life better/calmer

428 replies

PersephoneParlormaid · 09/01/2026 06:55

Ive just been reading a post where someone is talking about doing things, or stopping things, to make life easier and calmer, so I thought I’d ask what you have done to hopefully help and inspire others.
For me the loft being jammed packed was really weighing on my mind and causing low level stress for years. So a couple of years ago, in the spring when it’s cooler/warmer, I committed to cleaning it out. It was hard work but I was ruthless, and all that’s up there now is the kids toys and Xmas decorations. I can’t tell you how much happier it’s made me feel getting it done. I think it was reading about Swedish death cleaning that inspired me.
Another thing I do is regularly unsubscribe to emails, especially after Xmas. I couldn’t see the things I needed to see for all the crap in there.
Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.
And I gave up drinking. It was affecting my sleep and making me so tired the day after. I honestly don’t miss it.
Finally, I say no. If I’m asked to do something I often say no straightaway and then think about it. If I decide to then do it that’s fine. Having a clear calendar with empty days to do nothing is bliss in my book.

OP posts:
godmum56 · 12/01/2026 10:17

Cocomelon67 · 09/01/2026 08:00

Clear outs always make such a difference- but feel overwhelming to actually do. When I’ve done them I feel like a physical weight has lifted!

I have got a mantra. "It didn't get like this in a day; you won't sort it out in a day"

Hankunamatata · 12/01/2026 10:26

Brought delivery pass for supermarket and have scheduled supermarket deliveries a month ahead.

Put in the basics I need then use Alexa to add.

I'm spending so much less as no impulse buying, much less food waste, no more dreaded shopping trips and schedule for weekend when everyone home so family helps put it away.

I didn't think it could make a difference but it really does

babyproblems · 12/01/2026 10:43

Vagal nerve massage (on/in the ears).
honestly magic for stress / panic and sleep!!!!

EuclidianGeometryFan · 12/01/2026 10:44

Rebaxis · 10/01/2026 07:14

What are you watching from the 80s?
I was a kid in the 80s and would like to watch tv shows from that time, but can't think of any.
When my mum used to watch tv in the evenings, I'd be drawing or playing, and I remember the tv shows were all gentle, slower paced, quiet, just people acting and talking.
Nowadays all I can find online tv is fast paced, loud, noisy, shouting, shrieking, flashing, bright shows that send my brain into a frenzy of stress. And even if I do find a series that's only about the acting, the storylines are all so traumatising or disturbing.
I long to watch tv but I can't find anything gentle, calm or simple to watch.

Explore the BBC iPlayer (assuming you have a TV licence).
There is loads of stuff not on the main menus - use the search facility, but you need to guess what words to search on.

'The Detectorists' was lovely and gentle.

Crikeyalmighty · 12/01/2026 10:50

godmum56 · 12/01/2026 10:17

I have got a mantra. "It didn't get like this in a day; you won't sort it out in a day"

Ha - so true, same applies to weight/dieting -

Woodywig · 12/01/2026 11:08

Great thread.

A few of mine.

Got rid of most social media (only mumsnet, Reddit & linked in for work).

I don’t scroll the news / my phone on the train / commute to work - instead I use the precious time to read books.

And a big one- When my eldest moved on to secondary school I moved my two youngest to a different primary school much closer to home meaning we walk every day - rain or shine. It’s a lovely park / canal walk that takes 30 mins (round trip) and it’s the best start to the day for all of us. I hated contributing to the awful school run / gridlock and found it super stressful.

Floofle · 12/01/2026 11:11

Rebaxis · 10/01/2026 07:14

What are you watching from the 80s?
I was a kid in the 80s and would like to watch tv shows from that time, but can't think of any.
When my mum used to watch tv in the evenings, I'd be drawing or playing, and I remember the tv shows were all gentle, slower paced, quiet, just people acting and talking.
Nowadays all I can find online tv is fast paced, loud, noisy, shouting, shrieking, flashing, bright shows that send my brain into a frenzy of stress. And even if I do find a series that's only about the acting, the storylines are all so traumatising or disturbing.
I long to watch tv but I can't find anything gentle, calm or simple to watch.

Have you seen the old series of "All creatures great and small"? That's lovely and chill

Woodywig · 12/01/2026 11:12

BusiBo · 12/01/2026 05:13

Got a shared calender app with my other half.

Before that, I kept all appointments, birthdays, reminders ect in my paper diary which meant I was dealing with the logistics and reminding him what we've got going on. Now it's in the shared app... its a shared responsibility and I feel much less stressed.

Great idea - I’m going to do this!

ThatIcyPoet · 12/01/2026 11:16

Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.

Oh, I agree with this one!! First of all, it's wasteful. Secondly, it's just unnecessary in this day and age as we never look at them twice and most people prefer online communication and cards just end up being shoved somewhere and forgotten about or maybe regifted (only to be forgotten somewhere else instead!). You can write a cute message as all the communication happens via Whatsapp and whatnot, or make a video greeting card if you feel like you absolutely must (and send it via Whatsapp or email as well) but buying a physical card isn't a necessity anymore.

My own achievement is about believing people when they tell me who they are. If someone does on and on about how wrong of a person they are, how moody and strange they are, how I won't be happy with them etc, I believe them and leave them be. I used to try and prove they were actually great and amazing only to find out they were right the whole time, so now I just skip this part and believe them right away. If you say you aren't good for me, you are not, bye.

deathbyprocrastination · 12/01/2026 11:58

This is a great thread. Hoping to use lots of these ideas but at the moment just chipping away at the decluttering - trouble is the rest of the family keep bringing more stuff in! But I do feel a huge difference when there is less stuff around and I just don't want to spend the rest of my life tidying the house so owning less is the goal.

I try really hard now not to feel obliged to answer messages immediately. WhatsApp is such a time suck! I've also deleted Insta & FB.

Really interesting to see how many people talk about giving up alcohol. I'm not a big drinker (e.g. no alcohol at all during the week) but did notice over xmas/new year that it crept up a bit and didn't make me feel (or look!) great and reading how many of you have knocked it on the head altogether is inspiring me.

stargirl27 · 12/01/2026 12:00

turned off notifications on all apps, unsubscribed from emails, only responding to things when it suits me!

Raisondeetre · 12/01/2026 12:06

Woodywig · 12/01/2026 11:12

Great idea - I’m going to do this!

How do I do this?

Raisondeetre · 12/01/2026 12:08

Owl55 · 11/01/2026 18:55

Bed needed replacing for years so bought a premier inn direct bed , new pillows and duvet and it has made such a difference to my quality of sleep , should have done it years ago .

Was this recently as I think they have stopped using Hypnos mattresses.

Allsigns · 12/01/2026 12:20

Raisondeetre · 12/01/2026 12:06

How do I do this?

Do you have a google account? Can share a calendar on there. Otherwise there are many apps and options out there. Just both need to register.

Mothership4two · 12/01/2026 12:20

itsmeagainagain · 12/01/2026 10:11

ooh care to share any more bathroom tips @Mothership4two ? We're planning a bathroom refurb (DIY low budget!) don't want to make too many mistakes! thanks

Nothing that clever, just biggish square shiny tiles and loo/sink/bath/shower door/cupboard with a lot simpler designs than before with less nooks and crannies. We also covered the wooden floor with waterproof wood effect laminate. Got rid of a lot of the clutter too - had a few decorative items.

Good luck with your refurb

ICanSpellConfusionWithaK · 12/01/2026 12:25

oh I have a long list!

cleared out all the cupboards etc of shit we don’t need and sold / donated / threw it (and the loft!)

started giving people the same energy they give me

deleted social media

got 2 dishwashers

stopped seeing my poisonous SIL and dramatically reduced interactions with PIL.

Bath, PJs and brush teeth straight after dinner so all I have to do is at bedtime is… go to bed! Mornings are better too as now I get an extra 45 mins without a shower and hair wash

changed work packed lunch to a pot of houmous, crackers, pot of falafels and a yoghurt so I don’t have to make anything and houmous and falafels last 3 days.

SapphireSeptember · 12/01/2026 12:26

Agree with the no men thing. Being a single mum is hard (I've been doing it since day one) but I've been living on my own for years, despite being in relationships, and I can't be doing with the hassle. The one I did live was a monumental drain on my time, energy and resources. Don't have the time, energy or inclination to even think about dating. I read threads on here and thank the Lord I'm single.

sweetpickle2 · 12/01/2026 12:28

Turned off all notifications, everywhere, on everything.

Shared cal with my DP.

Stopped working 9-5 eight hour days just because that's the 'norm'- I have ADHD and my brain doesn't want to start work till about 11am and probably only for about 4 hours a day. I now just sit down to work at 1. (I work for myself so am able to do this).

Similar to above, if I find myself procrastinating and not starting work I don't stay sat at my desk pretending I'm working. I accept it's not happening and log off.

PositiveLife · 12/01/2026 12:28

I did a big declutter just before Christmas. I find it's a good time to do it as I can then see if the kids need anything (particularly clothes) and buy in sales if they don't get it for Xmas.

Every December I set up a 'spreadsheet' on paper for yearly bills and check that savings account is on track. Any extra gets paid off the mortgage in the new year.

This year I was gifted a happiness journal so I'm doing that. I don't think it's the happiness bit that's helping but the general steps of planning the week out and daily to do lists has reduced the stress a bit.

Asking dp for help is a big one. I tend to feel I shouldn't ask him to help with housework cos it's my house and he tends to worry I'll be offended if he picks up the hoover and stuff. Now he knows I don't mind him helping and I feel I can say when I've got a lot on and need more help

CelestialCandyfloss · 12/01/2026 12:30

Stopping drinking alcohol is the biggest one for me. Feel so much better, no anxiety, better moods, better sleep, etc etc. It's not easy in our booze-soaked culture, but it's massively worth it. Quitting booze has also led me to reassess my consumption in general, so this year I'm only buying the essentials for clothing, gifts etc. Not wasting money on crap. Decluttering what I have in preparation for hopefully moving next year.

SapphireSeptember · 12/01/2026 12:34

@Rebaxis Last of the Summer Wine, The Good Life, Keeping Up Appearances, My Hero, Heartbeat, As Time Goes By, Goodnight Sweetheart, are all ones I can recommend. 😊

Owl55 · 12/01/2026 12:38

Yes recently bought the 2000 mattress with gel which are in the Premier Inns made by Silentnight , some good offers /extras .

Sam9769 · 12/01/2026 12:40

Went to slimming world for motivation. Didn't follow their recipes but did cut out all ultra processed foods inc alcohol. Lost 3 stone in five months.
Health has improved, sleep apnea gone, TSH reading reduced from 5.1 to 0.99, cholesterol level reduced from 5 to 4. Gone from a size 14-16 back to a size 10.
Got a new wardrobe of clothes and feel much better overall!

Will now follow some of the decluttering advice on this great thread!

smilingontheinside · 12/01/2026 12:40

MeouwKing · 12/01/2026 00:11

Retire

Yes another thing I did. Didn't care that my monthly income would drop. I have enough to cover what I need and dont find the need to buy "stuff". Always thought I'd never "cope" without my job but now I dont know how I worked and stressed for so long. My days are full of pleasurable activities (especially after my divorce 😜)

godmum56 · 12/01/2026 12:42

Floofle · 12/01/2026 11:11

Have you seen the old series of "All creatures great and small"? That's lovely and chill

I am not keen on the old series because the rules about what could be done to animals for filming were very different. I accept autres temps but don't want to watch it.