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Things you have done to make your life better/calmer

428 replies

PersephoneParlormaid · 09/01/2026 06:55

Ive just been reading a post where someone is talking about doing things, or stopping things, to make life easier and calmer, so I thought I’d ask what you have done to hopefully help and inspire others.
For me the loft being jammed packed was really weighing on my mind and causing low level stress for years. So a couple of years ago, in the spring when it’s cooler/warmer, I committed to cleaning it out. It was hard work but I was ruthless, and all that’s up there now is the kids toys and Xmas decorations. I can’t tell you how much happier it’s made me feel getting it done. I think it was reading about Swedish death cleaning that inspired me.
Another thing I do is regularly unsubscribe to emails, especially after Xmas. I couldn’t see the things I needed to see for all the crap in there.
Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.
And I gave up drinking. It was affecting my sleep and making me so tired the day after. I honestly don’t miss it.
Finally, I say no. If I’m asked to do something I often say no straightaway and then think about it. If I decide to then do it that’s fine. Having a clear calendar with empty days to do nothing is bliss in my book.

OP posts:
NewCushions · 09/01/2026 11:26

Meal planning. I don't enjoy it at all, but I've learnt that spending that 20 minutes once a week, then doing the online shopping accordingly, makes my days and evenings 3000x better and I'm no longer constantly thinking about what we need for dinner, what I need to buy etc. And actually, we eat better and more interesting and diverse food .

When I could afford it, I had a monthly massage. I'm hoping to go back to that at some point this year. Or even fortnightly. It was an amazing luxury and really helped me to feel grounded and calm the rest of the time.

NewCushions · 09/01/2026 11:29

sidneytweeney · 09/01/2026 08:33

Sorry to go off topic but could you say which hoovers they are please

I agree re robo vacs and plan to get one for upstairs this year. My advice is wait until the black friday type sales (there might still be a few post christmas sales). I've had a few Eufys now (and I agree - teh tech gets better ALL THE TIME), and I've always got better prices buying on sale. Especially if you buy one or two generations behind the most modern ones. they're still dazzingly impressive but unless you have 5 inch carpets, you really dont' need ewhatever the newest one is.

ThatWildHedgehog · 09/01/2026 21:36

Using slow cooker for family meals, its been a life saver while returning to work after Mat Leave.
Prioritising rest or sleep, id used to feel so guilty for choosing to have a nothing/lazy day, and would carry on to the point of burnout, but recently ive been adapting to the idea to make time to rest and ive become loads more productive from it.
Drinking more water also. Ice cold. It literally gives an energy wave through me.

PersephoneParlormaid · 10/01/2026 06:51

Thank you for your replies. I stopped watching the news during covid and never went back. There’s nothing I can do about it so why spend your time worrying.
Many years ago I gave back the job to DH of presents and cards for his family, one less thing for me to think about and organise.
Id love a robo vac, and I need to get into yoga.
Its nice to see that lots of us are setting boundaries and saying no.
Over Xmas I was off work and found that there’s a luxury in getting up in the morning and spending all morning in your PJ’s doing very little. In future I’m going to protect my time and have lazy mornings as often as possible.

OP posts:
monty2020 · 10/01/2026 07:05

Changed my phone number and stopped my toxic family contacting me. The number of disgusting messages I woke up to over the years was horrific.

SorryNotSorry00 · 10/01/2026 07:06

Cooking a dinner that lasts for two days where possible. Eating the same thing two days in a row isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but it lessens stress and I quite like knowing the food is prepared already on the second day.

Setting aside out a specific amount of stuff to dump/give to charity each day when things get too much. This could be a small shopping bags worth but it keeps the momentum going rather than overwhelming myself with a big clear out, getting distracted and then demotivated as a result.

Making less time both mentally and physically for toxic people in my life. Trying to remind myself that I’m better off without them even if it means being alone and lonely at times.

Silverbirchleaf · 10/01/2026 07:08

My first thought was going through my emails and unsubscribing from companies that I’ve ordered through. It’s amazing how much easier emails are when you only get ‘quality’ emails.

unsync · 10/01/2026 07:08

Divorce, weight loss and exercise. I hadn't realised how much being obese was literally weighing me down - physically and mentally.

I took up a form of Hatha yoga last year and it has made a huge difference to my mental health. I also now do sound meditation. Being able to find calm when outside is anything but is really beneficial.

This year I'm going to focus on 'stuff' and the negative impact too much of it has.

Forty85 · 10/01/2026 07:08

The absolutely most transformative has been deleting messenger app. My younger, alcoholic sister would message me on it all day every day constantly moaning and requiring support. Ive tried to help her for 20 years and nothing has gotten better and it was causing me so much stress especially when I was in the office getting a barrage of messages. She doesn't seem to message much when it needs to be text or WhatsApp and I feel like a huge dark clouds been lifted from over me.

Stopped drinking, I didn't drink much maybe once a month but the hangovers and the anxiety it gave me for days after wasn't worth it.

Deleted Facebook and instagram apps, reading my kindle more instead.

Got really good quality new bedding and pillows and a duvet, sleep is so much better now.

Only have sets of really nice matching pyjamas now, for some reason getting them on and getting into such a comfy bed to read my kindle before sleep just makes me feel calmer.

My next aim is to join up to reformer pilates but I just need to get the confidence to go that first time.

Houndsahollering · 10/01/2026 07:14

Online food shop
Having husband take the dogs and himself to his parents for a few hours every/every other weekend - the difference that just not having anyone under my feet or wanting something from me for a few hours has done wonders for my stress levels.

Rebaxis · 10/01/2026 07:14

Nitgel · 09/01/2026 07:55

Watch tv from the 60s 70s and 80s. Better storylines. Intelligent and no loud soundtracks.

What are you watching from the 80s?
I was a kid in the 80s and would like to watch tv shows from that time, but can't think of any.
When my mum used to watch tv in the evenings, I'd be drawing or playing, and I remember the tv shows were all gentle, slower paced, quiet, just people acting and talking.
Nowadays all I can find online tv is fast paced, loud, noisy, shouting, shrieking, flashing, bright shows that send my brain into a frenzy of stress. And even if I do find a series that's only about the acting, the storylines are all so traumatising or disturbing.
I long to watch tv but I can't find anything gentle, calm or simple to watch.

Userxyd · 10/01/2026 07:26

Rebaxis · 10/01/2026 07:14

What are you watching from the 80s?
I was a kid in the 80s and would like to watch tv shows from that time, but can't think of any.
When my mum used to watch tv in the evenings, I'd be drawing or playing, and I remember the tv shows were all gentle, slower paced, quiet, just people acting and talking.
Nowadays all I can find online tv is fast paced, loud, noisy, shouting, shrieking, flashing, bright shows that send my brain into a frenzy of stress. And even if I do find a series that's only about the acting, the storylines are all so traumatising or disturbing.
I long to watch tv but I can't find anything gentle, calm or simple to watch.

Some gentle comedy I’d recommend from any era is Fat Friends, Young Sheldon, Modern Family, Madame Blanc Mysteries, The Durrells, Parenthood

SunsetInDorset · 10/01/2026 07:35

I don't drink alcohol any more, don't miss it and feel better for it
I locked all group chats on WhatsApp so I can look when I want to but not have them there when I open the App
I don't watch the news any more, I find hearing bits on the radio much more relaxing and think we don't need all the graphic imagery
I spend less time on my phone and more time doing stuff, walking, reading, listening to music, seeing family etc

Silverbirchleaf · 10/01/2026 07:39

Userxyd · 10/01/2026 07:26

Some gentle comedy I’d recommend from any era is Fat Friends, Young Sheldon, Modern Family, Madame Blanc Mysteries, The Durrells, Parenthood

Shakespeare and Hathaway - can I add this to the list

Cheezewizz · 10/01/2026 07:41

I don’t read/watch the news
i declutter the house every few months, it’s much easier to keep the house clean with no clutter.
i dont have instagram or TikTok (I do have fb so I can use the free up pages and marketplace but have no friends)
i do a load of washing every day even if it’s small so the laundry doesn’t build up. Hang it all (apart from pjs) on coat hangers when wet and then it goes straight in the wardrobe when dry, made life much easier

WorriedMillie · 10/01/2026 07:45

Some great ideas, thank yoi!
Mine are mostly things I do to simplify my home life (I’m neurodivergent, so easily overwhelmed)
-Decluttering is an ongoing process, but I’m getting there. Last year I gave a load of craft stuff to our local scrap store and I’ve felt much more creative since!
-Systems for things around the house. My stuck point with washing was sorting it and putting it away. Now I let it build up for a few days and pre-sort before putting it in the machine. Then hang all of the similar stuff up together and it’s a doddle to put away.
-Gave up ironing and dry stuff on wooden hangers. OH irons any shirts he needs for work
-Meal planning and food prepping, so cooking after work feels easier
-Having a running shopping list on my phone, set out in categories so it’s easier to go around the supermarket.
-Making a pledge not to leave anything for best- I had an accumulation of nice shower gels etc and using Radox!
-Having better boundaries overall and being mindful of saying “yes”. I’m a rescuer by nature, so it’s been hard, but I’m getting better. Even when texting (necessary) lpeople who has a tendency to be a bit needy, I word the text so it doesn’t invite a reply. I also pace replies to certain people
-That said, helping others is important to me, but I can do this in a way that’s manageable and not too demanding. I do a bit of ad hoc fundraising work for a couple of charities

LoudPlumDog · 10/01/2026 07:48

I do all of those OP, have for years.

No social media on Sundays.
Dont carry my phone around the house with me.
Meditate every day.
A walk everyday, no matter what the weather is.
Cooking everything from scratch.
First hot drink of the day outside.

Twattergy · 10/01/2026 08:13

Great ideas here. Mine include:
Lifting weights in morning when I can (makes rest of the day calmer).
Not on twitter, fb, tiktok.
Minimal interaction with the news.
Not staying up late.
No afterschool and minimal weekend activities that require transport for DS.
Not engaging with consumerist stuff like black Friday.
Not stressing about xmas.
Not drinking alcohol unless a special occasion.

OttersMayHaveShifted · 10/01/2026 08:17

Tbh it's mostly the work side of my life that needs calming down rather than the home side. The work day is manic, so the three things I'm trying to do to make it less stressful are: keep my desk clear (makes me feel so much calmer and more organised); write everything down, including things I think I'll just remember; confine the work I bring home at the weekend to Sunday only. I try not to even think about work on Saturday. Also I use Microsoft To Do as my to do list (for work and home stuff), which clears my head of worries about forgetting to do something!

I really like your list, @LoudPlumDog ! No social media on Saturdays would be good for me. Tbh MN is my vice though - I don't spend much time on Instagram and FB though I have them both.

GonzoGonzo · 10/01/2026 08:17

Keeping it simple
Walk ( I have a step target to beat year on year.. keeps me motivated)
Don't watch the news
Try to spend bit more money on things that bring me some joy (natural saver)
Making my garden attractive to wildlife

Raisondeetre · 10/01/2026 08:26

Loving this thread!

HollyhockDays · 10/01/2026 08:27

I’ve simplified Christmas so it’s not a stress fest
Getting a dog
Meal planning - I hate cooking I could never be one of those people who gets to 5pm and thinks ‘what are we going to eat?’
Reading more

Settingalimit · 10/01/2026 08:39

we both gave up work as have 2 SEN dc. Before that we were physically ill to the point we may no longer have been able to care for them. Life is still hard but we aren’t ill now as have school hours to use for ourselves and any health appts / sleep/ etc

PersephoneParlormaid · 10/01/2026 08:40

I’m going to simplify Christmas next year. I’ve no parents to buy for now, so I’m going to give my adult children money with a quality/thoughtful small gift or two to open.
Im going to make a note of what food was wasted, and not buy it next year.
And I’m also going to say no to the work Secret Santa. I’ve always felt pressured to join in, and I’ve never got something I’ve wanted, it always goes to the charity shop or gets given away.

OP posts:
Notmyreality · 10/01/2026 08:46

Got divorced. Kicked the kids out. Stopped interacting with other human beings.