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Things you have done to make your life better/calmer

428 replies

PersephoneParlormaid · 09/01/2026 06:55

Ive just been reading a post where someone is talking about doing things, or stopping things, to make life easier and calmer, so I thought I’d ask what you have done to hopefully help and inspire others.
For me the loft being jammed packed was really weighing on my mind and causing low level stress for years. So a couple of years ago, in the spring when it’s cooler/warmer, I committed to cleaning it out. It was hard work but I was ruthless, and all that’s up there now is the kids toys and Xmas decorations. I can’t tell you how much happier it’s made me feel getting it done. I think it was reading about Swedish death cleaning that inspired me.
Another thing I do is regularly unsubscribe to emails, especially after Xmas. I couldn’t see the things I needed to see for all the crap in there.
Then I stopped sending Xmas cards. It surprising how many less you get when you don’t send them, so I assume those people didn’t want to send them to me eitner.
And I gave up drinking. It was affecting my sleep and making me so tired the day after. I honestly don’t miss it.
Finally, I say no. If I’m asked to do something I often say no straightaway and then think about it. If I decide to then do it that’s fine. Having a clear calendar with empty days to do nothing is bliss in my book.

OP posts:
Orquid9 · 12/01/2026 04:47

Nice thread.

I do lots and have done for awhile

Leaving my big4 corporate job and bullying partner.
Daily yoga
Meditation
Declautering twice a year
No news
No work stuff on my personal emails.
DH does weekly shopping
Go to sleep when tired mostly
Easy but healthy meals

I am working on accepting that I have less energy in winter and don’t want to go out much without feeling guilty.

I need to work on prioritising myself more as I feel I prioritise the family,

I need to start having a winter break in the sun with family or alone without feeling guilty to cope with SAD.

I want to do more swimming as it helps my mental health and I don’t manage during winter

Mothership4two · 12/01/2026 05:01

Don't watch any news (other than occasional headlines). Joined a book club. Meal planning. Getting a dog (had a cat already). Put in a new bathroom - our old one had small natural tiles that were a bugger to clean (we put it in) but now we have wide smooth tiles and the bathroom 'furniture' is easy clean too. Room used to almost immediately need recleaning and it bugged me.

BusiBo · 12/01/2026 05:13

Got a shared calender app with my other half.

Before that, I kept all appointments, birthdays, reminders ect in my paper diary which meant I was dealing with the logistics and reminding him what we've got going on. Now it's in the shared app... its a shared responsibility and I feel much less stressed.

Thortour · 12/01/2026 05:54

I cut out a few friends who were stressful. I stopped expecting much from various family members and therefore giving them much of my time.
A lot less news.

Read more.
I'd like more alone time. I haven't been alone in my house for months.

Supple · 12/01/2026 05:55

Focused on finances as a priority.

Meant not buying things that weren’t essential so reduced clutter.

When buying save up for quality so the thing improves my life rather than buying to have. One example - hate scraping of plates sound when eating. Don’t like marked plates. Saved up and brought catering service of plates / dishes. Beautiful, robust (literally never break) and no scraping. Makes my every day much better.

Financially free so work part time and plan to have a sabbatical from work to have with the kids.

Been off Facebook, WhatsApp, TikTok whatever. I use Telegram.

For everything including phone calls I have no noise or vibrating notifications.

Each year have always invested in one career improvement - they stack up over time.

I do use MN but have turned off all notifications and update emails.

I sometimes dip into substack. Listen to music on Spotify & podcasts.

Excellent cleaners - they sort the beds too.

Life happens - last few years new kids and parent died. Circle of life. It truly is brief and so little of it matters.

My new one from this list is to stop clicking on AIBU. Not adding to the depth of love in the world.

Flinderskleepers · 12/01/2026 06:36

Have one child instead of 2. I was always going to have a second, but the stress and expense has made me and DH rethink things. I really feel our lives will be much better if we stick with the one!

Listening to classical music - makes my commute to work in the car a more meditative and contemplative space.

Makingadecision · 12/01/2026 06:56

Resined from my senior role and leave very soon. Have a course to do which may lead to a new career but may not. I have enough savings for a year to try and find a role that doesn’t consume me and is a work to live scenario not live to work.
during this year I am going to make sure I meet with friends, exercise more and declutter and just destress and re prioritise.
scary but exciting

PersephoneParlormaid · 12/01/2026 07:04

ChocolateHobbit · 11/01/2026 18:30

Is that the Mel Robbins book? I started it but got bored after the first few pages.

I’ve not read the book, I just use the phrase and let things go.

OP posts:
PersephoneParlormaid · 12/01/2026 07:24

@cinnamongirl123 can I ask where the one size clothes are from? I think one of the reasons I have so few clothes is that I got fed up of ordering and then having to send back.

OP posts:
Silvertulips · 12/01/2026 07:28

I do so many of the things on here

Meal prep - especially for the days i’m going out in the evening

Stopped wasting money on meals out with family where we are expected to pay -

Declutterring

Evening cleaning reduced to 20 minuets a day where everyone does something - game changer and the house is so much nicer.

Read books

Avoid the news

I have a list of jobs I want to do round the house - mainly small stuff that will change our lives -

Boiler service
Fix lights outside
Chimney sweep

Say no to last minute demands - people stop asking!!

3luckystars · 12/01/2026 07:29

smilingontheinside · 11/01/2026 23:09

First got divorced
Second stopped accepting crap from my kids
Third decided I was important and started looking after myself

I love this!! 💝

Shellewriter · 12/01/2026 07:30

Started being more selfish, I have been such a people pleaser all my life, martyrdom is my default setting!

Mostly digital - turned off all notifications possible, phone almost always on silent, religiously unsubscribed to every spam email.

Treated myself to a little handheld hoover just for the stairs

Summerhut2025 · 12/01/2026 07:48

Lost295 · 09/01/2026 08:27

Got two new decent robot hoovers so I have clean floors everyday upstairs and down without having to think about it (and without stressing the animals as they’re much quieter than a normal vacuum). We had old ones, but they were crap and I can’t believe the difference in technology a few years later. So much better.

Decluttered (or rather, am decluttering) including the loft and garage

Purposefully kept most weekends in Nov and Dec free to avoid the normally manic run up to Christmas. Also took two weeks off so I could actually rest and enjoy it.

Had a choice between two jobs. Chose the one where the work might be less my cup of tea, but the team is much, much more supportive.

Turned off notifications for lots of apps, including MN

After years of trying, finally started to accept the idea I’m limited on what I can do to improve DS’s choices and resultant life outcomes and have realised he needs to find his own way/make his own mistakes.

Great thread, OP … it’s one of the things I’ve committed to in 2026 so will keep checking in for other ideas.

Oh what make of robot did you get please?
Must invest in one of those!

OnlyTheBravest · 12/01/2026 07:52

I have never been interested in social media. Rather be out there living my own life.

Limit how much news I read, as the right wing media is out of control.

Decluttered the house. It took a while but it is much easier to keep on top of. And everyone helps out with household chores. No weaponised incompetence allowed.

Removed all toxic people from my life (including family members). As Mary J Blige sang 'No more drama in my life'! And I now have a fab (but much smaller) group of people around me that I can really call my friends.

coolcahuna · 12/01/2026 08:01

Makingadecision · 12/01/2026 06:56

Resined from my senior role and leave very soon. Have a course to do which may lead to a new career but may not. I have enough savings for a year to try and find a role that doesn’t consume me and is a work to live scenario not live to work.
during this year I am going to make sure I meet with friends, exercise more and declutter and just destress and re prioritise.
scary but exciting

Similar decisions being made here! Leaving a senior role to focus on getting back to normal, possibly retraining as well.
Other things I am doing is a total declutter and deep clean of the house, drawer by drawer!
Calmer mind and calmer space.

coolcahuna · 12/01/2026 08:12

mbonfield · 11/01/2026 22:23

My advice would be to not be quick to judge and see the wider picture as I have watched so many fail.
Also count to 10 before making a reply to difficult question and see the other side of the coin.

This is such a good angle of viewing things!

JokerOfTwo · 12/01/2026 08:12

pollythecat · 09/01/2026 08:06

Haven’t done it yet but considering putting my pre schooler into preschool for an extra day purely so I can get a day to myself to catch up on jobs without having a small child under my feet! I could go to the gym maybe, get my nails done, catch up on housework, the possibilities are endless. However I can’t shake off the guilt and keep telling myself I should enjoy this time with her as she starts school next year.

Do it! I’m on maternity leave with my second DC, when we just had the one DC he would do an extra day every other week (week one 3 days at nursery & week two 4 days at nursery) I worked three days week so had a whole day to myself every other week.
God, it was great! Kept it as a me day: coffee, shopping, decorating for Christmas etc

TicTac80 · 12/01/2026 08:14

@coolcahuna , I really like the idea of decluttering/deep cleaning drawer by drawer. I think I will take this idea on. I've got shot of a LOT of stuff/clutter, but need to do more (part of my "shitty job" list!), but a drawer/closet at a time seems more easy to achieve

illsendansostotheworld · 12/01/2026 08:19

I did the same with my loft op - just got Xmas decorations up there now.
Always keep an free day at the weekend so l am rested and ready for the working week.
I bulk buy birthday card and keep a gift drawer for dd's friends - all fairly generic but perfect for her school friends.
Have recently done a 3 week rilling meal plan so not constantly popping to the shops after work.

Raisondeetre · 12/01/2026 08:24

berryberi · 12/01/2026 02:00

I have had a coffee maker on my bedside table for about 6 years. The first one was a timed coffee percolator. I switched to the Nespresso Magimix Vertuo about 3 years ago and it's perfect for making coffee in bed. I can actually put it going while still lying down! At one point of extreme tiredness I considered buying these super long straws so I wouldn't have to sit up until I was caffeinated but it just seemed a step too far!

I love that idea, but what do you do about milk?

Flowerlovinglady · 12/01/2026 08:26

Often nicer characters too and not as chopped up.

coolcahuna · 12/01/2026 08:30

TicTac80 · 12/01/2026 08:14

@coolcahuna , I really like the idea of decluttering/deep cleaning drawer by drawer. I think I will take this idea on. I've got shot of a LOT of stuff/clutter, but need to do more (part of my "shitty job" list!), but a drawer/closet at a time seems more easy to achieve

100%! I've seen the videos where people get every single thing out of their wardrobe. I literally can't deal with that at all and would give up. So the other day I did accessories, this week I'm going to do the bathroom cabinets and maybe kitchen cabinets. I also clean as I go.

It might take a year but I find doing it this way manageable and calming.

Pickledpoppetpickle · 12/01/2026 08:39

did the Freedom Programme again.....massive difference the second time and many years post-divorce with an ex who just wouldn't let go

took a solo trip to a European capital city to give myself some space to work out what the hell was going on for me....the not needing to speak to anyone unless absolutely necessary, wandering about monuments, castles and art galleries and even getting a long lie in was so good for my brain. Had the opportunity to unwind massively

took ashwaganda for a few months to help manage my anxiety, researched supplements and vitamins and started on what I thought might help...it has helped. Now using kind patches as well.

started to lose weight by finding the money in my budget for WLIs.

discovered I could dress better using Vinted

decluttered and improved my cleaning routines so the house is more pleasant to be in

RoamingToaster · 12/01/2026 08:49

I've reduced using my phone for my kindle. I've managed to read a book already this year and find it so much more enjoyable than social media etc.

Thepeopleversuswork · 12/01/2026 08:51

The biggest source of stress in my life by far is my horrible job, which I'm trying to extract myself from. I'm fairly sure when I eventually get out of the prison that is corporate work a lot of the stress will melt away.

Other than that:

  • Stopping (or nearly stopping) drinking. Diminishing returns over the past 10 years, it makes my brain and body function far worse and I finally accepted that my life would be calmer, happier and more focused without it so am now nearly teetotal.
  • Learning how to properly relax: I'm not good at this at all, it really goes against the grain for me so this is still a work in progress but learning that its OK sometimes to lie in bed on a Sunday afternoon reading.
  • Exercise: running and yoga give me huge benefits in mood, self-esteem, feeling of wellness
  • Being in nature: massively benefits my mental health
  • Unlike a lot of people on here I'm not on a quest to narrow my social circle and eliminate most friends. If anything I want more friends as I get older, not less. But learning that its OK to say no to social stuff sometimes in order to not burn out has been helpful.
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