Things that sound nice but actually aren't

[WeeAgnes]

I'm putting forward Fruit teas.
Some of the combinations sound so promising and positively delicious.

In reality, they taste what I imagine drinking pot pourri to be like.

Virtually every dessert from a standard restaurant. Either an overly sickly sweet rich wedge of a thing or delicately pretty but completely tasteless 😩

Lunch at the Ivy. Four of five plates sent back.

Cocktails. Image in head of SATC. Reality sticky, syrupy and over too quickly.

Most takeaways. The thought is nearly always better than the reality

There aren't many foods that I hate but when I tasted goat's cheese I truly thought 'this is what evil would taste like'!

Festive coffees/hot chocolate. Sound and look delicious, but never as nice as the ordinary ones (imo).

Cup cakes - hardly any actual cake just loads of very sickly icing. Impossible to eat delicately.

this. I almost never order pudding when eating out because it's nearly always meh. 'Crumble' made from fruit that has had crumbs scattered over it and torched.

I love goats' cheese, the goatier the better.

This. And it gets worse every year.

Everything that is pushed down your throat as being the latest money making trend. Plus…. Avocado

Cold wet vile tasting stuff
sourdough…. Yuk horrible texture

thats funny - I found hello fresh big portions and im greedy!

Pub Restaurants. Most of them where I live seem to have stopped doing anything other than massively overpriced burgers in brioche buns.

Massages just give me the rage because on the rare occasions I’ve had one, I seem to get the masseuse with the lightest touch imaginable and I end up more stressed.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/1368345857486539

Holidays with children!

Iced donuts, cupcakes and iced cookies. They look so beautiful but they really aren’t food.

Seasonal coffees. A massive gingerbread latte with spiced syrup, whipped cream (which is often that evil synthetic non-dairy gubbins) and a tiny gingerbread man…it looks and smells gorgeous, but it’s really just a bucket of diabetes that makes you feel nauseous.

Cold water swimming. It looks so positive and bracing and healthy, but it’s a horrible, grubby, jarring, nasty and violent experience - the only pleasure is in it being over, and feeling slightly smug that you managed to defy every instinct of your body and mind to get through it.

Family cycling trips. It’s another one that looks so wholesome and fulfilling at first glance, but it’s awful. There’s always a dad who speeds on blithely leaving mum to chivvy along the tearful, resentful youngest on their tiny bike, an older child who weaves all over the shop and pretends not to hear instructions, nobody really gets the bike ride they wanted but somehow everyone ends up knackered and frazzled anyway (except dad).

I agree re both. But brioche is transformed by making it into a blackberry and brioche bread-and-butter pudding (using cream). Oh my god, I am salivating at the thought.

Oysters

Tapas, unless in Spain

Christmas markets! Always rammed and quite often over priced tat!

Chlamydia. Sounds like a lovely house plant but it isn’t.

I love yoga but do it at home so it’s ok if I cry (I did last night).

I do agree re fruit teas, so so bitter.

Also oddly agree re holidays UNLESS I am doing something amazing. Last year I went to the Olympics and it cost sooooo much (tbf I paid for dd and ds too) but it was truly amazing and I will never forget it.

My suggestion - wellness at work. An hour of making some useless painted item or paper flowers, but the work is still waiting for me when I get back to my desk.

Nasty sex ponds.

I would contest the suggestion that oysters look nice. To me they look like the withered labia of a corpse that’s been recovered from the ocean floor 🤮

@teddyclown exactly! so funny

Also hate spa days. Shivering in a bikini eating salad next to an indoor swimming pool just isn't my thing.

Fruit teas obvs. In fact any kind of tea that isn't 'normal' tea. Chai lattes. Prosecco. Glamping. Visiting family.

...Because a lot of discharge looks like it?