Things that sound nice but actually aren't

[WeeAgnes]

I'm putting forward Fruit teas.
Some of the combinations sound so promising and positively delicious.

In reality, they taste what I imagine drinking pot pourri to be like.

That’s what magic mushrooms feel like. Apparently 😉

Fish and chips are lovely! How dare you.

Heavens alive, yes. I had a run in with Dulcolax a week or so ago (featuring the beautiful fairy dust that is pico liquid). I have been simultaneously unable to think about what happened, whilst being unable to talk about anything else ever since. Fucking hell. They should offer a free pair of pants and counselling with each bottle sold.

Have to agree with PPs about hot tubs - who wants to sit in an unpleasant consommé of other people's dead skin cells and bodily fluids? Many years ago my sister acquired an infection from one and referred to it as Trench Minge, a phrase that lives on in our family's history.

Booze in general. Never, ever liked it. Even the drinks that are okay - eg. Baileys, flavoured gins - I would still prefer non-alcoholic versions, I don't get the appeal of it at all.

I was a fruit tea hater but have since moved to cinnamon tea which is lovely. Liquorice or rose teas are also quite nice.

re the Christmas markets, the one time I really enjoyed them was on a trip to Cologne in December - there were 7, all with their own themes and the mulled wine came in an actual proper mug which you had the option of keeping (due to the German deposit system).

I have to agree with any cakes/desserts that are not home made. All the stuff you get at buffets seems to taste the same - bland creamy shit. I love a decent home made bun or cake though 🤤

Chutney. Love the smell, love the idea. Actual stuff is like someone put sick in a jar.

Big, fat, over-the-top maximalist Indian wedding receptions. So crass and grossly extravagant. I prefer western wedding receptions, which seem like more intimate, tasteful, pared down affairs.

Taking a bath

This would be one of my worst nightmares !
Urrghhhh , how you describe one in murky water 😱

This made me laugh so hard! DH is looking at me funny.

This!! I’ve been saying this for years!!

I have a lovely collection of Christmas market mugs, mostly from Hamburg, love going there, I never spend a fortune on tat and I adore the garlic mushrooms!

days at the beach

Agreed. There is nothing that I like about being on the beach. And I have lived in a seaside town (in the US) for the past 30 years. I do, however, like looking at the ocean from indoors at a favorite restaurant. I mention indoors because they also have outdoor seating in the sun with the wind blowing. No thanks. I'll have a table by the window with the only breeze coming from the air conditioning, please.

Clothes shopping - just hellish
Christmas Markets - overpriced crap
Adults being forced to play board games and the like - please fuck off
Making your own pastry, pasta etc - just why, expensive waste of time
Other people's kids, full stop

Home made cakes, particularly the decorative ones- many people over estimate how well they can bake .

Cinema trips, full of people talking, eating and coughing during the film.

Theatre trips/concerts- full of people
who got pissed at the bar before and during the performance . People who sing along loudly- I didn’t pay ££££ for a ticket to
have the singer drowned out by a group of cackling women!

Agree with sex in the bath. Tried it three times. Each time was pushed under in the heat of the moment and nearly drowned. Won’t be trying it again.

Sex in shower - just find something to hold onto and make sure the guy is taller than you.

Agree about fruit teas, and would extend my revulsion to all herbal teas. The herby ones don't even smell nice. Camomile is camo-vile, basically a hot mug of stagnant pond water.

Artichokes, asparagus and caviar are all similarly horrible. Urine and snot adjacent in texture/smell.

Sunbathing

Picnics. Literal hell. If I were sent to Hell I would imagine an endless picnic.

Any kind of supermarket canape

Hot tubs for sure

Now you see this sounds totally disgusting to me, so the reality might actually be better than what I’m imagining!

Coffee pulls this trick too!

Baths - boring and wet
IDK you can read a book or phone in the lovely hot water.

Showers are always disappointing to me. Too much adjustment. Takes ages to work out what’s hot/cold, power or which bit it’s coming out off on complicated ones. Some go cold if anyone else turns a tap on or get progressively hotter.
The second you get out of the warm cubicle it’s bloody freezing. And the condensation sets off my fire alarm.

Winter light trails. Just what you want in December, to get everyone out in the dark to go and walk round a dark park, often freezing cold and or damp/wet, standing in puddles you didn't see, with an expectation to buy hugely expensive hot chocolates and German sausages and pay for fairground rides. I went to Kew once - never again.

Also the worst of the shop bought cakes - millionaires shortbread. Tastes nothing like the homemade version.

And this absolutely finished me off! 🤣🤣🤣 Tears running down my cheeks. DH finally turned to me and said, "I'd ask you to share, but it's probably going to be anticlimactic". I made him pause his film and read him some of the highlights on this thread. He declared them to be "mildly amusing". I'm practically wetting myself!