Constipation- someone PLEASE help me

[HelpMeMelpHe]

I have been constipated for 7 days. That may not sound like a lot but I usually go 2/3 times a day without issue. I was away on holiday and ate crap food and basically survived on crisps and pizza as I was so hot I had no appetite.

I am currently lying on the bed in tears, I have tried:
orange juice
4 suppositories
3 x enemas
putting my feet up
relaxing
black coffee
a special vitamin tablet which DP says always makes him go
Drinking loads of water
pushing from inside my vagina
actually trying to manually remove the stool (sorry for the way TMI)
sitting in a warm bath
massaging my stomach
dulcolex

ill be ringing my GP first thing in the morning but can ANYONE suggest anything else. I’m in a total panic, I can just feel the rock hard stool, I’m in agony, shaking and it hurts to walk. To top it off I’m on my period which I hoped would get things going but nothing. Someone please help I am desperate and I’m worried my gp will just prescribe everything I’ve already tried. I’m a nurse and working all weekend and at this point I can’t see how I can go into work which would leave my team in the absolute shit (pardon the pun). I don’t know what to do 🫨🫨

A Vogel molkosan whey or fruit…
mice not read the whole thread as I’m whacked, but your plea op stood out for me… had to reply.

best of wishes for a speedy recovery.

Laxido does not work in a way that will cause you to have an accident/incident in a patent's home. It does not cause acute runny stool or griping guts. .

I was like this after my to tonsillectomy. It sounds gross but I was told by a friend to ‘stand on the toilet bowl and squat’ like a primate… and it did actually help. Felt really bizarre and when she told me I cried out loud but it did work!

If nothing works get to a and e

This.

When you think about it it’s the most natural way, it shortens the distance.

As a community nurse, what do you usually advise your patients in this situation?

You should make sure you are drinking fluids as you need water (preferably warm) to flow into your bowel. Hope something works soon. Also I know it’s hard but try not to stress. Maybe lie down with a hot water bottle on your tummy.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4169195-Ive-given-myself-constipation-when-will-it-wear-off?page=2&reply=104811051

This thread from a couple of years ago helped me!

Epsom salts are really effective, but can be dramatic.Then use two suppositories at the same time. Or multiple sachets of laxido plus the suppositories. Massage the colon and maybe eat a little something, chewing slowly to kick-start the digestive process.Best of luck.

No. It would be bollocks going on

Listen, if you’re not farting or have no bowel sounds, you need to go to A & E and NIL BY MOUTH, till you have an abdominal X-ray… where’s that nursing knowledge gone?? Fec the embarrassment, get yourself sorted..

She won’t be doing that because she isn’t one.

Another recommendation for a glass of warm prune juice. It really works OP but you need to stay near a loo. It will be blissful once you’ve been!

Sex or anal sex?

Me too! Not necessarily that particular one but there were several threads about impaction and they made me less scared, because I was really scared and the pain was unbearable.

Prune juice will do the trick, but only drink in small amounts otherwise your poo will shoot out, good luck xx

I was in such a state with constipation on holiday in Japan (thanks to their diet lacking pretty much any fibre whatsoever) that DH and I went to a ramen restaurant so that I could get a bowl of ramen that was a 18/20 on their spicy scale, knowing it would essentially make me ill. It worked. I did not have a nice time the next day, but I had relief.

You have my sympathies op.

Thanks!

DH and DD1 both have prunes (just a couple) in the morning to help things along. I’ve found that they are the only thing that works for me if I have a problem - like you I don’t usually suffer with constipation, but just occasionally things go awry1. Good luck OP , hope you are feeling more comfortable very soon.

Thread’s taken a weird turn.

Warning this might be quite graphic.

I was once very constipated after being on codeine, I hadn't gone to the toilet in about 2 weeks, I used to go twice a day and I was in pain and so uncomfortable. It was awful and I could feel the stool getting bigger and bigger and when I was trying to go I wasn't able to pass it because of the size (sorry, TMI). But I was also too embarrassed to tell anyone or get help for it. I drank loads of black coffee as strong as I could manage, drank loads of water, covered a wet wipe in vaseline and had to massage my bum while I sat (stood?) on the toilet seat with my feet flat on the seat and my knees pretty much tucked under my chin, so like in a deep squat and just massaged my bum with the vaseline while pushing. It worked, I felt like I had given birth and was exhausted but it gave me such relief and honestly scared me to ever get like that again. I sympathise with you, constipation is awful. I also also suffered with it during pregnancy and used to spend an hour on the toilet just pushing trying to go

The glycerin suppositories and lactulose don't work for me.

Go outside and smoke a couple of cigs while in the squatting position.

This sounds awful OP. You can sense your absolute desperation. I agree with PP, you need to see a doctor. This isn't a case of not having a poo for a few days. You may have got to the point where you physically can't and trying all these DIY remedies could cause you a nasty tear and infection.

A huge spoon of flax seed and a hot black coffee
this is fail safe