Can anyone give me a 'Fuck you, Neil'?

[RamsaySnowsSausage]

I sent some info out on Monday to some shareholders in my job. I sent an update to the information out today.

A Neil, who I have never had any interaction with, but who is a senior shareholder replied...

Thanks Ramsay, would have been good to know that on Monday and everyone agrees.

He copied in everone. It's more than my job is worth to respond...but a FU would be much appreciated.

And share any work frustrations...I'll be on your side.

To clarify...the updated information was not available until today.

Fuck 'im . But why can't you say you did send it out on Monday? Hopefully one of the other shareholders will respond

Fuck you cunting Neil.

Seriously reply all and say yes it would have been useful to know on Monday but the info only became available today.

That's innocuous surely?

Yessss, thank you.

Sorry @Nagginthenag I should have explained that the updated info only came out today.

Never met a good ‘Neil’ - all been ocean-going a-holes.

I'd be accused of disrespect/ having an attitude etc.

It's a fact though! Who would accuse you of that? Is Neil a bigwig?

Thanks Neil, I would have also liked to have known on Monday.

This. Probably smoother than my suggestion.

Or.

Reply all, very politely, but misspell his name.

Neal or Neale.

Any kind of defence of yourself is seen as 'not in the spirit'. Apparently it's a no- blame culture 🙄

Ooh, I like this.

I'm terribly sorry, Neil, but I only received the updated information today.
(Translation- shove your lame opinion where the sun don't shine, you tiny penised wanker).

I'd respond

Hi Neil

The additional information only became available today.

Kind regards
OP

Factual and non-inflammatory.

My apologies Neil, the Crystal ball was in for repairs.

I would love this...and honestly, we could have known Monday but the 3 levels above me were all on leave so I did as told and then have to take the blame for an update. And I will because I bought into this 'no-blame' culture. Only applies to certain grades it seems!

Sorry Neil, I only got the information today and, as nice as it might have been for you to receive it sooner, I don't have a magic wand.

Wordy but 🤷

Or.

Go full Les Grossman on Neil - call him and say ‘Now, I want you to take a step back and literally fuck your own face!’

Subtle, I know.

Fuck you, Neil!

I think I must have typed out all these replies, then deleted them when thinking about my mortgage 😂

It's supposed to be an environment not based on hierarchy but the shit doesn't half flow down hill. It can stay with me, I'll take the blame, punch a pillow, have a peach schnapps, go for a jog, hug my babies and move on. But for now:

FUCK YOU NEIL

Perhaps we can add an item to the next agenda, Neil, to see if people would prefer not to have any information sent until all the updates are known, or whether we should continue to send what we can and update as soon as possible?

I’d be tempted to reply saying that this was follow up information which has only just become available and is in additional to your original email sent on Monday. Factual and not rude

Haha, I fucking love this!! And a video of me dancing to Get Back.

Get back motherfucker, you don't know me like that!!!

Oh my goodness, me too, now that I think about it!!