How would your spouse/partner react if...

[Dinodrivingacar]

You accidentally reversed your car into a wall and caused some scratches to the bumper? Then went to some garages to price up quotes and get booked in. You will pay for repairs. For info, it's a fairly new and decent car.

He owns my car so he'd be a bit put out I suppose and huff for a few mins.

But if I said I was paying for it he wouldn't let me and then he would arrange for it to be fixed.

Totally unfair reaction tell him to get f'd.

He'd laugh, mainly because when he borrowed my car he almost did the very same thing himself, just managed to stop in the nick of time. And I'd have laughed at him too.

He was a long distance lorry driver (really big juggernauts) and my car is one of the smallest on the market.

Well he was an expert in knocking off the wing mirror (three times over a two month period), so he wouldn't say a thing!

My husband is more surprised when I don't bump the car these days
We don't get stressed about these things. Nobody got hurt.

It's not normal. If he doesn't treat you the same way you would treat him under the same circumstances, it's not normal. He's a twat.

My husband would ask me if I was ok and see if he could repair it himself.

If it needed the garage it would be out of my pocket.

He hasn't yet taken the mickey, he knew I was very stressed and overwhelmed when it happened.

Well the silent treatment is quite nice. Have had a nice day with the kids without him getting in the way. I've never really been given the silent treatment before. I'm wondering how/if he is ever going to stop it ... 🤷🏼‍♀️

Your relationship is over if you’re enjoying his silence, just shows his cruelty when he does speak. You are worth more.

He’ll tell you he’s ready to forgive you as soon as he starts to realise that you’re enjoying him not talking to you. At the moment, he still thinks he’s hurting you.

It’s a bloody miserable way to spend your life OP, don’t you think you deserve better?

I’ve done this. He said and would say, these things happen as he’d know I’d be really mad at myself.

Hello! Man here who isn't the same. DP managed to lose a bumper and scratch the fuck out of two doors in a small accident last year. I made her a cup of coffee, gave her a big hug, listened to her talk about it and then went off and sorted it with the insurance and garage.

Now you know one of us, does it help you see how fucked up your husbands behaviour is?

Mine would check I was ok, then would look at the damage and get it sorted, and tell me not to worry about it. He would probably use the phrase “it’s only stuff.

I almost don't want to answer on reading your updates because I feel awful for you! The way he has reacted isn't ok.

I literally ripped of the left wing recently and on the same day (after driving to the body shop for a quote) came back and in the exact same place scratched right down the passenger door 🙈 My partner brought me 3 bottles of wine (they didn't have my favourite so he brought 3 to make sure I liked one) told me to take the money from the wedding fund to get it sorted and as I was beating myself up so hard told me all the times he'd scratched cars and said it happens.

I really hope you are ok and that he apologises for his unfair reaction x

It’s sad to think that your children will be looking at this, like you, and thinking it is normal.

It is not normal.

Thanks for all the replies. Very helpful to hear.

If it was scratches only I doubt we'd bother to tell each other.
I'm not that bothered about small dinges nor is DH

I once drove my DH’s car into the bay window of our house (a completely misjudged manoeuvre). I rang him in tears, so much that he thought I had demolished the front of the house, rather than the scrape that it was.

first thing he said: are you and the kids ok?
second thing: do I need to find a hotel for tonight?
third thing: if you’ve not actually demolished the house I don’t think you need to cry that much. Deep breaths 😀

Mine reacted the exact same as yours, made me but like him. Considering divorce. He didn't even ask how I was, a neighbour did tho.

I hit the neighbours and damaged his. He said don’t worry - I will see if work will sort it. Can’t remember what dh said because he isn’t an arse and it was appropriate.

Do the freedom programme-
i think it might be revelatory. He sounds awful.

I actually did this. To our house wall 🙈. Damaged the car and the house.

He laughed and arranged for both to be fixed.

In our relationship it’s me that ends up paying if DW damages the cars. It pisses me off of course but at the end of the day it’s only a car and can be repaired. It hurts when it’s something nice 🤣🤣

He'd say, ah well, these things happen. Are you ok?

Like I did to him when he did the same this week!!

Apparently my Christmas present is now driving lessons.....

He'd make sure that I'm ok then go on in a huff about how much the repairs will be. Tbh so would I considering we've not got much to spare as is.